My friend's boyfriend just broke up with her cause he's a jackass. Now my friend wants to kill herself because she loves him. she wont listen to me or her mother. What should I do?

You need to talk to your parents, your friends parents, or a counselor now for ideas on how to help your friend. By coming to you, your friend was telling someone and even though she may not admit it, she needs you to help her and prevent her from doing something drastic. Telling others who can help her better than you can is one way for you to help her.

From the health boards... "If you, a family member or friend is considering suicide call - 1 800 SUICIDE - for help!"

first of all, know this: this isn't your problem, or your fault. this is something your friend is dealing with. don't drag yourself in any farther than you have to. it can get quite painful. please, don't do anything foolish, either. i speak from experience.

talk to her a lot. tell her that you care. don't make her problems seem small; this has the opposite effect of what's intended. try to talk her into seeing the school counselor. if she won't go with you, go without her, tell the counselor what's happening.

her mother obviously knows what's going on. try to get her involved, but pay attention to your friend and back off if she gets defensive.

this part i'm indecisive about: whether to tell all of your friends or just keep it to yourself. she probably doesn't want a whole bunch of people telling her to cheer up, nor does she want to feel alone. it's up to you, tell who you think needs to know, but don't spread it to anyone and everyone.

tell her that it's okay, and it'll be alright. don't tell her that he isn't worth her tears, but tell her that hurting herself won't make anything better. (tell her this only if you see cuts on her wrists, or if she tells you that she's planning to cut herself).

and that's all i have to say, lol.

Whoa! Sorry, but your friend is a NUT! How old is she?

Well If I were you, this is what I would tell her.

Something may happen in everyone's life that makes them feel they want to die, but you're alive and that is really, REALLY something you need to consider - Life. There are so many years left in your life, so many things to do, so many things you haven't yet experienced. There will be so many other guys you will fall in and out of love with. This is just one obstacle you have to overcome, one stepping stone in the road. He's just one of the many guys that will be in your life. There will be others, nice ones, ones that know how to treat you right. But only if you should choose to keep on living,a nd only if you should choose tp keep on experiencing these things. That is your decision only.

Thats just what I would tell her...
Jeez, how someone could kill themselvs over a guy (escpecially a jackass) is beyond me....

I think MkStfnz is right on, call 1-800-SUICIDE. The advice given here is good (though I would skip over the 'nut' part when passing on Yelena's advice), but the people who work those lines have specific training for exaclty this kind of situation.

quote:

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Originally posted by Yelena:
Jeez, how someone could kill themselvs over a guy (escpecially a jackass) is beyond me....

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In a break up, the other person is always a jackass(unless it's peaceful I guess). They don't mention what they've done for each other or what went on to want to break up. She must love him in some way.

Sadly, a lot of women think that their life is meaningless and their world has ended if they do not have a man. This is not true, of course, but sometimes it takes people some time to realize this.

What you have to decide is how involved in this do you want to be. If your friend is truly suicidal and a danger to herself, she should be treated professionally. You said that her mother is aware of the situation, so you should let the mother take control. If this girl is this depressed, she may need counseling or even drugs to straighten her out. You can be her friend, but you do not have to be a therapist. Let her know that you are there for her, but do not take up so much of her burden that it starts to weigh you down as well.

Talk to her, be her friend and support her, but don't let her suck you dry. You may have to take a step back once in a while. It is exhausting having a depressed friend. Half the time, you end up needing treatment yourself! So be careful and don't get in over your head.

If you are close with her mother, mention the suicide hotline to her and suggest that maybe the girl needs professional help.

Just remember, ultimately it is your friend who has to decide that she wants to move on. She's going to have to come to terms with the end of her relationship and realize that there is more out there than boys and lust. And she will. Maybe not this week or this month, but she will see through this, and the best thing you can do for her is be her friend.