So, I work with one of my bridesmaids. She decided to have a work shower for me, which is fine. I gave her a guest list of who is going to be invited to the wedding. She calls me yesterday to tell me the details and to tell me THAT SHE'S INVITED A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT I'M NOT INVITING TO THE WEDDING!!!

What do I do??? I can't let her invite people to the shower and not invite them to the wedding. That's tacky!!! I'm so upset with her!! Any ideas???

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Over the years, many of my colleagues have had "work showers" and most of the people were not invited to the wedding.

If it's a shower with just work people being held at work, you are not, in any way, obligated to invite them. Heck - how many times do they have birthday parties at work for people and you're not exactly expected to spend your birthday with them.

I'd not fret over it. I think it would be more rude to have a work shower and only have select co-workers invited. I'm sure that most of the people that you work with would be uncomfortable actually being invited to a wedding for someone they merely work with and aren't friends with.

I agree with Lydia. "Work showers" are a way of including co-workers in your celebration and letting them have the chance to congratulate you. I've never experienced co-workers feeling jilted because they were not invited to a wedding. Most realize that there is a work life and a personal life.

Just enjoy this shower. The people that attend are happy for you

I agree. A girl I work with got married and a bunch of us bought a cake and had a little party for her with gifts. I wasn't invited to the wedding and that was great with me. (no stress) I was able to congratulate her without being obligated to go to the wedding. Not everyone has the time to go to a wedding. It isn't always convenient to go to a wedding. No matter how much they like you, it still can be inconvenient. (time taken off work, babysitters, finding something to wear and a date). I know it feels kind of funny to you but think about it. Would you go to a work wedding shower for a coworker if you weren't invited to the wedding? Sure you would. I think it was really nice of your coworker to do that for you. Don't be mad at her. She had to invite everyone. (probably a few even she didn't even like) If you aren't that close to some of the people going, it still is the right thing to have them be invited. (no hurt feelings) If she didn't invite everyone, THAT would have been tacky!

not to worry, my daughter is getting married this weekend and there was a shower for her and half the people that were at the shower were not invited to the wedding. Hopefully people understand that you can't have everyone at your wedding.

Most people in this situation realize why you are not inviting them to your wedding. Heck, I had a destination wedding with NO guests, and my family still threw me a huge shower.