i'm 18 i'm about to go on my first real date in a looong, with a girl at the movies. i was wondering what a good thing to do on the first date...should i try to kiss her or put my arm around her at the movies? i've only met her online, so when i meet her in person should i shake her hand or hug her, or do nothing but smile at her? should i suggest going out to eat or something like that? and if so, before or after the movie? ************************************************************* 10-28-05, 01:51 PM Sherasi How well do you know this young lady? Is she a friend? Do you have things in common (play the same sports, belong to any of the same school clubs, etc). How late will the movie run? If it is a later running movie, a meal BEFORE it may be a good idea. Most movie centers have a pizza place near it or a sub shop, etc.
As for any kind of intimate gesture.. that you will have to play by ear. If she is laughing and leaning in toward you and smiling, a small kiss may be welcome at the end of the night. I would just guide her route with your hand at her elbow and not get much more personal than that until you know how the evening is going.
I hope you enjoy your date. Smile
And welcome to Answerpool. Smile ************************************************************* 10-28-05, 04:09 PM aminator2002 I highly recommend against the handshake or hug option... you either go for a quick kiss good night or nothing. Do not hug... do not shake hands... please trust me.
There is an easy way to tell if she'd like you to kiss her. She will stall at the end of the date. So if you are driving, at the end of the night if she doesn't just get right out of the car then you should either walk her to the door and give her a kiss at the door or in the car you should ask "I'd really like to give you a kiss... would that be alright?" The key here is for you to give her a nice kiss... nothing fancy just a quick kiss. Then the part that some guys forget is the follow up... you should smile after the kiss and thank her for a nice evening.
Remember to tell her that you'd like to see her again if you had a good time.
Good luck! Try not to be nervous and have a nice time. Smile ************************************************************* 10-28-05, 10:21 PM iamjames2004 hey thanks for the advice...just a couple last questions, does "guide her route with your hand" mean to kinda hold her elbow or something and where should i touch her for that first kiss? 10-29-05, 03:45 PM Sherasi yes, I meant use your hand at her elbow to walk her. It is a courteous way of escorting her, opening the doors, car doors, etc. Smile ************************************************************* 09-07-06, 01:14 AM kissingurami No handshake or hug?
I am around his age and if I were going to meet someone for the first time after chatting on the internet I would definitely shake their hand or give a quick hug.
First encounters are awkward - how else are you going to greet them for the very first time? ************************************************************* 09-30-06, 06:59 PM Sarah51 How did the date go? ************************************************************* 09-30-06, 07:28 PM juanruiz It was 11 months ago. He probably doesn't remember. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 11:05 AM SeattleRon it all depends if you're trying to score or not. You're 18, it's time for you to not be a wuss. I'm just pulling your leg. Take it slow, and make sure you compliment how she looks.
Her hair, lean into her when you hug her and smell her hair. "my god, what is that jasmine?" ( or whatever scent is in her hair )
hold her hand all the way to the car. Make conversation. When you get to the restaraunt let her order first. Ask her opinion. Make sure you look interested. Whatever she orders, order the same, but add something to it. I normally order a Heineken. "Sir I'll have the same but can you add what the chef recomends for a salad."
by the end of dinner, you'll know if you're going home home "Frustrated", or getting a Hotel.
By the way, never let a woman know where you live. Women get crazy sometimes. Never let them know where you live.
Tip Heavy. the bill will probably be over a hundred. so tip 20, and get out of there.....
Goodluck Bud!
quote: MrsS says: Ron, please remember that this site needs to stay pretty close to "G rated"
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MrsS, 12-21-06 10:43 AM ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 11:47 AM aminator2002
quote: I am around his age and if I were going to meet someone for the first time after chatting on the internet I would definitely shake their hand or give a quick hug.
I didn't see that part. A handshake when meeting someone new is appropriate. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 11:58 AM MrsS I'm not going to get too deeply into my opinion of Ron's tactics but I do have to argue with his advice about ordering. An amazing number of women are NOT out to bleed their date's wallet and one of the ways we avoid doing so is to ask him "What are you having?" or "What looks good to you" so we can get a cue about how much he wishes to spend (or can comfortably afford) and order accordingly. Same deal with ordering drinks, even if we want a 9 dollar, top shelf margarita, we will wait for him to order a drink and order a similarly priced beverage. Also, many girls actually want the Cobb Salad as an entree but will make some unpleasant assumptions about the virility of a man who orders the same thing, so besides depriving us of a chance to gracefully gauge your budget, that "order what she orders" suggestion can backfire, big time.
Back when I was still dating, the recently met man who tried to hug me or sniff my hair at the outset of a first date was likely to hear me apologizing for my need to leave before dinner is ordered.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MrsS, 12-21-06 11:36 AM ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 12:17 PM juanruiz
quote: By the way, never let a woman know where you live. Women get crazy sometimes. Never let them know where you live.
