Is a condom with sprmicide ok to use inside my girl friend? I hear that it should be used with another verson of spermicide as well with the condom to double the protecton. Any risks with useing spermicide?

If she has or will have her period, her chances that she can get pregnant if the spermicide fails will be higher durring her period then if she was not on her period or a few weeks afterwards?

I think what you have probably heard is that a condom should be used with another form of contraceptive to reduce the chances of an unwanted pregnancy. Many couples use condoms along with birth control pills.

Spermicides are considered safe but there are those rare instances where a woman might have an allergic reaction to it. Of course, some women are also allergic to latex so condoms are also available in plastic (polyurethane) and natural skin (lamb membrane).

And should the condom break and the spermicide fail, chances of pregnancy are higher 11-14 days after the start of her last period. This fluctuates from person to person but she would have to be ovulating in order to get pregnant and 11-14 days after the start of her last period is a general time frame for ovulation.

No form of birth control is 100% safe but you increase the safety by combining 2 forms and the use of condoms also helps reduce the spread of STDs which no other form of birth control can do.

Your girlfriend should see her obgyn and find out which form of contraceptive is best for her. Condoms with spermicide are normally just fine, unless your girlfriend is allergic to it, or to latex. You should be just fine with condoms (though remember, nothing is 100% guaranteed), but if she is going to be sexually active she needs to tell her obgyn.

So how long should I wait until she stops ovulating and her period has ended to have sex and have a safe 'window' to do it with her? After her period is over would be a good time for sex? No eggs in the area so to speak.

Never have sex without using a contraceptive device. There is no “safe window.” Just because most women ovulate at certain times and are less likely to conceive at others does not mean all women are like that. Also, eggs can release spontaneously when you don’t expect it (and are not aware of it, of course).
Any time is a good time for sex, as long as you are protected. If you have had tests done to ensure that disease is not a factor and you are certain of your monogamy, your girlfriend can use a contraceptive device that does not protect against disease. If disease is a concern along with contraception, one of you must wear a condom.

Elexina is absolutely correct - there is never a safe window. Ovulation is a tricky thing, sometimes it happens like clockwork, sometimes it can skip a month, sometimes a woman can ovulate twice a month. To use the "rhythm method" (no birth control at all) is very tricky and the reason for so many unplanned pregnancies.

"Safe period" is the only method of birth control the Roman Catholic church permits. It's called, by Catholics, 'vatican roulette'. And with good reason.

Males are infamous for believing any old wives' tale about ways to practice birth control without using a condom. In fact that immature wish to avoid the loss of sensation caused by a condom is behind most of the unwanted pregnancies and s.t.d.'s going around today.

Get used to using a condom. There's no royal road to birth control.

Both of you should be using birth control, independently. (By tht I mean she should be on the pill, or some such, and you should be using a condom.) Having a child is a 20-year commitment whether you're married or not.

The only time that two people of reproductive age should ever have unprotected sexual contact is when they wish to concieve a child.
You should wrap it up.. EVERY TIME and she should be using another reliable form of contraception such as the pill (patch, ring, shot), the sponge or a diaphram.
There are times when conception is less likely, but for a woman of reproductive age who has not had a tubal ligation, there is no time of the month when conception is not possible.

I believe there have been instances when tubal ligation and vasectomies have failed, or perhaps were imperfectly performed. My daughter was conceived when we were using a diaphragm. The only reliable method of preventing both STD's and unintended procreation is the Nancy Reagan method: "Just Say NO".

Jeeze, Frank, now you sound like the POPE!

No, waitaminnit, he said you should have kids. But if you have a really, really serious reason not to have kids, then your only option is JUST SAY NO! And that doesn't work -- for long.

Ok, I'm aware now that her eggs can be let out and in the area at any time durring sex, but I don't want to do it with her while she is having her period. You think that will interfere in the moment? I might plan a week after her period to do it so she is not in her 'period' moods such as crankyness, not feling good, etc.

Not all women have a "period mood," Doug. If she is on the pill, the likeliness that she would have cramps or bloating or mood swings is greatly lessened, but not all women have that. Men often (forgive my broad generalization) make generalizations about broads and assume that any hint of emotion from a woman is due to "that time of the month," when more likely we are just passionate about something completely unrelated to menstruating.

You can have sex with her while she is on her period, but it may be uncomfortable or messy (or she may wind up with a UTI), so some people avoid it or have other types of contact during those days.

I'm not sure how old you are, but unless you are actually trying to conceive, or working on relationship and intimacy issues, you shouldn't really be "planning" to have sex. You should just let it be spontaneous. You will know if she is in a "good mood" and receptive to your advances.

As I said before, if she is not currently sexually active, she should visit her obgyn (or get one) if you decide to become sexually active, and the doctor can help her decide what forms of protection are best for the situation.

