i am 20 and i went out with a girl (18) i met at work over a year and a half ago. she broke up with her boyfriend shortly after i met her and i could tell that she really liked me, but i was interested in someone else at the time. eventually i started to like her and we started going out after that summer and for about 6 monthes and got along really well and had fun and fell in love with her. then the night before velentines day she said she just wanted to try it as friends for awhile because she felt pressure lately and wasn't comfortable with me yet and college was coming up soon and even though it was only an hour and 1/2 away it would be LDR. so we didn't do much and hardly talked until the end of march and then she told me that she felt more comfortable with me now and that her plan worked because she just wanted to get to know me better w/o all the awkwardness and that there was a def possibility that we could be more than friends. now she has graduated (i grad. last year) i told her that i loved her and how i felt about her and she didn't talk to me for a couple days. she finally called me and said she didn't mean it like that (the def possibility that we could be more than friends) and it wasn't just the LDR(i'm going over there in less than a year anyways), and that she only sees me as a friend now and that she doesn't think it would work out because of that and she wants to meet new people at college and not be tied down and she said "no" when i asked her if she thought there was a possibility of being more than friends later on. i'm still in love with her and feel we are perfect for each other. do you think that there is any chance of us getting together later on, perhaps after she has settled down in college? i really want it to work out.

Welcome to AnswerPool Billy!!

There is always a possibility that it could, but personally I you need to let her go, she sounds pretty sure she wants to be just friends ans was at least honest about it to you, much better than telling you maybe and having you wait around for her. I know it's really hard when you have feeling for someone and they are not returned to you. Wish I had better advice to give...other than to just try and move on, but for now at least that is what you need to do. Sorry sweetie!!

Hi Billy

Welcome to Answerpool!

Your friend is still figuring out who she is. She just graduated high school and is now going off to college. She has a lot of new things happening in her life. Tell her that you understand and respect her feelings and that you really hope that you can stay friends. Don't tell her you love her anymore and don't sit and wait for her. You should be out there dating too. The world is YOURS to experience also. My prediction is that you are going to find someone else and your heart won't be with her anymore. Billy, its hard to see what else is out there with tunnel vision. The true girl of your dreams may be right in front of you and you can't even see her because this other girl is blinding you. Look for the one who you have a great time with, treats you great and loves you back. Be sure to keep us updated. Good Luck to You.

Just from what you've told us, I can see why you're reluctant to go for the "just friends" thing.... Smart, self confident, honest women in your age range are hard to come by... But, Darlin', here's a hard truth... You don't really have a choice... You can keep pressing your suit and lose her altogether because she'll resent the pressure (I'm sure you don't mean it as such, but in this it is her perception that matters not your intent), or you can keep in touch, get together as friends about half as often as possible and hope that one of the two of you changes your mind about what you should be to each other (Don't be too available to go running to see her, if she's ever going to come around, it's best she does not think you've got no life of your own happening... trust me on this, I'm old and wily)
Good Luck, and welcome to AP

thanks for your advice everyone. she recently told me that she recently still liked me as more than a friend, but then realized it wouldn't work out and said it's hard to explain. is there anyway i can convince her otherwise. i really think we are perfect for each other. when we were going out we only kissed a few times toward the end and they were kinda weak. would one last kiss maybe change her mind? should i ask her for one?

Billy, I think the advice you have been given still covers the last post you made.

Your lady-friend clearly feels ambivalent (pulled two ways) about her feels and the relationship you guys may (or may not) have.

Give her room to grow up a little learn who she is and what she wants and just be there as a (supporting but unobtrusive) friend.

Billy, I'm going to break the "Girl Code" here and offer you a translation of "still liked me as more than a friend, but then realized it wouldn't work out and said it's hard to explain."
What this means is she knows you're a great guy, and she wishes she liked you as much as you like her, but she just doesn't feel it and (bless her) is honest and kind enough not to want to keep you dangling.
A person can't help feeling what they feel anymore than they can help liking the colour blue or hating rocky road ice cream... it's probably really not you, she's just not feelin' that sparkle.
You can't "Convince" someone to feel an emotion.
I'm sorry to be so blunt and maybe even harsh, but you really can't change someone's heart....
Let her go do what she needs to do, keep in touch but don't press for more.
She may come to feel differently or she may not but either way, you will not gain any ground by trying to persuade her of what she simply doesn't feel.

Sorry Bill, just let her go. There is absolutely no chance. Best of luck to you buddy.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.