on Jan 11 2005 i lost my oldest brother he was 40, a massive heart attack. he was 5 yrs older than i am. when we were teenagers we were close. he moved later to south carolina, we lost touch i hate to say that cause we are brother and sis and no matter what happens you should always have them near to your heart, i realize that now. i spoke to him a few times in the last 6yrs he lived out of state. but on jan 11 i gt the dreaded call that he had passed on, this was very hard for me and still is... i loved my brother. u expect to bury your parents,grand parents and eventually maybe your brother and sisters but you expect to be somewhat older, anyway i buried my brother at the age of 40. several weeks ago i began dreaming of him, in my dreams its like he isnt dead its like whats going on in my real life (which he is dead) is the dream and my dream is the reality(where he is alive) i hope that makes sence to you guys, each time i have this dream i have to wake up to the hurt of loosing him all over again, i dont understand this cause i know no matter what my brother would not want me to hurt over and over like this. so he has to be trying to tell me something. right?
but what. i have searched online and everywhere on what this could mean but have not come up with a answer. my husband says its because its so close to his 1st anniversary of his death. but i dont buy that can someone help me out.
JoAnn

My mother used to say (for what reason, I do not know) that when she dreamed about her husband (my father, who was already deceased) that it was because she needed protecting from someone or something, and so he had appeared in her dream to protect her. She thought of him in life as her protector.

I bet that if you think about what your brother is doing in your dreams, he is doing what he did for you in life. So it seems that you are dreaming about him to fill your current void, as he used to do what you needed him to do in your life when he was alive. You feel hurt, because, as you wrote, he is not doing it now in your life.

Try to think of your brother's presence in your dreams as reassuring instead of hurtful.

We often dream of loved ones that are separated from us, either by distance or by death. I dream of my grandfather every so often as if he were still alive, and I didn't even care for him very much. It is completely understandable that you would dream of your brother in this manner. You wish he had not been taken from you, and that wish is granted in your dreams. Your dreams are a way of keeping him alive in your memory. And whether you realize it consciously or not, it is likely that the anniversary of his death has contributed to the onset and frequency of these dreams.
Don't worry, JoAnn. It is not unusual. I know it's not easy to have these sorts of dreams, I know it hurts, but perhaps there is a message there.
Have you tried guided meditation? Perhaps in a more controlled less dreamlike environment you could more easily communicate and receive whatever message he wishes you to have?

hi, thanks you guys for answering me, what exactly is guided meditation? Is it sorta like try9ing to let go everything and trying to relax? i went to visit his grave and this was the first time i have been there since his funeral i never could bring myself to go before, but i went and i really broke down and cried alot. i think i gt alot of my fustrations out cause i did feel alittle bit better when i left. But i think maybe in away tsaeb could also be right i mean tsaeb sd that he may be trying to protect me like always when we were younger, i am having some prroblems with my x over the kids i know that my brother would not have liked that and maybe he is trying to make me feel better about it. a friend told me that she felt it was his way of telling me to grieve and let go, so that maybe he can go on, she says that he may not want to go on as long as he knows im still trying to hold on to him.
but i have tried to go on and am able to go on with my usual everyday things i should do, but as for things that revolve around him i still cant do but i think maybe seeing a counselor or talking about it may also help me. its still very hurtful to think of him as being gone. i was able to do a memorial page for him
here is the link if anyone would like to visit
My Brother thanks for replying, i guess it is something that i must do to go on.it was really hard making this site for him but i did feel better afterward
knowing that now friends and family also had a place to visit him. thank you again
JoAnn

It is a good step that you were able to visit his grave and to make that site. Those are excellent healing techniques.
Guided meditation is where you have someone else guide you, leading you toward a specific goal. If you were in my area I could point you to a number of people who could help you with this meditation, but I am not familiar with the resources in Ohio. If you are interested, however, this site might help you find someone.