I'm looking into getting and using one of these but I don't know which one to choose nor which one would be right for me and my girl friend to avoild pregancy. Any one herd of these or have used them? If so what did you think of it? Which one do you like best if you have not used them or herd of them? (Not Having sex is not an choice just an FYI)

Ovulation Calculator (http://www.ovulation-calculator.net/?aff...

Femta Ovulation Calendar (http://www.femta.com/)

4 Women Only Ovulation Calender (http://software.techrepublic.com.com/dow...

Cycle Watch Ovulation Calender (http://software.techrepublic.com.com/dow...

I am using an ovulation calculator and OPKs for the opposite reason, to get pregnant. One thing I would say is that they are not a fail safe; they can help you get pregnant, but are less reliable at not getting you pregnant, because an egg can, occasionally, release at an odd time during a cycle. Plus, most of the basic calculators are relaly only useful if the woman has a fairly constant, balanced cycle.

Not having sex is always an option, Doug. However, if you feel very strongly that you are ready to express your feelings in this way, then there are ways to protect yourself and your partner. Remember, you must be protected from disease as well.

In my experience, an ovulation calculator is used for those people who are trying to get pregnant, not for those who wish to avoid it.

A woman’s ovulation can never be fully predicted. Some women ovulate more than once a month, even if they only menstruate once a month. That means you should not use ovulation as a prediction of when it is “safe” to have sex. There is no real true “safe” time to have sex. You must simply be careful and protected.

If you feel that you must have sex with your partner, please do what we all recommended in your Safe with females? thread: have your partner visit her doctor to determine which form of contraception is best for her, and keep a supply of condoms handy.

Be safe, but don’t go overboard. Obsessing about it will only make it mean less.

I can't see why not it would not hurt to try the calcualtor and see if it is correct. We will use condoms and the calculator as well not just the calculator by it's self w/o condoms. I wanted the calculator to be used in case the condom breaks or something goes wrong and if we do it on the day when she is not ovulating than we have a bigger window. I think her body will not like birth control pills. She will get the side effects. She get's sick alot and does not have that great of an immune system.

Doug, it is advisable to use a back-up system, you're right there. And avoiding sex during the most fertile week or so is a pretty decent back-up system to be used with 'the pill', condoms, diaphragm-plus-spermicide, etc., since none of the latter mentioned ones are 100% - not even close.

Failure rates within one year using:

- condom (male) typical use 15% ideal use 2%
- diaphragm (female) typical 16% ideal 6%
- pill and mini-pill typical 8% ideal .3%

(Typical means 'as it works out in real life'; ideal means 'as it is supposed to be used'.)

You sound like an intelligent enough guy, Doug, so you know what to infer from this.

If you are using periodic abstinence (which is what those calculators assist you with) as a backup, as you say, in addition to another good method, it will help prevent unwanted pregnancy.

But what about typical versus ideal use?

The danger would be that within a year, due to substance use or just plain complacency, you would be tempted to skip the condom. That would fall into the 'typical use' category.

Summary.

That's the danger with any variation of the periodic abstinance method, also known as Vatican Roulette. High tech thermometers, calculators, computers, they are just gimmicks. The woman's body can not be so easily predicted within such a broad range of days and hormonal states. If it could, then fertility treatments for those who want a child would be much more reliable than they are.

So better use the condom all the time, whether or not you use periodic abstinance. Or start right now putting away a few bucks every paycheck for the stroller, the crib, the bigger apartment, the toys, the little booties and bonnets, the pets, and the college education. And check if twins run in the family.

Why, thank you, kind sir!

(I'm also quite kindly. Notice I did not mention the dealing with tantrums, Teenage Angst, and the entire subject of homework motivation.)

I think you all are needlessly scaring the boy to death. He obviously is already freaked out.

Doug, use a condom. If you want to be extra- careful, avoid having sex between the 10th-14th day of her cycle, too (that's 10-14 days after she started her period that month). That's not going to guarantee things 100%, but it's a pretty good bet, and about as safe as it gets. Nothing short of abstinence is 100%, so if you're going to have sex anyway, you might as well get used to that, stop obsessing, and, er, enjoy yourself. Be responsible, but no need to get OCD about this.

Just my two cents.

If you have to ask, you can't afford it! IMHO.

And most importantly, how do you think your girlfriend would feel about you wanting her to track her ovulation?

I would be very irritated. Very very irritated.

quote:

Originally posted by aminator2002:
I would be very irritated. Very very irritated.

Yes, the hovering with the thermometer would be a little off-putting. And that's assuming it's an oral thermometer.

Still, one would assume the young lady is not eager for the 2 a.m. feedings and the diaper patrol, either, so perhaps she could be trusted to co-operate with the system and inform Doug when it was not a good day. Maybe just chat and share their feelings instead?

It's my opinion that if Doug pursues tracking of his girl friend's ovulation that he'll not need to worry about changing diapers because he probably won't be having sex for awhile.

But you're right, it isn't a horrible thing in his intent.

10-14 days after start of period to avoid sex? I did a ton of research and found that pregancy is less likely after a female's period, so having sex then would be ideal with a condom of course. I could use that calender and see if it agrees with my findings. It's worth a try. I want to avoid sex durring her period b/c 1. it would be a bit messy and runing the moment and 2. she might have her period attitude on all tired and grouchy and not in the mood type of days. As for me tracking her priod, I don't think she would mind but we'll talk about that when we plan for when to have sex.

