Politics and Star Wars

President Bush is Han Solo

• Both have a cocksure attitude
  
• Both are cowboys
  
• Both smirk knowingly
  
• Neither one afraid to shoot the bad guys
  
• Hangs around different cultures at Mos Eisley, but doesn't ask their permission to defend himself against Greedo - just like Bush.
  
• Both are pilots

John Kerry is C3PO

• Kerry was in the Vietnam War (in case he forgot to mention it)
  
• C3PO was in the Clone Wars
  
• Both have been around for ages but never really accomplished anything important
  
• Both talk incessantly while others actually get things done
  
• The following quotes, which come from Threepeeo could just as easily come from Kerry - in fact, Kerry has basically said many, if not all, of the following:
  "We'll be destroyed for sure! This is madness! We're doomed."
  
  "Hey! You're not permitted in there!"
  
  "Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in
  there!"
  
  "How did we get into this mess? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to
  suffer. It's our lot in life."
  
  "Where do you think you're going? Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too
  rocky. This way is much easier."
  
  "What mission? What are you talking about? I've just about had enough of you!"
  
  "No more adventures! I'm not going that way."
  
  "Protocol? Why, it's my primary function, sir. I am well versed in all the
  customs."
  
  "It wasn't my fault, sir! Please don't deactivate me! I told him not to go,
  but he's faulty, malfunctioning. Kept babbling on about his mission."
  
  "I suggest a new strategy, R2: Let the wookie win."

Dr. Condoleeza Rice is Princess Leia

• Both are graceful
  
• Both are charming yet tell it like it is
  
• Both are highly intelligent
  
• Both are confident
  
• Both are feminine yet can kick some serious behind if need be

Dick Cheny is Yoda

• Both are elderly
  
• Both are calm under pressure
  
• Both are wise
  
• Both put young know-it-alls in their place

Bush #41 is Obi Wan Kenobi

• Older and wiser
  
• Has already fought an early part of war
  
• Faced Darth in the early days
  
• Helped shape Luke (see below)

Colin Powel is Mace Windu

• Educated
  
• Great Warrior
  
• Member of elite military fellowship
  
• Speaks softly but carries a big light saber

The U.S. Military Solider is Luke Skywalker

• Young & Eager
  
• Noble warriors
  
• Fights the good fight
  
• Goes to far away places to fight the bad guys
  
• Comes through in the end

Ted Kennedy is Jabba the Hutt

• Crooked
  
• Corrupt
  
• Corpulent
  
• Slimy
  
• Both have troll-like followers that do their bidding
  
• Both imprisoned a young woman below the surface

Jimmy Carter is Jar Jar Binks

• No one likes him
  
• Complete failure in everything he does
  
• People look at him in disbelief and say, "Is he for real?!"
  
• Always opening his big mouth and spouting some nonsense when he should just shut up
  
• Should just go away and never come back

Bill Clinton is Darth Vader

• Tried unsuccessfully to subvert Luke (i.e. U.S. Military)
  
• Hides true face behind a mask
  
• Craves power
  
• Makes others feel his pain
  
• Is controlled by the true Emperor (See next item)

Hillary Clinton is Emperor Palpatine

• Evil yet pretends to care
  
• Senators
  
• Used Senate as stepping stone to more power
  
• Always scheming behind the scenes
  
• Pulls the strings on Darth Bill/Vader
  
• The resemblance is uncanny

The UN is the Empire

• Wants to control everything
  
• Oblivious to the suffering of others
  
• Imperial helmets look remarkably like those blue UN helmets

John, you really have to get out in the real world sometime. I know it might be a little scary, but you just have to do it.

Dorian, I second that emotion. I think John has too much free time on his hand.

I'll tell you what, I'll try to get out more often if you all try to lighten up more often. Sound good?

You could start to lighten up now if you like. It's nothing more than a joke. You know, you could join in the fun and plug in references to make your own versions! Something like Bush is R2D2 because he's small and doesn't speak English or Halliburton was given a no bid contract to rebuild the Death Star - something like that? Try joining in the fun more often. You'll find it eases all the hand wringing. That's a joke too. - The reason it is so frustrating hanging around with liberals is not any political differences. It is that they don't know how to have fun! And when you try, you have to constantly explain to them if something was a joke. I guess all those years of PC have dulled their funny bones.

Nice job. Now do Spaceballs.

John, there isn't a person in AP that enjoys humor more than I do. The problem is that it is so hard to tell when your posts are outlandish and meant to be funny, or just outlandish. In the future, if you indicate that there is some humor in one of your posts, I promise to laugh outloud.

This looks like a variant on the once-popular "Bush is a Cowboy" theme. There's no surprise there, of course, as Spielberg et al studied the old style westerns before beginning star wars. Compare, for example, Solo's vest and the way he wears his gun with the costume styles in Westerns of the 1950s, so Bush as Solo is really just the same old thing.

But if you reflect for a moment, Solo was willing to embark on a dangerous undertaking in a good cause, and carry it through to completion, despite the odds. Bush, on the other hand, appears to have abandoned everything he's undertaken well short of completion, whether it's his National
Gaurd service, the attempt to capture bin Laden, or his promise to control carbon dioxide emissions. Yes, I'm sure Bush would like to be perceived as a hero, but he isn't one.

Alan Moore

What raised a smile was the idea that Condoleeza Rice 'tells it like it is'. She recently said that "Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with the actual attacks on America". Nothing.

I take this post as a quiet little admission, finally, that all those other posts of yours about what Czech intelligence said, Salman Pak, and the rest were nonsense.

Tee hee.

Han Solo wasn't afraid to shoot the bad guys. Bush eased up on the bad guys, because Yoda and others wanted to attack some from a different movie. Ho ho.

DG,

I'll be the first to admit that I couldn't make a living doing comedy, but if you were unable to comprehend that the above post was a joke, then I would put one caveat on your belief that there isn't a person in AP that enjoys humor more than you do: You may enjoy it, but you apparently can't recognize it when you see it. (That was a joke.)

AM,

The Western theme you mention is correct. But there is so much more built into the Star Wars saga that helps make it popular. Stereotypes passed down from all previous TV and movie genres:

Cowboy (already mentioned)
Wizard (Obi Won)
Princess (Leia)
Farm boy (Luke)
WWII Dog fights (Between X-Wing and TIE fighters)
Good guys wore White
Bad guys wore Black
Sword fights ala Errol Flynn

All of these things are classics from the early days. And put together they worked very well.

NOTE TO DG: The above short discussion on the varying thematic elements inherent in the original Star Wars trilogy is NOT a joke. This part, however, is. Smile fading...returning to serious mode...NOW!

Weren't the main themes of 'Star Wars' lifted from かくし　とりで　の　さん　あくにん？