I have seen adult couples who over-protect the elderly in their families. Grandmother may carry nothing heavier than her purse. Someone must always be home in case the elderly person wants or something, or becomes ill, or just needs company.

The elderly complain about insomnia, are taken to a doctor, who prescribes sleeping pills. Then the patient is so dopey in the morning he/she can't get up till 11 A.M., and complains of feeling tired. So rests and naps all day, then complains that night of being unable to sleep, so takes another pill!

The elderly person is driven everywhere by car. Then, if for some reason he/she must walk a short distance, there is shortness of breath and great fatigue. The muscles are in terrible condition!

Then I think about some of the independent elderly I have know. The cooked and cleaned for themselves, walked out every day and spoke to friends or even spoke with shop-keepers, just chit-chat, but it kept their social skills alive.

They chatted with neighbors while out weeding in the garden. One had a stick with a nail in the end of it, and carried a small trash bag, and walked around the neighborhood picking up candy-wrappers and other things carelessly dropped by people much younger than herself! Then, healthily tired at night, she slept for seven hours straight.

A mentally competent elderly person can be left alone at home. If needed, he/she can call an ambulance. The danger of falls is misunderstood. The problem is likely poor diet, and weakened bones, tendons and muscles. Exercise - even just walking - helps keep bones strong and reflexes good.

It seems to me that if you treat someone like an invalid, they will begin to see themselves that way, too, and will act like an invalid. If they are never left to their own devices, to amuse themselves, they lose the ability to do so, and become passive. This adds to their feeling of weakness and dependency.

But we have an instinct to protect the elderly. I wonder if good intentions can be carried too far?

I absolutely agree.

There have been documented evidence, that a person that retires at 65 or so and then does nothing, tends to die about 10 years later.

Those who remain active, part-time jobs, volunteering, etc live for many years.

The elderly need a reason to live, just like anyone else. People need to feel wanted and useful... otherwise, really, why live?

i am so glad that you mentioned this. i 100 % agree!
i have also noticed that if you pamper your body too much, you will suddenly find that you are weaker than you thought you were. and it´s really a shame because it is often so obvious when an elderly person has become such a creature. a real shame, it´s all downhill from there.

I agree also. Over protection is unhealthy physically and mentally. Keep active as long as possible and recognize when it is time to let go.

After working in a rehab facility, a sedintary lifestyle isn't good. The older you get, the more impact it has right down to nursing home condition. My grandma helped me paint my living room and was laughing because she did it faster than I did. The was in her late 70's at the time. I have to point out that she kept up with me because she missed some spots!

people who treat the elderly like theyre incompetent make me mad. my grandparents are both over 80, live in a dulpex (they finally gave up farming and moved to town when they were 76), do their own shopping (and sometimes grandma does mine ), walk their 4! dogs 5 times every day, and are more active than a lot of people my age i know. my granpa volunteers at the local museum doing handy man work, and he gets mad if you do any home repairs and dont ask him to help. and these 2 are over 80! i am considering telling my grandpa to enter the seniors games being held this summer. it will get him out of grandmas hair for a few days