How can I keep my house neat and tidy, if not clean, neat and tidy?

No joke. I just can't get a handle on it. Never could I guess. But now with a full-time job, 2 boys under 10 and a hubby that does help, but still - it is always a mess. Well, maybe for 24 hours after the monthly housecleaning occurs that I pay $75 for, it is pretty clean. But then it falls apart again. Tips? Miracles? Volunteers?
***************************************************************
06-03-06, 12:16 AM
jusork
What exactly is doing the cluttering? I'm guessing it's mostly the kids' stuff? If so, maybe you could set aside a room, if not their own rooms, just for their stuff. Like a playroom, and try to get them to keep their stuff in there. Either that or try to teach them, along with your husband, to put things back wherever they go before they've left them. Do these things have places to go in the first place though?
***************************************************************
06-03-06, 02:52 AM
babthrower
The three secrets are: declutter, declutter, declutter. Children cannot play with eighty toy cars and stuffed bunnies and little guns and balls and so forth in one day. Besides, they get really bored with seeing them all the time, so they don't appreciate them anyhow, and are always asking for new ones. But at the end of the day, you have to pick them all up, even though most were ignored.

I used to divide the toys into three groups: top-shelf-box-toys, middle-shelf-box-toys, and toybox toys. (The closet had big shelves.) The toybox toys would be set out in the room where the children could be watched in the morning. They would be picked up by the children and put away at night. After the children got bored with these toys, (about three days later) I would box them up. The bottom shelf toys were given the children; the top shelf toys were moved to the middle shelf; the former toybox toys were put on the top shelf. And you wouldn't believe how happy the children were to see their old friends! Older children would need a different system, but you get the idea.

When they ask for a new toy, ask them to pick one of their old ones for give-away before you provide the new one.

Same with clothing. We all have way to much clothing, and as for our children, they are drowning in clothing. Tell your relatives and friends who give gifts that you would prefer a small cash donation for their college fund, and a nice book or dvd instead of expensive clothes and toys.

Then do a massive purge. Go through each child's bedroom, packing up all out-of-season clothes to launder and give to charity (they will not fit next year). Then, make sure they have no more than three of each of the following:
- T-shirts
- play pants for rough outside play
- play shoes (1 pr for wet, 1 pr for dry, 1 pr for in the house)
- school shirts
- school pants
- sweaters or long-sleeved hoodies
- school shoes

And only one:
- play jacket
- school jacket
- rain coat

Similarly have only three or four changes of socks and underwear. You will be doing laundry every evening anyway. Why have ten little pairs of gotches in their bureau drawers when they only wear one at a time?

You can get along fine with: 1 wearing, 1 in the washing, and 1 in the drawer.

Remember it's not the kids who are fashion conscious at that age; it's the parents.

And never just 'go shopping'. Always have a specific item in mind: your eldest son needs new shoes. Go buy him a pair of shoes. Do not impulse buy, e.g. see a cute T-shirt and pick up one for him, one for his brother, and two more for each of them just because they're cheap.

Anyhow, you get the idea. Once all this stuff is simplified, get the children into a routine. At bedtime, pick to-morrow's school clothes and put to-day's in the laundry basket (in their room). You make their lunches and put them in the fridge.

In the morning after they dress, have them straighten their beds. (Making them neatly is something they'll learn later.) Drop in and check: make sure toys are tidy and soiled clothing is in the laundry basket.

As for adult clothing, the same principles apply. You don't need to have a different outfit for every working day of the month. This only enslaves you. Take a tip from guys. They dress very simply, so if they wear a clean shirt every day and have their pants and jackets cleaned and pressed regularly, they don't need a huge wardrobe. So purge your closets of shoes, handbags, party clothes when you only go to a party twice a year and would get a new dress for each of them anyway, purge till your closets are tidy, and not jammed full (which by the way shortens the life of the clothing).

Same in your kitchen. Get rid - GET RID - of all the bowls and pots and special gadgets for every conceivable purpose. If you must keep special purpose items, keep them in the basement to haul up at Christmas time or when needed. All the items in cabinets should be the ones you use on a daily basis.

Don't over-shop. Train hubs and kids to write down what they need before they are completely out of supplies. Buy only what's on the list. Don't worry, you won't starve. Don't stock up. The credit card interest you have to pay on those wonderful sale or case-lot deals much more than makes up for the tiny savings the supermarket gives you. Do not ever, ever buy something you don't need just because it's on sale. It will only clutter your house, tie up your money, and possibly go bad before you get around to using it.

