how soon is it to start planning? I mean how early is too early to send out invitations? I know the date is 9-27-2008 but not sure of the location yet. We found out that Heceta Head Lighthouse does weddings. We are really into lighthouses and thought that would be special. But we need to contact them and see what the price is.

I have a dress...it is my future mother-in-laws.

My mom is going to make my bouquet and the cake.
What kind, I don't know.

I was thinking of a deep red w/ a silver and white for my colors but not sure on that either.

jeez! All I really have that is set in stone is my dress.

I have no clue what I am doing.

Help! Please!!

First of all, Dear One, breathe!
Best wishes for a bright and happy future.

Now- 9 months is just about perfect.
Get that location nailed down as soon as you can, September is a surprisingly popular month and if you want that lighthouse, it's wise to book it ASAP... If it turns out that their pricing is outside your budget, finding out now allows time to seek out another site.
(Maybe close enough to spend your wedding night at the lighthouse's Bed and Breakfast?)

Have you two already decided who you want to have as your attendants? The sooner you ask the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the better- It would be dreadful to wait until May and discover that the guy he wants for his Best Man made plans to spend September in New England, or something.

Find your photographer.
Before you make a firm decision on colours, talk to your photographer- some shades are stunningly lovely in person but do not work on film.
If you're considering a band or a DJ, book them early, too... all the better if you can see them perform before you commit.

Get the guest list made up, complete with confirmed mailing addresses.


Now that you have an idea of how many will be invited....
Next up is deciding on the menu, 6 months is a really great length of time because it means that you can really discuss this at length with the staff at the lighthouse to create a menu to take advantage of the seasonal fare of the area and still stay on some sort of budget.


With that setting, you won't be doing a whole lot of decorating, but I imagine you will want to think about centerpieces and favours- If you're not opposed to using artificial flowers for the centerpieces, you can make them well in advance and have that much less to worry about later on.
If you're going to order anything personalized for decoration or favours, do it at least 4 months before the wedding. This allows time for the order to be replaced if the vendor spells your name wrong or ships the wrong colour.

Same with invitations, get them early even though you won't be mailing them until July.

Over the next 9 months, please mark one day on the calendar each month to do NOTHING wedding related- it's easy to get so caught up in the planning that "real life" takes a back seat.

Good luck! I wish you long years, great joy and small troubles.

Don’t worry! Don’t panic! Just make lots of lists.

Once you’ve set your date, it’s never too early to start planning and setting things down -especially photographers, caterers and locations. MrsS gave you some good tips, and it really is important to reserve your dates as soon as you know them. Things book up faster than you would believe. It is also important to decide on what sort of officiant you want, because if you have a particular sort of ceremony in mind, you’ll want to be sure to nail down your officiant before they are booked by someone else.

I would recommend going to a bookstore and checking out their bridal catalogues. You don’t need to get a huge stack, just some that pique your interest. The most important thing is to find one with a checklist: things the bride and groom should be responsible for vs. their families vs. the wedding party, as well as deadlines for getting certain things done.

Something I have seen done is sending out “save the date” cards so that people know your wedding is coming up, but you’re not sending the actual invitations out until a few months ahead of time. That might be more trouble that it’s worth, though. It depends on your personal situation. Our wedding was pretty small, so pretty much everyone knew the date well beforehand, without “save the date” cards.

And don’t forget about your marriage license! You usually can’t get that more than a week ahead of the actual date, so mark it in your calendar to get it as soon as you can, but not too soon.

The most important thing is to make sure you (and your fiancé, I suppose) are happy. It is YOUR wedding, so make sure you are content with the decisions you are making. And if you want a lemon meringue cake and a purple dress, then by gosh have them! If you want non-traditional wording on your invitation, or don’t want to have assigned seating or want all of your photos in black and white, then do that. It is entirely up to you. Listen to other people’s opinions and take them into consideration, but make sure that the wedding makes you and your fiancé happy. Everyone else will have a good time if you are happy.

It's never too early to begin planning.

The first thing you need is a planning tool of some sort. Some bridal websites acutally have a program you can download for free and use. It's an excel or spreadsheet based program that has everything a bride (and her maid of honor) needs to do to prepare. It even gives you detailed time frames so you can plan down to the day!