But if you give a false address, make sure the house doesn't exist. Some wacko showed up at my house at 11:00 one night looking for a guy who had given her my address as his residence. Almost had to call the cops to get rid of her. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 12:24 PM VelvetVoice LOL! Somebody must have given your address for a reason, maybe they wanted you to talk some sense into her about her choice of dates. You should have invited her in for 'coffee'. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 12:31 PM juanruiz
quote: You should have invited her in for 'coffee'.
But if you give a false address, make sure the house doesn't exist. Some wacko showed up at my house at 11:00 one night looking for a guy who had given her my address as his residence. Almost had to call the cops to get rid of her.
Perhaps, in that instance, it might have been appropriate to have given the address of the local mental health crisis facility. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 01:38 PM DorianGreyed "But if you give a false address, make sure the house doesn't exist. Some wacko showed up at my house at 11:00 one night looking for a guy who had given her my address as his residence. Almost had to call the cops to get rid of her."
I've always meant to apologize for that, JR, but the timing just never seemed right. ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 01:49 PM SeattleRon a big rule for me is never let a woman know where you live....., the hotel is always at least 3 blocks away. and my name is Roland Burke..
quote: Ron, SERIOUSLY, keep it clean!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MrsS, 12-21-06 01:59 PM ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 02:37 PM juanruiz
That is so brazen and underhanded! ************************************************************* 12-21-06, 08:49 PM SeattleRon I'm so sorry about that. I meant no disrespect to anybody. I know it was wrong showing teenagers a bad example. I understand as an adult I should show the kids a better side of life, and for that I am sorry. I was just showing the guy a part of life that he might confront. ************************************************************* 12-22-06, 08:27 AM MrsS
Ron, that you are an out and out cad is just part of who you are. I don't think it contributes to your happiness, but that's not my call to make. As long as you're not urging criminal acts,I don't think it's my place to censor your attitude, as much as it offends at times. I suspect that the reason you find greedy bimbos with borderline personalities is not that that's what's out there but that that is the only type who will accept the way you treat women. If you come across in the real world the way you do here, no nice, sensible, smart woman would have you... at least not if she's at the point in her life where she has learned the difference between a "Good Time" and a "Good Bet" (I am quite certain you're a very good time)...Silly little girls accept "Players", Grown women with hearts and minds do not....but your love life is not my problem. What is my problem is the language you use to express your predatory, amoral slant on life, and it is only the language that I am telling you needs to stay "Family Friendly". ************************************************************* 12-24-06, 03:32 AM SeattleRon now, don't get me wrong MrS. I am not a disrespectful person who treats women like pleasure toys. Only when they act that way. The only time I act that way is when I am at a "meat market". I.E. a night club,bar, or other place where I too am a piece of meat.
I try to meet very nice,sensible, and smart women at other times througtout my day. I'm not a total dog. I've met a few that I really cared about. Thats just a whole nother story.
Believe me I really would love to settle down. I'm ready for that. Everytime I babysit my friends kids I'm lovin it. I would love to have kids of my own, and be with a woman who's willing to put up with me,lol.
As much as I look, I feel I probably shouldn't be. When the time comes the right woman will come by. You can't look for love. Love will find you..... ************************************************************* 12-24-06, 08:50 AM dance girl Nothing wrong with going to night clubs and bars Ron..but the fact that you view them as meat markets says a lot in itself about you. Wink A lot of the nice, sensible, smart women, as you describe them, go to these places and don't see them this way. ************************************************************* 12-24-06, 09:08 AM Sherasi I agree with Dance Girl in this, Ron.
I consider myself a relatively nice, sensible, somewhat smart woman and I went to these Clubs occassionally just because I loved to dance and mingle with other young people my age.
I NEVER approached it as a meat market.. never ever went to a club for the express purpose to get laid.
In fact, I was a virgin for quite a long time and never went home with ANY guys at all. ************************************************************* 12-24-06, 02:39 PM SeattleRon I just always figured everybody was there for the same reason. It's what it seemed like to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no god's gift to women, not even by a longshot. It just seems whenever I'm there thats all thats going on. People hooking up in the corner,bathroom, even on the dance floor sometimes.
I never went clubing just to dance, well except when I used to do ecstacy,coke, and other drugs. Now when I go I'm relatively sober, I might have a couple 7&7's.
But when I go with my crew, it's for the purpose of getting laid.