Supermarkets are run by very smart people. They don't want their shelves cluttered with old stock so they put it on sale. Then you take it home and have to store it for months until you need it. Be as smart as the supermarket people. Don't clutter up your house with stuff you don't need yet. Shop from a list only.

Pictures on the wall are all right if not too crowded. But get rid of all knicknacks and ornaments. All. Have a garage sale and what's left take to charity. They are dusty and give your house a cluttered look and complicate cleaning and tidying. Later, when you have your mind trained in the ways of neatness, and when your husband and children have their acts together, you can put up some simple ornaments. Very few. Very simple. They will look marvellous when properly arranged.

And do discard what you purge. Putting it in storage is only a waste of money. There is a whole new industry now, storage paraphenalia, plastic bins, special vacuum bags, etc., etc., and an explosion in the storage unit rental business because people have way too much stuff; it will eventually just be discarded anyway.
***************************************************************
06-03-06, 11:47 AM
Julia0802
These suggestions are great. I will keep this for a rainy day when I have time to plan and implement. With working full-time (and then some) I feel like all I would be doing is cleaning, organizing, purging when I'm not working. If I take a little time for me or do family recreational stuff, there is simply no time left. Just keeping the kitchen under control and the laundry moving takes up the spare time I DO have! (and the kids help with both of these things as well.) I guess I could try giving up sleeping! (:
***************************************************************
06-03-06, 11:55 AM
babthrower
LOL! I do understand, raised three while working full time. Goodness gracious, I do get carried away, don't I? Big Grin

I didn't mean do this all at once! Just make a list and post it with a fridge magnet and plug away at it.

Also I still do this one, even though I'm retired and there's only myself and hubs to worry about.

During television commercials I have a task handy, e.g. sort receipts for income tax or some such. It's absolutely amazing what you can do in those five-minute breaks. Also go dust a few things, or fold a load of laundry, that sort of thing. And getting up and down and walking around keeps one from being a couch-potato, too, if one watches too much TV, as I do!

Maybe carry a whole bureau drawer into the TV room and sort it into 'keep' or 'rag box' during commercials. In a week you'll have done a whole bedroom!
***************************************************************
06-03-06, 12:58 PM
clarebear
I think cleaning can become very overwhelming if it piles up too much. I completely understand just not feeling like it or not having that innate instinct to be domestic. Housework sucks. Thats a fact. The only way you can get a grip on the house is to to just a little bit each day. If you let it go, then you are pretty much doubled up and doomed for the next day. Laundry never seems to end. I always say if I get really depressed then I will just pile up all my clothes in a corner and jump! LOL Ok, so what do you do? You have to find some way to get a grip on the situation. Have you considered paying the house cleaner $35.00 for half the time at twice a month? A good cleaning once a month just gets it livable again. You need a better plan. While she is cleaning, you could help clean too and get better results more often. Ask the house cleaner for suggestions on how other people keep their houses tidy. She would know some of the best tricks that others use. I think now is a perfect time to get your kids involved in the cleaning. If you don't start them young, they will just be teenage slobs. Trust me on this one! Roll Eyes Sit down with the family and start a clean up after yourself rule. This is probably half of your problem. Toys get left out, clothes end up on the floor, papers aren't put away and dishes pile up. Kids work really well on the reward system. Start by having your kids do small tasks such as feed one of the animals or take the garbage outside in the can and replace the bags. Every little bit counts. You could have one vacuum (they love that!) or arm one with a rag and some windex. Make it a group effort or make Saturday from 1-2 cleaning hour. Make a cleaning checklist and hang it up in your kitchen. You would be surprised how just a little help and motivation can make a huge difference. You too need to put things away after you use them. I know its hard and don't lie and say you do. Wink I know better. (I have the same problem) Like I said earlier, cleaning sucks but it has to be done. Open the shades, turn on some fun music, light a few candles and get to work. You will feel soooo good when you do. Clean Sweep has lots of good cleaning tips. Check it out. Smile
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 11:20 AM
Julia0802
The kids have daily tasks during the week; they unload the clean dishes from the d/w, and hubby loads it up every morning. On the weekend, I take care of that since they help so much during the week. The kids fold laundry too, but I still do a whole lot of that. Hubby grocery shops weekly. There is overwhelming clutter and papers - junk mail, important mail. I am keeping all my mail because I don't want to throw it away due to risks of identity theft. I haven't decided the best way to get rid of it and hubby doesn't want me to overtax his shredder! There are way too many items of clothing like Babthrower said. But my 10 yr. old son is suddenly very fashion conscience and can't get enough. I can use some of these ideas for sure. But I don't watch a lot of TV and when I do, I usually pre-recorded it and fast forward through the commercials. Can't sit and watch a show like '24' with young kids around. The only thing we watch as a family is Survivor or Extreme Makeover - Home edition (I know - I'm supporting the reality shows - oh well . .. )
I sometimes think part of the problem is these skills to keep a house neat weren't taught, or since I was the youngest, my siblings were taught and my mom simply had no more time to teach me. Today, I'm just so tired . . . can't imagine working hard as I am recovering from a stressful work week, and it's is 95 degrees - lounging weather. (I rarely sit around tho').
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 11:47 AM
Sherasi
Shredders are NOT that expensive.. go get yourself your own cross-cut heavy duty shredder. We have one that even shreds credit cards and CD disks.