(Sigh!) There are couples who have been together for years, loving each other, having sex regularly, of normal fertility, and yet have not had children. Then, when they want children, they drop the birth control, and within a year, they are pregnant!

Why don't you just go see a clinic doctor?

Just reading your posts is making me anxious. And I haven't been pregnable since 1980!

I don’t think anyone means to freak Doug out, but the decision to have sex is a serious one and must be made with all of the information. I commend Doug for doing his research and getting the information he needs to make himself feel comfortable with his choice.
However, my concern is that he is taking it too far and that he might inadvertently make the experience less meaningful or even altogether unenjoyable, for his girlfriend and for both of them.

Doug, it seems that you are more concerned with avoiding pregnancy than you are with the emotional intimacy that accompanies sex. Being protected is essential, but as we’ve said before you have to have a balance.

As a women, I too would be very irritated and offended if my partner wanted to track my ovulation. The intent is definitely admirable, but the control factor seems a bit much.

Doug, have you even talked to your girlfriend about having sex? Does she know that you are doing all this research and asking these questions? Is she ready to have sex with you and comfortable with your plans and schedules and regimens?

If you are using condoms correctly, it is unlikely that they will break, but if perchance one does, that is why your girlfriend would have a backup form of birth control.

Please, just talk to your girlfriend, ensure that she sees her doctor about birth control, and buy some condoms. And please, make sure your girlfriend is really ready to have sex and comfortable with the decisions you seem to be making.

Well what is more important, intimacy or avioding pregancy? I have talked with her about having sex and we are plaing that a little bit later on down the road but I've been planing of what condoms to use, other toy's/tools to use and what to do and not to do and,etc. Kind of a check list. I've made it last march so I've been planing for our special time for a year now. Before we have sex, we are going to sit down one and one and plan this whole thing out and not rush into it. Kind of make a game plan for sex. If we rush, that could lead to trouble and our minds not thinking at all. She does mind talking with me about her periods and sex and stuff like that. I asked her stuff like how long her cycle is which is 28 days and when she useally get's her period and stuff and she tells me and I keep record about it. I guess my final conclusion here, use condoms carefully and the right way and don't worry about a thing and enjoy sex at the same time and get spermicide to help add to it just incase and as a last resort, get birth control pills afterwards. Maybe I'll throw the calender thing in there just curoius to see when she is least likely to get pregnant by doing the math as Sarai said in her last post and see if matches. If not then I guess condoms will be our new best friends.

quote:

Originally posted by Elexina:
If you are using condoms correctly, it is unlikely that they will break, but if perchance one does, that is why your girlfriend would have a backup form of birth control.

Studies show that condom breakage rates range from 0% to 12%. Through out my personal experience with a wide variety of men over a course of 20 years, condoms have always broken. Two condoms work best for that extra protection.

quote:

Originally posted by Doug:
10-14 days after start of period to avoid sex? I did a ton of research and found that pregancy is less likely after a female's period, so having sex then would be ideal with a condom of course.

Sorry Doug - from your answer, I can't tell if what I wrote was clear or not. Sorry if you already get this.

Avoid sex from the 10th day to the 14th day after her last period started. So if her period started on the 1st, avoid sex from the 10th to the 14th of that month.

Anyway, I agree with Babs and Elexina on this. See a doctor, buy condoms, and forget the complicated mathematical charts.

Is there a math fourmula to use some times to figure out when ovulation is the highest besides the 10-14 day thing?

Doug, I’m not saying (and I don’t think anyone is saying) that you shouldn’t be concerned with avoiding pregnancy. I’m saying you need to find a balance. If you are that concerned with avoiding pregnancy, you really should just be avoiding sex all together. However, if you (and your girlfriend!) are certain that sex is right for you, then you need to make sure that you show the right amount of concern and exercise caution, but that you do not go so overboard as to ruin the entire event.

It is definitely essential to be prepared, but sex should also be special. It should be something you are both ready for and that you have agreed upon. I applaud you for your planning, and your concern. That is commendable. But it’s really important that you are discussing these things with your girlfriend to ensure that you are both on the same page about everything.

I do not mean to imply that you should “not worry about a thing.” I am saying that you do need to be prepared, but that you do not need to be using every device in the book. If you are using condoms (correctly) with birth control (correctly), you should be adequately protected.

Do not rely on a calendar or a calculator, as women’s bodies (especially young women’s bodies) can be very unpredictable. It might be interesting to try just out of curiosity, but you must be using other methods as well.

Do not “as a last resort, get birth control pills afterwards.” That is exactly the opposite of what everyone has been saying. You must use a condom every time, and your girlfriend must visit her doctor to discuss birth control options and decide on one, before] you actually begin having sex. I cannot stress that enough.

Also, please, don’t even bother with “other toys/tools” until the two of you are comfortable with each other and with regular sex. You have got plenty of time to experiment later on. Alternatively, though, you could use toys instead of having actual sex. The trouble with that, though, is that you are not familiar enough with each other’s bodies and limitations -and there is also the question of where to keep such things so they are not discovered...

Please, just:
1) make sure you are both ready for sex and all of its complications and consequences
2) buy the appropriate condoms
3) ensure that your girlfriend visits her doctor and gets birth control



On a side note: Georgia, I don’t think I’ve ever had a condom break but I realize that it does happen, and that is why correct use and backup methods are essential. However, I had always heard that you should not use two condoms together as that makes them more likely to break...