I always thought women pictured it the same way. ************************************************************* 12-24-06, 04:02 PM MrsS Well, Ron, you are wrong about that... you're far from alone in having that idea, but no, an awful lot of us go to the clubs to dance and just socialize and consider cheesy pick up efforts and grabby men a part of the price we pay, just like the cover charge, for the pleasure of dancing, having a few drinks and *flirting*. Unfortunately, nowadays, pure flirting, in which no one expects any return on the investment of time and the price of a drink, is sort of a lost art... Men move on if they don't see themselves getting more than a number at the end of the evening, the women won't accept an opening line for fear of seeming like a tease if they're not interested after getting better aquainted, and no one gets to know anyone.. very sad, really. ************************************************************* 01-07-07, 02:51 PM SeattleRon Whats funny about that is I don't hit on the women. I grab a seat at the bar, look around, and if I see someone I like. I get the bartender to send a drink to her. Once the drink is served I glance at her real quick with a nice smile. I never NEVER aproach her. If she wants to talk she can come to me. I'm not one of those guys that are like "hey i bought you a drink now you owe me."
If she doesn't aproach me then she's obviously not interested and I just lost 10 bucks. It's always ok though. I just move on to another night club. My game is low key. I just play it cool and relax. there is never any pressure. A lady is going to do what a lady wants to do. And thats the bottom line...... ************************************************************* 01-07-07, 03:22 PM MrsS I am as much or more to blame for this as anyone, but we have totally hijacked this thread! A perfectly nice young man came to us with a perfectly decent question about how a first date should work and this is what he got Roll Eyes I'm sorry, James, we'll stick to first date stuff from here on out... and NOT any more tips for picking up one night stands or "scoring". ************************************************************* 01-07-07, 04:52 PM SeattleRon I agree MrsS. I am to blame for it just as much and maybe more than you. Hey you got my email right? Wink ************************************************************* 01-08-07, 08:47 AM Elexina
quote: it all depends if you're trying to score or not
I guess if this is your main priority in dating, then a lot of your actions will be based on this. If you’re interested in having a good time, spending some quality time with another person, your actions might be different.
I agree with MrsS. Men who smell my hair on the first date, or even try to hold my hand immediately, are just creepy. Hold out your elbow for her to hold onto. Hand-holding might be more intimate than she is ready for -and hair smelling is definitely too much!
Also I agree about ordering. I, too, decide what to order based on how much my companion is ordering. Even now when we go out to dinner with my husband’s family, or if I’m having lunch out with co-workers and we’re going to split the bill, I always make my choice based around what other people are ordering. A man for whom money is no concern may not be the person a girl wants to spend a lot of time with. A happy medium between stingy and indulgent is always best.
Until you get to know someone, neither a woman or a man should give the other person their address. However, these days with the internet being what it is, refusing to give an address isn’t going to solve your problem if the other person has your address or name or e-mail... ************************************************************* 01-23-07, 01:29 AM SeattleRon Elexina, you ever just order a heavy meal like a rib-eye with the works? Even though you're all splitting the tab, it can't be that big of a deal right?
As far as the adress thing, I don't give mine out.
The smelling of the hair thing, if you do it right, the lady will never know. The holding of the hands, thats really hard to explain, there is a technique you execute in order to not make it look cheesy. If you want I could show you....Wink ************************************************************* 01-23-07, 07:22 AM Elexina No, I do not order an expensive meal whether we are splitting the check or not. The only time I might order something pricey is if it’s just me and my husband and we are both being gluttonous, or if my parents insist because they know I loves me the red meat. Otherwise, I stick to less expensive items.
I was not saying that you shouldn’t give your address out, specifically. You made it clear that you do not. I was saying that no one should give out their personal information to someone they have just met.
quote: The smelling of the hair thing, if you do it right, the lady will never know.
Trust me, Ron, the lady knows. Maybe she doesn’t say anything in order to be polite, but hair-sniffing is obvious, and creepy. I’m not talking about catching a whiff of her perfume when she flips her hair as she walks in front of you, of course. That might be unavoidable. But actually learning in to take a sniff is just weird -even if she supposedly doesn’t catch you at it.
And I did not mean to imply that holding hands was cheesy or juvenile. I said “creepy.” If you move to quickly on a first date, you’re more likely to creep the girl out and scare her off than move things along. If you have a nice time at the meal and feel like there is a connection, you might reach for her hand on the way back to the car. That way it is not a long walk and you can tell if she is comfortable with it or not. But just grabbing her hand, regardless of the technique, often comes across as pushy and weird.
quote: If you want I could show you....
You know, I think I’ll be okay without, but thanks anyway. ************************************************************* 01-23-07, 12:37 PM SeattleRon oh my god, i am so sorry, I forgot you were married. My apologies Elexina. I make it a big issue to not hit on a married woman.I'm sorry. ************************************************************* 01-25-07, 08:24 AM Elexina No offense taken, as long as you don't take offense that I wouldn't have taken you up on the offer were I single, either. Smile Seriously, I thought you were just turning a phrase, I didn't mean to make a thing of it. And hey, it's not always a bad thing to be hit on. It can be flattering, even when it's creepy. Big Grin ************************************************************* 02-11-07, 03:50 AM SeattleRon i am C-O-O-L cool, my friend. no worries about it, It's more dificult to do things over a compuer, I'm not used to that. LOL, thank for the creepiness...
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,
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