Im kind of flustered. There's a guy Ive liked for over a year, and hes finally telling me he's liked me for a while too. The problem is, hes moving to a different state this summer so he doesnt really want to start a relationship or commitment. Although I want to, Im trying to respect where hes coming from with it, but the other problem Im facing is that the relationship we're being it have is sexual. We still maintain a friendship, but every so often we makeout/oral sex. I dont know what to do though! I really like him but I dont want to seem like a slut for having a sexual relationship with someone I dont have a commitment with. He tells me Im not, but Im not sure if thats just because he wants me to give him oral! Help!!
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03-01-04, 09:13 PM
DorianGreyed
"...but Im not sure if thats just because he wants me to give him oral!" - AngelBaby

Angel, if he is anywhere near your age, he will tell you whatever works to keep you doing it. He may even convince himself that he means what he says, but he really doesn't. I speak as a former boy that age, a former teacher and counselor in middle school, and one who has more Adolescent Psychology courses than I care to think about. You say he is leaving soon. You may not like hearing this, but all he is doing is getting what he can while he can. If you want proof of what I say, stop for a month. See what his reaction is.

03-01-04, 09:26 PM
Sherasi
You are disrespecting yourself by having a sexual relationship (in whatever manner) with a boy who is moving soon and has already stated he doesn't want a committed relationship. I agree with Dor in this.. he doesn't want to stop the sexual play of course.. no boy this age would!

But, how does it make YOU feel.. providing sexual "service" to someone who does NOT want a relationship with commitment? (I am betting you don't like how it makes YOU feel)

03-01-04, 09:38 PM
honilov
I agree that's a weird relationship. The best thing for you is to listen to what Dorian and Sher have told you. Boys will be boys.

03-01-04, 09:40 PM
Tree
Oh goodness, Angelbaby.... what part of "not wanting to start a relationship or commitment" did you not understand???

Perhaps he told you that he's liked you for awhile now, because of the service you are providing him. He's told you in no uncertain terms that he's not interested. Why do you persist?

I'd stop seeing him this very minute! Frown

Don't rush - a good guy will come around, eventually. Wink

03-01-04, 09:59 PM
PerfectPeach
Sweetie, please hold on to your purity as long as you can. Do you really want to give yourself to a boy that does not want to be committed to you? When I was your age, I did sexual things with a boy and after he got enough, he left. I really hope you listen to your heart and nothing else..

03-02-04, 10:36 PM
coldfuse
Who got the whole "oral is not sex" thing started, anyway? I blame Clinton!

03-03-04, 07:38 AM
Lydia
He's FINALLY telling you he kinda likes you too? Sheesh - does he like YOU or what you're doing for him??? Weird doesn't begin to cover it Angel...and as for the "relationship" part of your topic.....well, there isn't one!!!

If you hang around for any more of that, you're doing nothing but providing a service. If that's what you want, then go for it, but if you have any respect for yourself, you tell the guy to take a hike!!!

03-03-04, 08:34 AM
frankvan

quote:Originally posted by coldfuse:
Who got the whole "oral is not sex" thing started, anyway? I blame Clinton!

You can blame George Washington or Plato if you want, 'fuse, but I think you know as well as I do, it started when we were still in the trees. Wink

03-08-04, 07:33 PM
puppyblues
LOLOL@Frankvan!! Big Grin

03-17-04, 11:14 AM
clarebear
Ok, this may hurt but you gotta know. The truth of the matter is... he is using you. He knows he is moving and that your relationship can never be more than it is right now. He has no respect for you at all and probably does think you are a slut. (I bet when you ask him he says.. Oh noooo.. I don't think that) He sure won't tell you what he really thinks cause he doesn't want you NOT to give him some sex. Most boys who use girls for sex don't think too much of them. They usually hide the relationship from their family and just brag about the sex to their friends. He doesn't want a relationship with you but he sure will take some free sex if you offer it. You really can't blame the guy. Afterall, some oral with no strings attached. It sounds like he is getting one hell of a deal. I know you like him but face the facts. If you stopped giving him sex he probably wouldn't talk to you anymore. The only thing you are getting out of giving him sex is just a few empty compliments. It just isn't worth it and it is doing nothing for you. Don't let him make a fool out of you any more. You say he is FINALLY telling you he likes you. (Gee thanks. Roll Eyes) Remember, you can only be treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Find yourself a boyfriend who will love you for the great person you are, not some guy who is nice to you just to get a little free sex on the side. This isn't your fault and NO you are not a slut. He is using you because you are very nice and you like him. You want him to like you too. This guy sounds like a real pig who is taking advantage of your kindness. You are probably not the only one he is doing this with. You deserve better. Believe it!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,