Another tool that is good and useful and much more portable is a wedding planner. You can buy these at amazon, at any book retailer or wedding website or store. These are great because they offer a hard copy back-up in case you experience computer trouble and you can take it with you when you go on appointments. Another added benefit to this is, it makes a great memory once that big day is over.

Another over looked, much needed, crucial thing you need is a Maid of Honor. She is responsible for doing so much and taking a lot of burden off your shoulders. Your maid of honor should be wise, frugal, a good planner, someone who doesn't mind taking charge, makes good decisions and someone you implicitly TRUST! This person should be someone you like, someone who is VERY reliable and you are close to. While your best friend is the logical choice, think about her gifts and assets. Does she have what it takes to be essentially your wedding manager? Because that's what the Maid of Honor does.

These are the basics to get you started. For the time being, forget venues, menues and colors... these are details that you will find will fall neatly in place after you get started. Don't obsess over the small stuff, most of that isn't your job anyway. Just relax, enjoy your groom to be and have fun! After all... it isn't about the wedding... it's about the marriage.

Oh, and make an appointment with your Pastor for pre-marital counselling... it will save you mountains of tears later. Trust me on that one.

one simple answer NOW. pretty soon it will be just around the corner to next week.

well, I called about the Heceta Head Lighthouse today. Unfortuantly, they are booked for Sept. 27th. We are already sold on that date because it is special and we do not want to change it.

There are a couple of other lighthouses here in Oregon where you can have weddings. One we aren't too sure about. It isn't really all that special.

I am waiting for the Lighthouse in Port Orford to get back to me. That lighthouse is neat because you can actually exchange the vows right next to the light.


So I have the dress and the ring, just waiting for the location.

We are just trying to decide whom to invite. Family is a deffinate. He has alot more than I do. We have alot of co workers that would like to come but we don't want a whole lot of people either. And we both have a few friends we want to invite as well.

We don't have a pastor and don't feel the need for pre marital counseling anyway. We have been together for over 3 years and have lived together for almost 3 years now. We have never argued over anything other than something extrememly trivial. It never lasts long and we always apologize to each other anyway.

thank you everyone for your advice

If the other lighthouse ever gets back to me, I'll post an update

Well, Good news! The lighthouse is available!!! The lady put my name down for September 27th. We are soooo excited!!

It's going to be in the lantern room. You can only have 6 people in there at a time though (bride, groom, lighthouse keeper, photographer and 2 witnesses) but the lady that I spoke to today said that we can do the offical exchanging of the vows in the lantern room and then do a mock exchange downstairs for everyone else.

Inquired about a marriage license today, they are only good for 60 days so we have to wait for that.

Now we have to makea trip up to Spokane so I can get my dress. I'm sure it will need alterations. And now that I know the location, I can look into inviations. Though I was kind of toying w/ the idea of making them myself.

Decorations are easy because it's a National Historical Monument, free standing decorations only.

My mom is still going to make te cake, just haven't discussed what kind yet. We can have a small one on the lighthouse, no big ones.

Oh and it's after 4:30pm which means we stand a good chance of having a sunset!!

I am so happy!!

You can go to www.lighthousekeeper.com to see photos of the lighthouse and pictures of others who have had their weddings there

That looks really fantastic!

I think it's a little early for the invitations. I do think now is a perfect time to send out save the date notices. You can find really great magnets or creative save the date cards online. Make sure you check out The Knot. The site lets you keep track of your guests, your budget and gives you to do lists. It is fantastic and free. I think about 4 months is a perfect time to send the invitations. Invitations sent too early get lost or forgotten about. Keep in mind that most halls don't ask for a final head count until a few weeks before the wedding.

Congratulations!

Are save-the-date cards coming into fashion for everyone these days? I've been seeing them more and more but I had been under the impression that they were "traditionally" for those high society folk who need to plan everything far in advance so their tailor can make their evening gowns...

I'm about to get the snot knocked out of me for this, I'm sure, but, no, save the date cards are not a vital componant of anything- They were actually created by the printing industry as a means of doubling the potential profit on each wedding.
The ways the wedding date is usually supposed to be announced are by letter, telephone and the announcement in the newspaper.... any or all of these are completely proper.
Invitations are usually sent 4 to 6 weeks in advance of the wedding, though in this case, I might say 6 to 8 weeks to allow for extra travel planning.

