Throughout my life I've had dreams, from time to time, which later come true. It's not perfect or 100% accurate by any means, but I've had dreams that later I look back on and get kind of a chill, realizing that I've dreamt about a certain occurrence well before (sometimes years before) it happened. I don't know which dreams are going to turn out to be this sort while I'm having them, however, only once the event has actually occurred.

Night before last I had a very disturbing and realistic dream about one of my husbands' friends. This person is a heavy smoker and a raging alcoholic, and I dreamt that suddenly out of nowhere he was dead of face cancer. Now, I know that many of the things going on in my life and things that had happened the day before affected certain aspects of the dream, but regardless I am left feeling very unsettled. I woke up shaking and actually broke down, shed a few tears, it was that upsetting.

My question is this: knowing what I do about the slim possibility of my dreams coming true from time to time and taking into account the upset with which I am left, do I have an obligation to inform him of my dream? Or do I just leave it alone and hope that it doesn't come to pass?
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09-18-06, 11:45 AM
VelvetVoice
In my opinion, you are under no obligation to inform him of your dream. A heavy smoker knows that cancer is on his horizon, the medical proof has been known for decades. And an alcoholic will not likely change his behavior on your advice. I hope he is single and has no kids, because if there was any reason for a lifestyle change, only they can influence it. Also, the retelling of such a dream will probably cause you more upset than him, so there really is no point.

On the other hand, if it was something specific, like "I saw someone trying to run you down in a car on Main street" or "the Grim Reaper told me to tell you 'hello'in the marketplace", that would be different. There is a short story about Death, I have to look it up and post it. You can't outrun Death.
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09-18-06, 11:54 AM
DorianGreyed
"There is a short story about Death, I have to look it up and post it. You can't outrun Death."

That sounds like the source for an early "Twilight Zone" titled "Going My Way", about a woman who repeatedly sees the same hitchhiker when travelling alone on a long journer. Of course course, the hitchhiker is Death. (Note: The link gives a link to hear the Mercury Theatre of the Air radio play starring Orson Welles as the driver. Those who have never heard Welles in a serious dramatic role and those who don't understand how radio plays were so gripping are encouraged to listen.)
----
Later - I see I got the title wrong. Mine is better, however.

Going my way?
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09-18-06, 01:08 PM
juanruiz

quote:
That sounds like the source for an early "Twilight Zone"

This was a leitmotiv for several TZ episodes, including one in which Robert Redford was Death, and another where Ed Wynn had to outfox Death.
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09-18-06, 01:12 PM
VelvetVoice
This is the story I was talking about. I'm not sure who wrote it. I got it from a website that said this was an old legend. I love short stories, they really pack a punch.

Appointment in Samarra

...Long ago, a wealthy merchant in Baghdad was awakened by a neighbor pounding on his door at dawn and pleading to borrow a fast horse. "I was in the marketplace," the neighbor gasped, "and I saw Death there, and he stared at me with such a look! Give me a horse, and I'll go hide with my family in Samarra!" The merchant willingly lent him a fast horse, and the neighbor rode away in a panic. Later that day, the merchant himself encountered Death in the marketplace and went up to him and demanded to know why Death was behaving in such an undignified fashion, making faces at his neighbor. "My apologies," Death said. "It was only the sudden surprise. I just hadn't expected to see your neighbor. There he was, here in the Baghdad marketplace, and I have an appointment with him in Samarra this evening..."
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09-18-06, 02:10 PM
Georgia85
Elexina, how would you feel if years later this man died from cancer that if it had been caught early could have been treated?

Obligation is a strong word. But I look at it as a courtesy to contact someone after you have had such a stong dream or feeling about them. I know I always do and while I might never give out specifics I will sort of direct them to check up on things. In your case I might just tell this person that I can't shake this unnerving feeling and at his next physical suggest he request from the doctor a full examination of the tongue, throat, and lymph nodes in the neck.
Just a suggestion.
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09-19-06, 04:00 AM
tsaeb
One old solution is to write one of those anonymous letters, stating very briefly that you had a dream that he died of x and that you wonder when he was last checked out for any possibility of x. After you mail the letter, you transfer the responsibility to the man and get quite a chuckle imagining his reaction. Why, it might be enough to either sober him up or set him to smoking and drinking some more. Maybe he smokes and drink to excess, because he gets such letters on a weekly basis.
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09-19-06, 08:34 AM
Elexina

quote:
Originally posted by tsaeb: ...and get quite a chuckle imagining his reaction.

An interesting suggestion. If I'm going to tell him at all, though, I would just tell him and not hide behind some ruse.
Though, I doubt I would have any reason to "get quite a chuckle." The situation is not quite so frivilous.

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts.
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09-26-06, 01:55 PM
Elexina
Update: in case anyone was at all curious... The person in question was at our house on Friday so I happened to mention to him that he really ought to quit smoking and then I worked my dream in, and then I summed it up with the dream I had about my cousin years ago, and my husband backed me up, so I think he took it seriously. And later that night he stood up and walked toward the door to go smoke, and I said, "you really shouldn't do that" and he said "you're right" and sat back down.
He wants to quit, he just has to get it together and do it. But I feel a lot better now, having told him. Now it's on his head -or face, as the case may be.
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09-27-06, 02:42 PM
Georgia85
I'm glad you spoke up Elexina. You've done all you can now Smile
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09-29-06, 05:48 AM
tsaeb
Elexina: Good girl.
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09-29-06, 01:41 PM
Elexina

quote:
Originally posted by tsaeb:
Elexina: Good girl.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. And I'm not sure why you're praising me when I didn't take your advice -either in the letter or the chuckle. But thank you. Knowing that I have your approval just makes it all worth it. Roll Eyes

Again, thank you all for your thoughts on this. It really quite disturbed me.
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09-30-06, 03:26 AM
tsaeb
Elexina: I knew that you would do what you did do. What you consider to be my advice is merely my move in the opposite direction of the one which I believed you would take so that you would make your move all the more quickly and deliberately for your peace of mind. In short, I trusted your decision-making skills and courage in this matter; it was your timing and application which needed a little nudge. Yes, I am continuing to use in this response my imagination regarding how you think and act.

Yet, there are those who read what you thought was my advice for you, and they will remember it for themselves, if they ever have a similar dream, because they are horses of a different color. It's different strokes for different folks.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tsaeb, 09-30-06 03:42 AM
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10-02-06, 08:11 AM
Elexina
I... I am without words, Tsaeb.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,