I'm interested to know what people's take is on people fostering/adopting children from a different race to themselves.

I mean, I just wish we were all one race/religion/creed etc. and I have no problem with minority groups fostering/adopting majority group kids; but I hear objections to the other way around, saying that a 'majority group' parent can't prepare a 'minority group' child for the prejudices he/she will face.

I'd be especially interested to hear from 'minority groups'.

Thanks
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06-08-02, 06:29 PM
Sherasi
I have no problems with the idea of adopting/fostering a child of an different race from myself. Sagus and I are in the process of becoming foster parents of a Special Needs child. It won't matter to use what type of child we get in that context.

06-08-02, 06:32 PM
hesacat
Oh, Sherasi, that's wonderful! You must be very special to do this.

I wish you, and your new child all the luck and happiness in the world. Keep us posted how it goes...

06-11-02, 06:50 PM
kittypal
There are so many unwanted children and so many families that want a child that it shouldn't matter if a black family adopts a white child or white adopting black. Why doesn't anyone really make an issue of whires adopting Asians or children from Russia? We all come from different cultures at some point, so why let a child sit in an orphanage when they can have a loving home. wink confused

06-13-02, 09:24 AM
AbbieNormal
I'm minority (black) and I don't see anything wrong with a majority group adopting/fostering a minority child. Love is the most important thing. But I do think that a younger child who doesn't know any better may wonder why his skin tone is not the same as his parents and siblings. I think that the parents should take the time to explain to the child that they love him and that skin tone doesn't matter in a family. And as the child gets older they should explain to the child what racism is and how some people may not like him because of his skin tone or ethnicity. (because lets face it, racist feelings are still very stong in some parts of the world). Also, Majority parents need to realize and accept that they may be criticized by racist members of their race. If they are strong enough to withstand this, I think that they will do just find raising a minority child.

BTW...for adoption, Did you know that minorities over the age of one are considered special needs children? Also, for a domistic adoption it cost about $15,000 for a caucasian baby and $8,000 for a minority baby? Why is that? Isn't one baby just as wonderful as the next? Why is there such a difference in the price?

06-13-02, 10:22 AM
Elexina
I think that love is the important thing, not race (and certainly not sexual preference, while we're on this topic). There are so many kids out there that need good homes, as long as SOMEone is willing to care for them (and I mean someone responsible and mature who will give them a good environment, etc.), it shouldn't matter whether they are black, white, purple or green. People are people.
I do see the other side of the coin, though. Whether we like it or not there is a culture and identity associated with our race (that's part of what makes our country so neat) and, as AbbieNormal said, it might be hard for a small child to understand why he looks different from his parents and siblings. Children can also be cruel and may tease the child for that. But if the family is strong and loving, that can be overcome.
As to culture, I think that is important as well. I think that if a black child is adopted by a white family, the family should be sure to teach aspects of the childs' racial culture. For example, my neighbor adopted a little girl from China, and part of the adoption agreement was that my neighbor had to make Charlotte (the baby) aware of her ancestry and heritage, to keep her in touch with her Chinese roots. Charlotte knows that she is Chinese, not Caucasian like her mother, and she knows that her mother loves her more than anything. She understands that this is her family and her country, but also has a deep respect for her original homeland and culture. I think that *that* is important as well.
Bottom line, though: if you can take care of a child and want to adopt, you should be able to, no matter what color you all are.

06-13-02, 04:38 PM
kittypal
Although this is a little off the subject...I guess I'm a little amazed that racism exists to the extent that it does, I must be sheltered because I really thought that people were making more of it than there was, but I was wrong. I met this man who I thought was nice until his child told me she couldn't play with the girl next door, when I asked why not, she said because his parents were doing something wrong...he was black and she was white, I couldn't believe that a person who I thought seemed so normal and nice had views like this, it made me wonder how many of my friends and co-workers also thought like this. Very sad to teach your kids these things. Do black people have the same narrow views or is it us whites mostly? Will it ever change, can we ever just like people or dislike people for the way they behave and not because of the way they look or the religion they practice? frown

06-13-02, 08:45 PM
DvdGStwrt
I fail to see the problem myself, though I know many bigots who would find fault here.

I'm white and gay and male - if any of those are a minority please let me know wink

As far as I can tell we all bleed red, we are all the same color on the inside.

Note, it is the bigots and the ignorant who place importance on skin color, race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, on and on the list goes.

