Does anyone know if the doctors will tie your tubes at a young age if you don't want children and don't want to go on the pill? As of yet I have never seen an OB/GYN doctor before and have never used birth control. I know there is other things to use besides the pill but they do not work as well. A friend of mine told me it is hard to get a doctor to tie your tubes while you are young or have no children(25), but, shouldn't that be up to the person involved if that is what they want?

I think it depends on the doctor. I wanted my tubes tied after having two children. I was about 28 at the time. He didn't feel right doing it because of my age. He said that he has had too many patients come back after a failed marriage wanting children with a second marriage attempting to reverse the permanent form of birth control. He told me if I was dead set on the decision to see another doctor. He refused to do it.

I wouldn't suggest making a permanent decision on this at a young age especially if you have no children. You never know what the future brings. We do change in time. You may want a family some day. There are good forms of birth control out today. I would keep my options open.

I agree with wildflower you are to young to make such a decison. You may meet someone else and decide you want children. This happened to my friend she had 3 children before she was 20 and her and her husband decided no more so she got some one to do the procedure on her. They got divorced and now she is has beening trying for 4 or 5 years and now she is 37 years old. It cost $10,000 dollars to reverse her tubes and their is no absolute that she will get pregnant. They are going thru hell because of something she decided long ago. She does say now that then she did not want no more kids. Which you have no kids and you never know you may change your mind. Have you thought about the shot so you don't have to think about on a daily basis?
I think if you really want this done you may have to go to few doctors before you find one that will do it because of your age. Now if you have Aids or some other diease that is life threatening that might help in their decison. But if you are healthly that is another story.

I would suggest you go to a OBGYN and disscuss birth control. Because if you are seeing a family practice or just a internal med. doctor they know a little bit about everything to that kind of doctor but are not experts. Think of this way. If you need brain surgery you would not want a OBGYN doctor preforming it. You would want a Neuosurgern to do it. Same way with dealing with birth control a OBGYN specializes in this area. They are updated more often than a general practice doc. I hope I am not offending any doctors out there but it is the same way with us nurses. I work in ICU you would not want be to help with a C-section in OR. I could try I was trained but I don't practice it enough. Also by going to a OBGYN you might find something that works great for you and would be so much easier than surgery. At the same time you could also ask them about tubal ligation.

If you don't know where to go call your insurance and find out if you can go to any OBGYN or if they have a number of Doctors to pick from. Most hospitals have a phone line you call and find out about the doctors. Look in yellow pages under hospitals. Good luck, sorry this was long but I really think you need to think more than twice about this important decision. Let us know if we can help you in any other way.

Thank you both for your posts. You do have a point on the kids. I am 100% sure I don't want children. I doubt I would change my mind. I dont see myself doing that. One thing I would not want to take a chance of passing on my ADD to one of them. I never knew about a shot for birth control? So I will take you advice and talk to a ob/gyn doctor. I actually have an appt. this week to see one. Thanks again.

If all you have physically wrong with you is ADD, I wouldn't worry too much. I have found that kids are definitely not parent clones. They pick up all kinds of different traits. I have two kids, same father. They are so different.

My son doesn't look like he belongs in the family. Mom: brown hair, green eyes. Dad: dark brown hair, brown eyes. Son: red hair, blue eyes. We were a little surprised by this. His paternal grandmother is a redhead. His maternal grandfather has blue eyes.

My daughter does look quite a lot like me, but she has her fathers traits mixed in as well. Her eyes are this mixture of green, brown, yellow, blue. We still can't put a color on it. There are streaks of different colors exactly like my mother's eyes.

You go into personality traits. It's like someone put a genetic mix in a blender and that's what you have. They are completely separate individuals. Even if they happen to pick up a personality trait, who knows what they will do with it. Many people with ADD as adults are intelligent and do very well, even better than people without ADD at all. Don't assume that if you had a child that you would pass ADD though. We all have some deficit to deal with in life (you are never going to hear anyone admit it though!). It's whether or not you try to reach a goal despite them.

Whether to have or not to have children is a very personal decision. I can't think of any parents that regret it. It changes your life in the most drastic way. Most parents find that they love their child much more than themselves. It is so difficult to describe. It's almost like it gives you a reason and purpose to live. Strange analysis, huh! I have to say my life would have been a lot easier if I did not have children. Luckily, you don't have to make that decision at all now or ever if you don't choose to. I have changed my mind on a lot of things as time has gone by. Just don't shut the door on the idea.

Whatever you decide about having children, have a good life!

Wildflower had a great comment about passing on traits. My friends have a child who has ADD really bad. The other child that they have does not have ADD. The parents do have any signs of ADD nor did they when they were younger. So having a child with ADD could happen to you but I don't want to put fears in you but you could have a child with no arm or leg. The chances are their for everyone. That is why when and if you ever decide to start a family. You get as healthly as you can prior to getting pregnant. So your child has the best chances of being so called perfect. My first child was born with a heart defect and lived 3 days. We had a greater chance of having a child with a heart defect than the average person because of this. My second child did not have any problems. My third in uteruo they found a whole in his ventrical of his heart. But we were lucky and it closed up before he was born. I wanted to have children and even if I had deal with a defect I would have done it. So you never what traits your child will get from their parents or the enviroment. (I know my spelling is awful)

Anyway let us know how the doctors appointment goes. I think the shot my sister took was once a month or every other I can't remember. She did this because she was over 35 and smoked and they did not want her on the pill any more. She loved it. She had no periods while she did it. Good luck to what ever you decide. I hope we have helped in your decision process. I just don't want you to do something you will regret later in life. Take Care.

