I was in Spain some 5 yrs ago working there and living with my Boss and his Family,,as he was very very strict and did not allow any single day holiday in 2 yrs time despite my begging to give a holiday,,so i did a wrong deed,i mean stealing money from his cash,which was my childeshness(i was 19 at that time)and when he came to know,he sent me back to my country and now i am in another country having my small shop with my elder brother,,Problem is i dream a lot about that place where i used to work(Spain) and that house where i used to live with my boss,also i dream about his wife,children and also in my dream i am telling myself that why the bloody hell i had done that wrong deed(stealing money)of which i had to repent till today(although i know it was my childeshness)i mean i dream of apologising to them and take me back with them, i wish i could rewind my life??? why is this so???? Pls any help would be highly appreciated???

We all do things we're ashamed of, and once we have realized something that we did was wrong, the next thing to do is create a good life.

Your Spanish boss also wronged you. Every worker is entitled to their day of rest. Sometimes immigrants are badly used, as you have been, because the boss knows they will not report him/her, and risk deportation. He owed you not only vacation time, but also vacation pay. When he found out, he took his revenge by having you deported. That is why you now owe him nothing.

It is possible you feel a stong emotion - love? - for a member of his family, and you dream of a connection. Put this dream aside. It will not have a good outcome.

Live a clean and honest life from now on, and show your love and loyalty to your family (those that are good and deserving), to your friends, and by being a good citizen.

If you hold on to the guilt that you feel, you could ruin your life. You must let the guilt go.

Thanks a lot babthrower for your suggestions and i really appreciate you for commenting the right values,,but let me be honest with you that i am an Indian and my Boss was also Indian,, i know that i cannot go to that country again(Spain),,but why is this so that after commiting the wrong deed,, i feel apologising to him,,i mean now i feel even if he wanted me to work 8 days also in the week,,i woyld rather prefer that also ,,why is this kind of feeling pls pls advise me,,,

It's that you don't have enough self-esteem. I know we are taught from early childhood not to be conceited and vain; that we should be humble and unassuming. And of course that's good advice.

However some of us go too far in the opposite direction. A person who does not have enough self esteem will be victimized by others.

You should not even think about mending the relationship with this selfish man. There are millions of people in the world, and you should be going toward them to find worthwhile friends. You can walk away from this one man. You deserve a better place in the world than that. If you feel a strong need to help and serve others, that can be channelled in many good ways - good for others and good for you.

If you can't deal with your feelings of guilt and longing, it might be a good thing to talk to a therapist. If that is not possible, e-mail me (see my profile for my e-mail address) and I will send you a self-help book written by someone who understands your feelings and has worked with people who have a similar problem in the past.