You only need to shred those parts of the mail that have personal information on it.. just remove that part and discard the rest in the trash. That will save 'wear' on your shredder.

There are a lot of really good ideas presented here. Another thing I do is I get boxes with the name of each person on them.. and when I find something out of place, I put that item in the box with the name of the owner. If they want that item THEY need to put that stuff away and get it themselves.

At any rate, let us know how things are working out. Smile
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 01:10 PM
babthrower

quote:
But my 10 yr. old son is suddenly very fashion conscience and can't get enough.


Forgive me, but we also indulge our kids way too much. We ply 'em with junk food to keep 'em quiet; we let them watch way too much TV, same reason, and they get fat, which sets 'em up for self-esteem problems, because, duh, the TV stars and music are all lean and sexy-looking, and the kids watch a lot of TV and must have the latest music videos !

You can teach your kids to value a simple lifestyle, starting with saying 'no' to too much clothing.

Either that or prepare for a whole lot more stress in your life, because you're going to need to work longer hours or get a better job so you can buy a bigger house, if you want a neat home.

It sounds as if the whole family spends a lot of time slaving away on looking after possessions. Think of a third world kid: probably only has one outfit, no TV, no iPod, no massive collection of clothes and toys, no obesity problem -- all he's really like is a little more food and to have his hepatitis treated. He spends his free time playing in the street with sticks and rocks, but his laughter is joyous. His mom is cooking some beans and cornmeal flatbread for supper, and after she'll brush up the crumbs and draw some water from the well so they can have a refreshing splash before bedtime. No toys to pick up, no laundry to fold, no vacuuming to do.

Why can't we move from simple poverty to simple comfort, without overconsuming and making ourselves stressed-out slaves to our stuff? Eek
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 02:30 PM
Sherasi
Well, this subject was discussed in "The Good Earth" by Pearl Buck . I don't think SHE found a 'cure' for prosperity either. Frown
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 02:44 PM
DvdGStwrt
1. Everything has a place, everything must be returned to that place/put in that place once you are through using it/getting it.

EX: Daily newspaper is tossed in the recycling bin after being read. Toys go back into their box before moving on to the next toy. Dirty clothes go into the hamper. Dirty dishes into sink or dishwasher ASAP. We have a Bills Box – a strawberry flat which I wrapped in nice paper – all of the bills get thrown into that and await bill paying day.

2. Once a year (at least) take a weekend (schedule it if needed) and go through everything and get rid of stuff. Danny has to pry my hands off of "stuff" that I insist will be used - if it hasn't been used in a year it’s not needed. His thing is clothing I have to pry outfits from his hands.

