Hi damonk. Welcome to AnswerPool.

I think you should have your taxes professionally done this year. Ask your wife's current boss for the name of a good accountant.
If the employer won't ammend the taxes, be sure to ask if they are claiming the $20,000 you gave them as additional income. (They probably aren't). If they won't ammend the form then you will have to figure out how to claim the $20,000 as a loss. You aren't out of luck. You can always call the IRS for free. You did nothing wrong and they are much nicer than their reputation. They are very helpful whenever I call.
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