what is a good way to impress a girl, one that i've gone out with off and on for over a year. she used to always call me, and now i only call her. what is a way to reverse that to kinda play hard-to-get, to make me seem more attractive/romantic/wild without her knowing what i'm doing. also, what is the most romantic thing possible to say in this situation, without laying it on too thick or being too obvious?

Those are really hard questions to answer without knowing either of you. But, in general, honesty is the best policy. Girls usually know when you are playing them. So, if you really want to get back together, and impress her, do something spontaneous and unexpected, but be honest.

Good luck

Girls want to be loved/liked for themselves and not played like a fish on a line.

In other words, use genuine expressions of your affection instead of gimmicks. Invite her out to a place that has meaning for the two of you, like a park or a river/lake side place. Pack a picnic of her and your faforite foods and just enjoy the quiet time together.

Your time is more valuable than things are, be creative in ways to express your affection.

As a grandfather I have to say that both of the posters above give excellent advice. However, having read one or two of the ideas expressed by the young man here I believe that he makes fascinating points. I do not agree with everything he preaches, and he will certainly not appeal to the female members of AP, but I believe that his message is worth hearing. At least have a look at his point of view...

And good luck!

That was an interesting link. I don't agree with all of it either, but some good points were made.

This is the part that made me go grrrr. This isn't exactly what the author said, but my interpretation. Why do fat ugly men not want to date fat ugly women? I don't get that. This is so superficial that I did go grrr at it.

Then there was the part about women using head games to get men to marry them. What sane woman wants to marry a man that doesn't want her? Just an fyi, but men are just as manipulating as any woman I ever met.

Men really do find it sport to go wife hunting. They manipulate women buying them gifts they didn't ask for and/or repairing their car. If you dare get angry with them, they throw in in your face how much they do for you and you are just unappreciative and taking advantage of them. What? This was a set up from the start. Yes, men pull this tactic on women all the time.

I'm sure the guy honestly does care about the woman he is hunting down, with the goal of being a good wife to him, but the same is true for women who manipulate a guy they adore, wanting marriage.

I don't see women setting up, plotting, planning, and manipulating, with a formula in mind. What women, in love, want is to feel secure that this guy is really going to stay with them, during good and bad.

We get tired of a guy with all the right words, backing away from us, like the are leaving the door open just in case they find someone better. We want to feel secure in our relationship, which men don't get at all. We are capable of love and marriage is a big deal to us, when in love with a man.

We do act emotionally, when we feel rejected by our man. We act rotten feeling that rejection, which men think is manipulation. It isn't.

Look at this topic question, for example. This is a reasonable and acceptable question, only for a young person. If a 32 year old, of either sex, asked this same thing, we all know what it is, manipulation.

This is a never ending problem. Men and women think differently and interpret actions they see as if they were dealing with what we know, our own sex. We get confused. That book about men and women living on different planets wouldn't be common knowledge (with a really wealthy author), if either sex really understood the other. We never did and never will.

There are no magical answers but be yourself and be honest. Those are easy words, but hard ones to really do because of the fact we will never truly understand the opposite sex.

quote:

Originally posted by Wildflower63:
There are no magical answers but be yourself and be honest. Those are easy words, but hard ones to really do because of the fact we will never truly understand the opposite sex.

It's certainly possible to understand the opposite sex. We may not understand them all the time, but a lot of the time, what we want comes in plenty clear and couples are able to connect all the time. All we want is to be loved. And all you have to do is give it. It's pretty easy to understand each other if you just help out each other whenever the other needs it.

quote:

Originally posted by Wildflower63:

Why do fat ugly men not want to date fat ugly women?

WF, do fat, ugly women want to date fat ugly men? Constructing the question in those terms, I doubt it. Yet I know every combination amongst those with whom I make contact; fat ugly man/beautiful woman, great-looking guy/unattractive female, elderly man/bimbo-female, etc., etc., and often, very happy and contented they are.

Asked in the abstract, very few people of either sex actively look for these qualities in others, eagerly seeking out perceived physical limitations and finding them desirable. However, taking the whole picture, we love others for their qualities, and for the fact that this particular person would die trying to defend us, above all others, regarding us as the most wonderful person in the world.

Jusork is quite right here, except that I would add the caveat 'forsaking all others'. And how do we know for sure that Peter, who asks his perfectly reasonable and serious question is dating a potential Miss World, anyway? What matters is that he believes he is. If not careful, we could take this subject right off-topic, and end up causing more confusion than clarity for him. Hard-pressed, I would have to say that Mrs. Ritzmar, 60 years old this coming August 3rd would probably not now win the Miss world contest (40 years ago she might just have been a contender) but to me, married to her these past 36 years she still beats all the opposition hollow.

Back to you, Peter. I repeat what I said in the first place. Shelley & Sherasi offer perfect advice above. But if you are able to sift the wheat from the chaff at the website which I listed earlier I believe that there are valuable main clauses there. Too many men make the grand gesture of baring their souls and declaring how much they care about the person they wish to win, scaring the girl off in the process. De Angelo maintains that backing off somewhat, not being over eager and giving the female space in which to breathe and consider is more likely to produce results.

No-one wishes to be manipulated, but keeping something in reserve and showing control can, in some cases be more effective and attractive to the intended than being overattentive.

Good luck, and keep us posted!...

Peteboothman,

Make her jealous. Start being seen with another woman. Show up places where her friends hang out and make sure they see you treating her very well. Make sure you look like you're having a good time. Then trust me the phone calls will come from that woman you speak of.
Women sometimes need to feel jealous to make them realize what they got. Look I'm no Dr.Love or nothin, and I never claimed to be a great romancer of women or even decent at relationships, but I get mine. Take my advice very carefully, do it right and you'll do ok. but go too far and it will all blow up in your face.

Ummmm Ron, you certainly are entitled to an opinion, but I can tell you that from a female's point of view the above mentioned action would not fly. If a guy is truely interested in a girl, for him to go out with another girl and blatantly shove it in his previous girl's face, will only anger her (if she really was interested in him) and will only prove to her that he is nothing more than a skirt chaser and is not mature enough to sit down with her and have open communication regarding the way there relationship is heading. We know when we are being played. We know exactly what guys are trying to achieve when they pull a stunt like that. Yes, we may get jealous but our common sense will over-ride that and we'll end up saying "good riddance to bad garbage....and she can have him!" One of the few that would actually let this jealousy get to her and would take him back would be someone with low self-esteem who feels they can't do better and would rather be with a guy who treats her with little respect than be alone.

Now to answer your question Peter, if she has stopped calling have you considered the fact that she may not be playing hard to get but rather has interests in other areas now? Feelings for someone can fade over time and it could be that she is hoping you'll get the hint by her not calling. Yes, it's a game but one that girls think will help spare your feelings.

With all things, communication is the key. Talk to her. Ask her why she no longer calls. And for goodness sakes just come out point blank and ask her how she feels about continuing in this "relationship". You'll be able to tell by her response if she shares the same interest as you do in continuing as a couple.

Good luck!