Problem is, there is a majority of ignorant cusses out there.

Having heard the term 'zebra' used to define one of my best friends way too often caused me to start shouting "Bigot!" right back when cultural/racial - all those types of slurs are used.

I am usually answered with a red face - either anger or shame for being found out. Doesn't matter to me which, I am satisfied that the message came through loud and clear

I know that doesn't answer your question - yet.

The child will suffer the slings and arrows of those darn ole bigots - Sorry, but expect if if you adopt 'outside your kind' as those bigots would say.

Love can and will overcome this bigotry. Remind the child of that love daily, and tell that child that you do not see a color of skin, but you see a real person a human being. And tell the story of the Bigot where they come from, why they are the way they are and explain that they can not help it.

In my mind adoption is one of the greatest acts of love a person can perform, imagine taking on someone's child, a stranger's child most often, and taking all that responcibility on oneself, providing and caring and loving that child as their own - no act of humanity compares to that one.

Cheers

David <><

06-23-02, 06:15 PM
dogspit
I have learned a philosophy that has helped me in life, race is so irrelevant. In every walk of life regardless of color, creed, gender, sexual identity, or whatever...the percentage of decent people and the percentage of "dirtbags" is exactly the same. If my destiny lies with a person of "color", then bring it on, I rejoice in real friendships with all kinds of people. Life is too
short to spend all of your time building walls...spend a little while finding common ground instead.

06-26-02, 08:23 AM
Susan
Smile

06-27-02, 12:58 AM
mahal
I think this is a good idea for the children in that they will grow up thinking that mixing colors/races is normal and may have a better sense of equality.

Seems there will come the questions: "Why are you so pale and I'm so dark?" or something like that. Best to just tell the truth.

07-01-02, 01:25 PM
Katanya2000
My fiancee's brother's wife had a child from a previous relationship. The woman is white, but her child is predominantly african american. I have to say I feel really sorry for the girl.

One of the reasons is because her mother is not used to dealing with hair like her daughter's and hasn't made the effort to learn. She usually just pushes it all into a wad on top of the girl's head, it looks really sad.

The other problem is that the girl's white family treat her differently because she's not like them. My fiancee's mother's reaction to her is TOTALLY different compared to her other grandkids.

Her father isn't around, so she has no one to learn the other part of her culture from. I feel that she's deprived because she doesn't have a family who will be equipped to teach her SIMPLE things about herself...

07-15-02, 08:22 AM
twinhearts
I don't think it should even be an issue. A couple of different race can have a child and it isn't an issue. My aunt (white) is raising her child alone (his father is black). There have been a few issues but none that they haven't been able to get through. One of the important things she does though, is to make sure he knows of his African American origin.
I think that if a child is going to be loved by a family, race shouldn't even enter the picture.

07-31-02, 11:30 AM
Kendor

quote:Originally posted by AbbieNormal:

Did you know that minorities over the age of one are considered special needs children?


So you are saying that all black people are 'special needs' people?! What, are you married to Jessie Jackson?

08-24-02, 10:15 AM
hesacat
I'm in agreement with the essence of what most of you say: Love is the key.

08-24-02, 09:17 PM
honilov
if a person has enough love in their heart to adopt a child, it shouldn't matter what color the child is. i don't know why the blacks are considered as minority, because people are people, regardless. do you ever wonder why there are so many light-colored black people? well, it goes back to slavery when the white men would rape the black women, and they became pregnant. a lot of whites are related to blacks and don't even know it. so, come on, and let's all be as one. let's love everyone because who knows, you my be related to the one that you hate.

08-25-02, 12:34 AM
babthrower
Kendor, I think Abbie's point was that non-white children have a harder time being placed. This may well reflect economic differences. To adopt, one has to have a certain level of economic security.

Personally I think that attitude is wrong. Couples wanting to adopt should be able to do so even if they are not terribly well-fixed financially, because I believe that a loving home (rather than a series of foster homes) is what's most important. It could be simple: a stay-at-home parent and the second parent who has had a job for at least two years, both without a criminal record, and addiction-free, sounds sensible to me.

I wonder if social workers are represented here, and if they would post their opinions.