3. Schedule in chores. Around here Wednesdays, Fridays and Sunday's are vacuum the floor days. Saturdays are mow days, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays are change the sheets days. By breaking down things into small chunks over a period of time (Mop the Kitchen floor Tuesday, Mop the Bathroom Friday, etc) takes the punch out of the huge single day cleaning project. Friday after noon is my big house cleaning day. It is in my appointment book, it is the dreaded chore which I must do (It is scheduled you see). Dusting, moping, organizing, blah. I pick a room every Friday to pay closer attention too. Last Friday was the Bedroom that means pulling out the dresser, moving the bed to clean underneath, turning the mattress, blah. Next Friday is the Study, move the desk, vacuum the Computer equipment (the dust build up around vents). When I roll around to the kitchen Friday it will be wash the cabinetry, wash the spice rack, clean the refrigerator outside and in. Living room is move the furniture, clean underneath, vacuum the vent holes on the back of the stereo/TV/electronics… you get the idea. Instead of every week moving everything I hit the exposed surfaces with mop, vacuum, broom, etc for most of the house, targeting extra energy/time to one room or a small group of rooms.

4. If a child can walk and take a toy out of the box, then that child can walk and put that toy back into the box. My dog is trained to put her toys back in her toy box/sleeping area (She mostly does put things back in “her space”) - children are a bit brighter than a dog Wink. Make a game out of it, say a half hour before bed play “Hide the toys” where the object of the game is to hide all of the toys (in their box or drawer what ever) before X amount of time passes.

5. List it – Take a break and walk through your home when it is the most untidy. Actually look at what is there, why it is untidy and write it all down.

6. Organize. If the clothes hamper is in the bathroom and the pile of clothes is in the bed room, then maybe its time to move the hamper to the room where the cloths pile up. If necessary get a hamper for each bedroom. If the computer desk area has a lot of printed paper that should actually be in the recycle bin/trash and your tiny office trash bin is over flowing, its time to upgrade to a larger trash bin. Most likely what you really need is a nice box to throw in sheets of printer paper (recycle) which will take the load off the trash bin.

7. When I was 7-8 years old my step mother made a nice poster board ‘Chores List’. Things like take out the trash (daily-worth one gold star/day), clean my room (weekly worth two gold stars/ cleaning) pick up my toys (daily- worth one gold star) before bed. Make my bed in the morning (one blue star) – even doing my homework was listed. If I did a thing without argument I got a Gold star (worth a nickel) If I did a half job I got a Silver star (worth 3 cents) Blue stars were for “easy” things and I got 3 cents for those chores. If I didn’t do a thing or if I argued, cried, made a fuss about a chore I got a RED star which cost me a nickel. At the end of the week we sat there and tallied up the stars (Actually I tallied, addition and subtraction learning basic math in the process Wink).

I got my allowance based on what I had accomplished – I believe there were a couple of weeks were I ended up owing (those blasted RED stars!). Each month a new board went up, during the month we all could see how I was doing. Figure it out: If I took the trash out every day I made a whopping 35 cents for the week – If I fought it and argued I ended up owing 35 cents. There were added incentives – like cleaning my room if I cleaned it more than just once a week I got extra stars – extra allowance. You may need to adjust for inflation, but I think you get the idea. Not only did it have me do my chores, I also learned economics. (I doubt this works with husbands though Wink) As time wore on I got more chores, like vacuuming the house, shoveling snow (oh joys) which got extra money. The older I got the more allowance I could earn.

Poster board and sticky stars can be had nearly everywhere.

8. Laundry. Mondays is Whites, Tuesdays are sheets, Wednesday is darks, and Thursdays are towels… Most of these can be tossed in the washer before you leave the house, tossed in the dryer when you return and folded/hung after dinner in front of the boob-tube. Since we have to do the laundry elsewhere we have that scheduled in for weekends between shopping and mowing the parent’s yard. If you have a washer and dryer break it up over the week – one “laundry day” is a lot of work. Later on as the kids get older teach then how to fold and hang their own cloths. Hubby can learn too. Kids can learn how to use those complex machines like washer and dryer. If you are worried about too much soap being used, make individual packets out of zip lock baggies or have a small set of Tupperware containers for liquid stuff.

9. On my big Cleaning Day (Friday) I slip into something comfortable (old sweat shorts, old t-shirt) load up the CD player, crank the music and dance with the tools of cleaning. I make house cleaning into my aerobics workout, work up the heart rate, and break a sweat blah. I turn a unwanted chore into something “fun”.
***************************************************************
06-04-06, 02:54 PM
babthrower
Sher, thank you for the reminder! Smile I read that book as a child. I'll take it from the library and read it again!

Dvd, love it! You have a neat mind! And like dancing to loud music, as I do! Must try it pushing the vac!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,