What are they? What are the effects of someone going through it?

Because whatever it is, I think my mom is going through it.

my dad too.

he just bought a jag. thats a big sign.

"Mid-life Crisis" is a sort of pop-culture term discussing the feelings people (usually men) have when they get into their 40's and 60's and start to wonder if they might have made the wrong choices in their life or begin to wonder if they missed out on something. They begin to wonder if they chose the right mate and feel rather trapped, not knowing if this is really where they want to be.

This is a time of soul-searching, re-defining who they are. Often (but not always), this leads to changes in dress, appearance (hair dye, etc), expensive sports cars, mistresses (for men), etc.

People who have circumnavigated these dangerous waters successfully, come out with a stronger self-image and a more stable concept of who they are and what their goals are.

Primarily, this is a time when people who are maturing realize there is less time in front of them than behind them and it sort of panics them.

Sher, I think your last paragraph says it best.

Lynda, that's a perfect example of what men do during that crisis. They do buy cool cars. Some wear more hip clothes, toupee or dye their hair, more cologne, jewelry, etc. As for women, most of them do things like this all the time so the crisis is more a mind thing for them, without a lot of outward changes.

Yelena, it would depend on what's up with your mom. Teens go through changes so the problem might not be your mom, but just the way you analyze her.

I'm pretty sure that my mother is going through it !!! She got a lower back tattoo'd, is wearing hair extentions(weave) (oh she's Korean!!!)..tattoo'd her eyebrows and the out line of her lips. AND I am sooo afraid of what she will do next!!!!!

Grumpy, your mom sounds great. Whatever she does next will make her feel better, and that's fine. Sounds like you have a really cool mom.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE!

being 40 i am entering into a different mindset. but ya'll make it sound like us guys are immature, impulsive and irrational. sure i wonder "what if" and question where i am in life; but i'm grounded enough to know what is important. the losers who have the ear rings and pony tails at 45 were insecure at 25.

contrary to what honilov said about those who ride out the storm evolve into learned helplessness ie: "i'm old and wrinkly i's ready fo ya lord" rather than some sort of life epiphany.

well, i gotta go. have to fill up the VIPER so i won't be late for my date with BAMBI.

LOL Saint Dan, I think the men with the earrings and pony tails at 45 are hot. At 40, you haven't reached the crisis yet. Maybe about 45.

Hey Grumpybear! Maybe your mother is experiencing some of the feelings I've been experiencing. I had my children when I was young and put a lot of things "on hold." Now my children are 21 and 22 and I feel like I don't have to be such a mom. Now I have the time to take some of those projects off "hold." There is something about realizing your children are adults that gives you a second wind. Your mother isn't the first to get a tattoo at 40 or change her look. I've a friend who started college after 40 and goes to classes with her son. Some people (those who aren't there yet ) think it's trying to recapture youth but really, it feels more like a renewal. With the kids on their own there is more time, money and energy to play a little more.

LOL SaintDan and Honi

My mom went through this and my (ex) husband has too. My mom left my dad and went in search of a younger man She ended up wanting my dad back, and he wouldn't, so she married someone just a few years younger. That was the extent of hers though. The (ex) was a little more intense

Rakuchild, that is spot on ! Exactly right. My own mother said that being mid forties on was the best time of her life; the family were grown up; any child was a grandchild and so returnable; she had probably as much money as she would have, certainly enough, and without so much necessary expenditures; any mortgage on the home was paid off; she was still fit and felt young; she had time to do things for herself...perfect. And she could please herself more and look just how she wanted; at that age she was pretty much beyond criticism, because she had status, but in any case she was old enough not to care about criticism !.

She's ninety now; so she has had time enough to look back and make a judgment

And Yelena it might even be premature ageing.....anyway worse may yet be to come !Look:

http://www.holistichealthtools.com/purple.html

I really enjoy that poem. I always get a kick out of it. hehehehe