08-30-02, 09:38 AM
Ruthann
Love to me knows not a race, an age, or any limitation. If you are willing to love a child then the color of their skin is not a factor. Stating the obvious is to say that a child will face difficulty in the way that they are perceived by outsiders (when they are raised by a different race). If you can instill the true meanings of love, equality, and acceptance in that child it will be easier for them to face such trials.

I was raised to accept, not to judge, and will raise my little ones the same way.

08-31-02, 11:08 PM
displacedNYer
I'm white. I would have no problem loving and rasing a child of a different race, but I have no illusions that it would be easy. Although I myself have no problem with it, other people do, and some people have no compunctions about sharing it.

10-15-02, 11:57 PM
kdp333
There are so many kids that are Black, White, Chinese, Mexican, the list goes on. These kids are all lonely, abandoned, scared, needing love, guidance, education, the list goes on.
What does it matter what color they are while there are so many of their needs going unmet?
If you can adopt, foster care, go for it! I thank God for those who can.
I am dealing with physical disabilities that keeps me from being a parent, but if it were possible and my husband was for it, I'd be right there waiting for whatever child we'd be given to care for! smile

10-18-02, 05:24 PM
nursey63
Race
I do not think their is nothing wrong with adopting a child from a different race. I recently met a lady at my sons school that is Gay and they adopted 3 African-American children. I think it is a great that they were able to do this. I have talk to her about any problems that they have had and she said that at first they had to learn how to care for the sons and daughters hair. Because their is a difference but she said it didn't take long to figure it out. Just like some people have oily hair or dry hair. She says her bigest issue is the Gay issue. Their are so many children out there and if some one wants to adopt why not. Most people who adopt are wanting children and make better parents than those who get pregnant and abuse their child. I am all for letting people adopt from a different race.

10-19-02, 12:31 AM
jejelale
I really believe there is nothing wrong with adopting a child of any backround. White, black, red or yellow. If the child is brought into a loving home and is not show any prejudice, they will grow up to be a loving person. If you teach your child to hate-they will. If you teach your child to love-they will. It really depends on the parent. All that matters is that child feels accepted and loved. What really makes me angry is that people keep having children and don't have the time or patience for them. That is what they need the most! Believe me, if you plan on adopting or fostering a child of any culture, be prepared. It could be a very bumpy ride with alot of twists and turns. But when the ride stops, What a rush!!

10-26-02, 10:18 AM
LVLF
Adoption is a world of it's own. While so many children need families to raise them in a loving, healthy environment, the restrictions placed by the adoption agencies only slows and complicates the process.
If their goal is to place children within their own racial or cultural groups, for whatever reasons, why do they make it so difficult for, say an American Indian family to adopt an American Indian child? Here is the catch. The agencies are adamant that it is very important to place a Native American child with a Native American family, although it is seldom done. The agencies have claimed that because of the high rate of alcoholism in Native Americans, or the potential of alcoholism, they are reluctant to place children in those families,and they don't want to place them with white or African American families, so the children remain in foster care. My sister, who worked in the Native American community for several years can attest that there are a multitude of families in that community that are more than qualified to adopt but are denied.
The same rings true for other races and cultures, for various reasons.
The agencies feel they have the child's best interest at heart, yet they are willing to place a child from one race or culture with a family of entirely different race who has little or no knowledge or understanding of that child's heritage. That doesn't mean that they won't love and cherish their adopted child as they would a biological child, but it does mean that there are families who are being denied that same chance to love and cherish a child, to watch them grow, see them through school and collage and all the trials and tribulations along they way, simply because they don't meet the standards that are in many cases set entirely too high. It is a very prejudicial system and somewhere between the families and the agencies too many children get lost in the foster care system, where if all the foster care parents could be like Sherasi and Sagus will be, we could take comfort in knowing that the children would never lack the love and family they need.

11-03-02, 10:25 AM
jusork
To some, marrying or adopting another race is strange and takes some getting used to. It’s just more different than the norm. But it will be great when nobody sees these differences. Time will help that.

11-07-02, 01:42 AM
SeattleRon
but we are all from the same race, the human race.
you cut a black man a mexican man, a white man, or an asian man, whats happens? we all bleed the same color blood.
we all got two arms two legs and one brain, there really shouldn't be a problem with diffrent races adopting someone who isn't their race.
What does it really mean to "Act black?" or for someone to say hey man your not being asian enough, embrace your culuture more. why is it to sing country ya gotta be white, or to rap ya gotta be black?
It makes no sense...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,