I've got a problem...see, I used to talk to this girl like every day- i felt as though i could tell her anything...over the past couple weeks I've noticed that she's never online, when she's normally always on, yet I still see signs that shes online- this bewildered me until a friend clued me into what was going on- that she got a new screen name and didn't put me on her buddy list because she felt that i am perfect and that she cant be human around me because she always had to compete. I had no clue she felt this way about me. i figured that she of all people should know that i am far from perfect. i know that being "preachy and self-rightious" is one of my major faults, and i am working on that, but its kinda hard to when you dont realize that you're doin it. I don't know what to do. She never said anything to me that would indicate that something was wrong. she never said "megan, we need to talk." she never told me how she felt. before i last talked to her, she told me that she changed her email address, but never told me what to, and has left me without any way to reach her. i dont know what to do...i feel hurt that she feels that she cant tell me that she has a problem with me. what should i do?

Unfortunately, sometimes people are not good with confrontations or discussions of personal feelings. It sounds like your friend may have been afraid of getting hurt and chose the easy way out. Why not just post a statement somewhere she frequents describing your feelings and the regrets you have at not at least closing the friendship amicably. If your friend responds you can work from there. If you friend ignores the overture, you may need to just move on and forget about it.. and realize sometimes people are not very mature about relationships.

I don't know where your friend is getting this information on the why's of you not being put on this persons friends list. I think that you are going to have to write this friendship off as she obviously did. I don't think she wants to confront you about why she has decided to exclude you. Yet, she has made the decision to do this. The reason is probably never going to be know. Don't put too much into second hand gossip about it. I think that you are just going to have to let this one drop. She isn't your friend at all.

Hi Magan, it's tough to loose a friend, but sometimes we get too wrapped up in one friend and don't make ourselves expand that realm of girlfriends. I'm wondering if it's hard for you to have more than one friend at a time, or your friend to have more than one friend at a time. It makes for a sad sad time.
Try three times to reach out to this friend and if there is no answer at all from her, then you move on after grieving your loss. Yes, it's like the person has died in away depending on how close you were. A friendship has died.
Been there and done that! Karen

Well, like Wildflower said, dont push into 2nd
hand gossip. It honestly gets you nowhere and
its get the other person, (me), all these bad
things said about them... as you can cleary see
by the 3 posts above. What "this girl" says, is
what goes through her mind and Mr. friend, does
not alawys know exactly what goes through her
mind. The email which your friend sent your
other friend was an easy one to mistake. It
was quite brief and could have easily been mis-
taken for other meanings. It obviously wasnt in
full enough detail. I do not think this friend
of yours has any right to relay messages to you
spoken or typen by "this girl" For one, because
she should tell you herself and secondly because
it is possible to create clutter (which by the
way did happen.) But let me stress to you, I do
not think he lied... he is just unknowlegable of
the complete thought. Your friend says that "she
got a new screenname and didn't put you on it
because she thinks you are too perfect." Now I
gurantee there are some missing thoughts to that
statement. First of all, "this girl" didn't add
anyone to the list. Only 2 of about 80? I do
promise that it has nothing to do with strictly
you... though your other friend made it seem that
way. Trust me, there is a reason for whatever
"this girl" does.... and though the reason may be
unclear now, soon "this girl" hopes the reason
will be understood and known to all. Okay, now
back to that statement! Though it appears that
she cannot talk to you because she thinks you
are perfect... that isn't the case. Its not YOU
its the world. She cannot compete with the world
Perhaps you do not know it, but "this girl" is
going through some rather tough times and she can
not deal with friendships right now. Perhaps she
took the easy way out and of course not the right
thing to do, but yes it was easy. I think
Sherasi said the most truth. I liked the part
where she said "sometimes people are not good
with confrontations or discussions of personal
feelings." I highly agree with that statement
because... well its true. "This girl" cannot
express her personal feelings to... anyone!! So
please do not take it personally that she did
not tell you.. And remember, it isnt YOU. It is
the world. "This girl" cannot deal with the
world and every burden she has taken upon herself
.... so many burdens not only hers but those that
belong to others... and quite frankly, its too
much for her. Now there was a chance for the
friendships to be reconcilled, but now that your
friend created clutter, I honestly do not see
taht happening because "this girl" will always
have this moment right now as I speak to fear,
to look back upon in disgust because of all these
misunderstandings.

Well then, I think it is very important for this girl to talk to me in order to clear up any misunderstandings, because she knows that I am very sensitive concerning these kinds of issues, and I would think that this girl would know that I don't take relationships lightly- that I lose sleep over such things.

TWP,
You have received a lot of good suggestions from others and need to be patient and try them out. You also need to be able to let go and realize that online relationships are only words. Use this relationship to grow on and try not to be so dependent on what others tell you. Learn something from this and move on.
Good luck.