Doug, it sounds like you're saying YOU'LL choose the time for intimacy and I've got harsh news for you... Women hate to feel pushed into physical intimacy. The surest way to avoid sex is to "expect" her to be willing or make her feel like you think that she "should" be ready to be physical at any given time. What you need to do is to urge her to talk to her doctor about what method is best for her, you need to have a supply of quality condoms and make sure you know how to use them properly and then wait for the time to be right for both of you (It is really inportant that she see a trained health care professional for birth control advice. Choosing the right method is not easy and requires careful thought and full information...If she's forgetful, the pill is a bad option but the patch or ring might be suitable... if she's a risky candidate for hormonal methods, then her doc can advise her of other options... the risk factors and reliability of various forms of contraceptive is something that really only her doctor can help her sort out.)

quote:

Originally posted by Doug:
Ok, I'm aware now that her eggs can be let out and in the area at any time durring sex...

Whaaa? Eggs can be released at any time. Period. A significant portion of your little friends at school were probably per-period or post-period babies. There used to be an old-husband's-tale (along with, 'oh, I know when to pull out, all right, trust me', taht the five-day-period before her period and the five-day-period after her period were 'safe-sex' days. We wives discussed these matters as we pushed our laden prams through the mall.

Be aware that these are just crude approximations of vatican roulette.

You are well on your way to early fatherhood, Dougie. Will you be taking the midnite-feeding stint, or will she? If she does, you may find that her 'cranky' periods occur every morning.

Doug, please don't think we're being mean or overly harsh. We just want to make sure you're both protected and not doing something you aren't ready for.

Your original question was:

quote:

Is a condom with sprmicide ok to use inside my girl friend?

I hope that means you do understand the necessity of protection. I think we just really need to hear that you will both be careful and protected if and when you choose to have sex, and that means condoms for you, and another method for her.

...Or there’s always birth control á là Pat Robertson: "Only those with a strong faith in God have children."
So, we could just advise Doug to be an atheist and all would be well!


I’M KIDDING!!!

quote:

Ok, I'm aware now that her eggs can be let out and in the area at any time durring sex, but I don't want to do it with her while she is having her period.

It's not just anytime during sex but up to 72 hours after sex. If your sperm is in the right spot they can survive for up to 72 hours and successfully impregnate an egg. So, REALLY, there isn't a time that is safe.

That is not to say that there isn't a time that she won't get pregnant, but that you can't know when that will be.

Keep the birth control in your control and use condoms if you don't intend to have children with your partner.

quote:

Originally posted by Elexina:
...Or there’s always birth control á là Pat Robertson: "Only those with a strong faith in God have children."

Oh, the money and stress that could be saved if that were true!
(I'm not an atheist, but Robertson's pack probably classes me as one)

The sperm can live up to five days in the woman's reproductive system. Mind you, that sperm is not in great shape, but...

And the egg can be fertilized by sperm anytime during its trip down the fallopian tubes from the egg factory in the ovary (although it doesn't usually implant until it's in the uterus).

So, say they have sex on day x and she does not ovulate until day x + 5. Impregnation can happen.

Say they have sex during her period. The sperm can live 5 days. She may ovulate early in the following month. Women's cycles are not always regular. Impregnation can happen.

Let's say they have sex on day y and she ovulated on day y-3. Sometimes women release more than one egg per cycle, up to 24 hours after the first egg is released. Impregnation can happen.

Let's say they believe that she will ovulate on day 14. That's a statistical average. It can be off by up to two weeks because women don't always have regular periods. Impregnation can happen.

Let's say that she forgot to take her pill one day earlier in the month, and he forgot to buy condoms. So they decide to be extra careful. They don't have full penetration. Women have given birth in cases where the doctor/midwife had to cut the hymen! Impregnation can happen without penetraation.

Then someitmes Mother Nature (who doesn't give a damn about career goals or anything but reproduction) likes it when people get careless or decide that once without a condom won't do any harm. "But doctor, this couldn't be! We only did it ONCE without a condom!" In fact, Mother Nature seems to impair the faculties when a woman is near ovulation, and causes her to believe the silliest things!

So, you see, that's why sensible people don't try to avoid condoms if they really aren't prepared for having a child. They don't even depend on condoms alone. They both use birth control.

As aminator said, you can't know when her fertile time is. That's why people who want to get pregnant, and use the calendars and thermometers and cervical fluid and position tests etc etc can still take months to get pregnant.

And the most famous lovers the Western world have ever known, Romeo and Juliet, would have been snapping at each other and blaming each other had they lived, and had Juliet become pregnant at 14.

I made a sex check list for me and her. I've listed all the things we need and things to do before we do it. I've picked out every thing from what condoms to use and spermicide and mades notes on it of to use both condom and spermicide together and to get birth controll pills and a pregancy test on stand by as a last resort after sex. She did not tell me to make it I did on my own time. I always give her a copy of it so we are on the same page so to speak. I always plan ahead I think I'm the only one with a responceable plan like that with a check list for sex. I got it covered pretty good.