Occasionally a message from AOL appears saying that someone has sent 'an instant message'. Now as: nobody I know has ever sent one ;I am not familiar with West Coast Babes ( honestly, my social diary is so lacking ); some have even more obvious spammy addresses, these are ignored. How can I stop them altogether? Out of interest, how has anyone got my address and accessed it for this purpose ? These messages are nothing like as common as spam. Should I expect them to become so?

I believe AOL messenger has an option that allows you to only receive messages from people on your buddy list. In fact, I'm positive it does.
Click View Buddy List
Click Setup
Click Privacy Preferences
Select "Allow only those people whose screen names I list" under Choose your Privacy Preferences
Choose Buddy List and Instant Message under Apply Preferences to the Following Features
Click Save

In the Buddy List Window under My AIM there is
edit options-> edit preferences. One option in there is called IM/CHAT. You have checked the Show "acceptable message" dialog for messages from users not on in Buddy List. When someone tries to send you a message it will let you know that someone is trying to send you a message. You will have the option to accept the message, not accept it or to block the user.

There is a preference to block all that are not on your buddy list but I wouldn't recommend that one. Someone here at AP or an old friend may try to reach you. (That could have been who was trying to reach you) Remember if someone you don't want contacts you then just block them. With the accept option you have a choice. You never know who might give you a buzz.

My AOL is a bit different. (updated version)

If you want to totally disable instant messages go to the privacy button. Check 'allow only users on my buddy list'.

Fred
I'm assuming the layout of your AIM is the same as the AOL IM
If so then this will make sense otherwise you'll have to fish a bit But the same tip holds for all versions
Find the Setup button it may be adjacent to the Away message button at bottom of the frame
Pressing this brings the Buddy Setup List UP OK?
Now look around the buttons underneath for Set Preferences (tiny button)
This next part may vary...Layout wise
Click on the Privacy tab (right hand side?)
Now on the list can you see a tick box which says Block only.... Internet Users and also perhaps another which says "People I have listed
here" or words to that effect and there is a box where you can put those addresses you want to block
Tick both of these
Also choose the option which says they cannot view me on their Buddy list or IM you
That should be below that
Press the Apply then the Save buttons to finish.
If you are an AOL member you can also use an IM trapper Program (Keyword: IMcatcher)and alter the Parental Controls settings without touching this area

LOL It sounds like there is more than one way to change this. I do not have AOL. I just have the messenger.

Thanks, all; will try.
FP