Thanks so much for all the info on this stuff. Theres so much of this stuff I did't know. You guys always help me out.I will get back with you.

Hey Sam. I just wanted to tell you that I've made the same decision you have. I don't want kids. I'm 24.

Currently I am on the shot. I actually only have to get it once every 3 months, and after 6 months of taking it, my periods stopped. An unexpected side effect was also the regulation of certain hormones (which I had not realized were unbalanced) causing the terrible moodswings and unexpected depressions I'd always suffered from to cease. To tell the truth, I'm not sure I really like this part of it. Not that I want to be unhappy...I just don't really like thinking I need some type of drug to be "normal"

Anyway...because I know I don't want to have kids and I don't really fancy being on some type of drug for the next few years, my fiancée and I have talked about doing something more "permanent"

He's offered to have the procedure done if I really want him to...but I'm not totally convinced he never wants to have kids again (he already has one) so I'm thinking about it for myself, instead.

Right now, I'm not sure, though.

Anyway...if you do decide to do some type of birth control, CAREFULLY read the possible side-effects. Many of them, like the shot, pose an increased risk for certain types of female cancer.

I also wanted to say that the desire TO have kids is instinctual. It's ingrained on your genetic make-up to reproduce the species...but NOT everyone needs kids, wants kids, or should even have kids. I don't want children and I feel I know myself and my goals for my life well enough that even if sometimes my "gut" tells me to have kids, it's not something I really want.

Soo...the point of this little tangent is that I agree with you and understand the desire to remove the chance of an unwanted pregnancy. I think that if you really feel you don't want to be a parent it is the most wise and RESPONSIBLE thing you can do. Too many kids today suffer because they're unwilling parents WEREN'T responsible and ended up with a kid they didn't want. Though I don't think you're the type to make a child suffer for your mistakes, there are many that do. I wish MORE people were smart enough to realize what they do and do not want, and take the steps to ensure that nothing unexpected happens. Kudos to you, Sam.

Thanks so much. I do feel the same way as you and know that I do not want children ever. I think a women should be able to make that decision for herself and be able to have the surgery if it is what they want to do. its nice to know that someone does understand that we may not want kids in our life. A women doesn't have to have kids to have a complete life. So again thanks for your post I enjoyed reading it and it helps me to know that there is others out there that feel the same way as I do.

Sam I am glad Katany wrote in to. There are lot of people out there that do not want kid. I remember when I was 24 or 25 I didn't want kids either. I had friends that did not want them either. But soon their life style change and out about 30 or so they decided they did want a family. I know one girl that I am best friends with that did not want kids now she has 3. All I am saying is if you can take a shot or use some other form of birth control that doesn't make you sick or require a lot of work I would not make this decison when you are in your early 20's. You just don't know what might change in your life and like I said before my friend paid $10,000 out of her pocket to get her tubes reversed and she has been trying now for 2 years and she is heading close to 38 and the doctors just can't promise that she will get pregnant. I just hate to see this happen. In a few years if you still feel this way then go for it.

I also agree with Katany that some people are just not meant to have children. But people change you sort of grow up. Some people don't ever change they continue to act like how they were in college. You just never know what might happen you might meet someone and want to have children down the road and if you already had your tubes cut then depending on how they do the procedure your chances of getting pregnant are much less than or maybe not possible unless you do invitro. Just think about it for while and this is what you want then I wish you luck and just keep calling OBGYN until you can find one that will help you.

I do understand what you are saying and you make sense too. LOL I guess everytime I read a different post it makes sense to me... i guess I know I don't want kids now and never have but, then I can't really say what will happen down the road since I haven't been there yet. So thanks, maybe I do need to hold off on this awhile...Sam

I am sorry if I beat this subject into the ground. But children mean so much to me and I use to think that I would not have one. But after holding my baby in my arms even my first who died after 3 days. I would still do it again. When I had my tubes tied we didn't know if my third childs heart defect they saw while he was in me was going to effect me. We made the decison while I was open on the table. It was hard and I have had 3 kids. I know that is a different situation but I am glad you are thinking about. Once again sorry I drove you nuts. Take care!

Thanks nursey...you were a big help to me and i appreciate that...

Samantha, One more thing to keep in mind. After I had two children, I had a tubal ligation. Three months later I was pregnant! They are not fool proof. (of course no form of birth control is, except abstainence) You have gotten lots of good advice here. Think hard!

Also, there would be worse traits to pass on than ADD. I don't mean to minimize your condition, but I hope that is not a major reason for your decision not to have children.

Samantha, I admit that having children was something I never wanted or expected to want. I also have ADD and slight Autism (recognizing that after having two sons with it).. but very mild and am able to function normally (but not always easily). I am so glad to have my boys, and even though they are special needs, they are lovely and loving boys and I think that the world is a better place for having them in it.

I am glad you decided to hold off on your decision. You have PLENTY of time to make this life altering decision, and I commend your open minded ability to recognize your future self has the right to choices also.