I sent save the date magnets and everyone really liked them. I just think that it is way too soon for invitations. I can't see sending an invitation in February for a late September wedding. Save the date reminders are a personal choice. Sure they are a money maker, but so are most wedding accessories.

Too cute!

quote:

Save the date reminders are a personal choice. Sure they are a money maker, but so are most wedding accessories.

Sure thing. I guess that's why we really didn't have very much in the way of wedding accessories. Heck, we didn't even put an announcement in the paper -all that leads to is a bunch of junk mail.

Those magnets are very cute, and different, though. And what is important is that it's what you wanted, and not something you felt was expected.

quote:

And what is important is that it's what you wanted, and not something you felt was expected.

And THAT was my point,as well.
I love some of the darling and creative things people do for their weddings, what I object to is people being pressed to do things based on non-existant "traditions" or "conventions" that serve the commercial interests of those in the wedding industry but are in no way required, or even usual, elements of the occasion.

Exactly. That's why we had no "rehersal dinner" and I bought my dress at Hot Topic.
Couldn't've said it better myself, MrsS.

Heather I hope you will be able to stop in Astoria when you go to Spokane!

well, Iam not going to send out the invitations right away. Simply want to have them made. I had a good idea for them too. We have a picture of the Cape Blanco lighthouse that we took last year and I thought about using that as the fron tof the invitation and putting the actual invite on the back.

We have the location reserved for the reception. It is going to be at an Italian Restaurant in Coos Bay. It's called Benetti's. They serve really good food. We have the entire upstairs reserved. Reasonably priced at only $10.00 a person plus the cost of food. Very nice place. www.benettis.com

Paul's mom and his oldest sister and her fiance are planning a trip to Seattle in the spring and his mom said she would bring the wedding dress along w/ the headpiece and veil w/ them and we could meet them there. Alot closer of a drive than Spokane.

We still have to get Paul's suit and his ring. We have friends that make jewerly so they are going to make it.

We decided to "honeymoon" up in Washington. We are big on lighthouses and have gotten pictures of all the ones in Oregon and several in California. But we don't have in from Washington. So we are going to do that w/ a another possible stop in Seattle. We are also going to check out Port Angeles. We are thinking of relocating there. (Paul was born there)

Anyway...we are both pretty excited. We have the place for the ceremony and the reception reserved. The 2 biggest things. I have my dress and my ring. My mom's making the cake. We need to save up money, (that is a reasonably easy one), get his ring, his suit and figure out a guest list, which we sort of already have.

Thanks, everyone for all of your help, tips and suggestions. Now I just gotta remember to breath.

I just found out this last Thursday, that the lighthouse's license was revoked on the 19th of February, to do weddings. It was done so by the Bureau of Land Management and the Coast Guard. The lady who did the weddings said that it was all thanks in part to some bureaucrat in Washington DC. It seems that a lighthouse keeper back east was doing weddings at their lighthouse but taking all the money they charged for themselves. Cape Blanco was using all the money they made towards preservation of the lighthouse. But for whatever reason, some idiot politician found out about them doing weddings and had their license revoked. They are trying to get their license back but it could take a year or more.

We are back to square one!!! There are 2 other lighthouses in Oregon that do weddings but one is booked on 9-27 and the other lighthouse is a crappy house w/ no electricity.

Now we have to find another location to have the wedding. We are trying to keep it down south as we already have the Restaurant for the reception booked and a hotel room.


I almost cried! And talking to the lady on the phone (the Lighthouse lady) she sounded near tears as well. She said that her and her husband loved doing the weddings and had been doing them for 4 years.

I am so bummed and disappointed.

I never did post back that we got everything up & running again. DIfferent location but it's still near a lighthouse. And it's still on for 9-27-08.

I have my dress (I had to buy a new one because my MIL wanted any alterations needed, done by hand and nobody would do it that way), my ring, Paul has his suit and is getting his ring made as we speak. We are making the cakes (my Mom was supposed too but she passed away in June. )

So we are well on our way w/ only 40 days (counting today) togo. Yay!

Good luck and long happiness!

Are you going to have "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue (and a silver sixpence in her shoe)"? (You might not bother with the last: the sixpence, a tiny British coin in silver metal, was last minted in the 1960s, the last in solid sterling silver in 1920 and the last with any silver in it at all in 1946 )