How old do you think is the right age to start having children?
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09-17-02, 12:25 AM
MrSensitive
don't even think people should get married until the age of 30-35, after the man has his career already established, a savings account, a good credit rating and enough in the bank to buy a home, an engagement ring and a 2-year buffer.
Once he has all that, then he can go out and pursue the woman of his choice- one that will augment his life, provide a warm home for himself and his family.
And the woman should wait until such a man comes along.

Unfortunately, eagerness for love, attention and the "american dream" tends to destroy this arrangement.

Mr(look out for #1)Sensitive

09-17-02, 08:16 AM
displacedNYer
Just curious - if the man spends until his thirties working and stuff and then goes out in search of a wife, what exactly should she be doing until her thirties? Working also, perhaps?
09-17-02, 11:12 AM
MrSensitive
Working on her career, saving money, building security, etc... Same as the man.

Because no woman (or man) should be in a position of need and vulnerability. It makes them desperate and makes them settle for less.
What's attractive about that? smile

Mr(lose the flooz)Sensitive

09-17-02, 12:01 PM
displacedNYer
Hopefully someone who isn't working and is needy and stuff would find someone who would tell them to get the lead out!!

09-17-02, 12:04 PM
samantha
I agree with you here Mr Sensitive that would be the ideal situation in life. But, things are not always ideal. Anyway, I think if your settled and ready for kids to have them young. Before you get old and cranky...I personally never want children.

09-18-02, 03:54 AM
Jelp01
I waited until I was almost 42---and my wife 43----before we were married. And, since I decided by then I was too old and crabby big grin to have kids, it worked out perfectly as my wife can't have them. Were we ten years younger, maybe, but it would be too hard now to start a family.

09-18-02, 10:07 AM
displacedNYer
Jelp - my parents were 17/19 when they had my sister, 24/26 when they had me, and 36/38 when they had my little sister (same parents, totally unplanned - obviously!!). They tried every age, and they said it wasn't any easier no matter what the age. So if you are grumpy its probably good you decided not to have kids big grin ! (Just kidding)

09-19-02, 07:21 AM
Jelp01
Actually, NYer, I seriously think it's a good idea too. At my age, it would be far too hard to play horsey when the horsey would get tired, sore, and stubborn within just a few minutes of playing! At this point in life, the best kind of kids are someone else's.........you can send them home or go home from them! All this despite the fact my grandparents were 45 and 44 when my uncle was born. They had help, though....my mom was eleven and was old enough to be a big help in raising him through his early years.

09-22-02, 12:15 PM
MrsS
I don't think there is a "right" time...some couples are ready and able at 20...others much later,and each situation offers its own set of advantages and difficulties. A few examples: A couple who decides on early parenthood will likely face greater economic challenges, and the couple who wait until they are financially secure may find it more difficult to adapt to the demands of parenthood because they have a more set lifestyle...the couple who opt for a late 30's/early 40's pregnancy often face a much harder time conceiving and a somewhat riskier pregnancy.
With all the variables, I think generalizing is not possible.

09-23-02, 07:16 AM
Wildflower63
Since I think it should be illegal to marry under the age of 30, anytime after that should be ok. I think families should be planned or at the very least be conceived in marriage. Kids need parents. It's a tough road being a single parent. I had my oldest at 23 without an education. Brilliant by today's standards!

When I grew up, moms stayed at home and raised kids. Things changed. I was totally unprepared for this. I pound it into my daughter's head to have enough education and job experience that she could support her children by herself if she ever had to. It's hard enough being a single parent. Raising a child on minimum wage makes life even more difficult.

09-24-02, 07:03 AM
BlueIce63
What exactly does "right" mean anyway. Some 20 yr. olds are more responsible and mature than some 30 yr. olds in some cases. If there has to be an answer to this question, overall I would say that no one should consider marriage and or children until a minimum age of 25.

09-24-02, 11:04 AM
Pin~Jinx
I am glad to note that the general trend is that
one shouldn't get married till stable in life, i.e. till atleast 25.

I pretty much have similar views as MrSense and W63. I mean, in order to be able to enjoy life to it's full, one has to try to make the most from it

and by planning it out sensibly, attaining the 'ideal' situation can be possible.

Mr.Sensitive's

quote:Because no woman (or man) should be in a position of need and vulnerability. It makes them desperate and makes them settle for less.
What's attractive about that?



I think this quite clearly pinns the point.
Afterall, we do dream to be successful, right?

09-24-02, 03:50 PM
PerfectPeach
I do not believe age should be labeled on ANYTHING!!
If you are graduated from high school and hopefully college as well
If you are married
If you have a roof over your head
If you have food on your table
If you have clothes on your back
If you are able to supply the physical necessities a baby will need
If you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a child
If you are ready to share an incredible bond (parent/child)

I believe these are the things that are important to having a child...

09-27-02, 02:49 AM
Wildflower63
I don't necessarily thing age or maturity is the big issue with having children in your early 20's. I did it. Life was much harder than it had to be though. We were definitely among the working poor. I didn't want to life my entire life that way. I got an education after having my children. It was very stressful and difficult. I am concerned about the life of the family due to today's economy.

Some people just aren't ready to go to college or even know what they want to do career wise out of high school (that includes myself). You need time to figure out what direction you want to go. Once you figure that out, there is the matter of education to put yourself in the position of attaining employment that will allow you to pursue opportunities beyond minimum wage work.

It takes a lot of money to raise a child and someone has to be there to care for it. It takes time to educate yourself. It takes time to establish yourself in your career. It takes time to save enough money to get into adequate housing to raise a child.

It's about money, not age necessarily. Start adding up the years this takes. The days are gone when you could get a good job out of high school and start a family unless you get really lucky. This puts you roughly at the age of 30 before you actually afford to have a child without living in poverty over it. It takes quite a few more years than you would think to get adequately educated, and establish yourself as an independent financially functional person.

It's a tough world out there! You have to do serious planning to attain what you want out of life.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,