I wasn't sure where to put this, but I need some advice.

There is this guy who is friend's with my boyfriend. I wouldn't even call them 'good' friends up until recently. This guy has been coming to our house almost everyday for the past month. It doesn't bother me too much. Afterall, my boyfriend needs to have friends other than just me.
Anyways, apparently this guy wants to be my friend too. I'm not really interested in his friendship. He and I have nothing in common. I dont mind being nice to him and being his acquaintance, however.
He brought my boyfriend and I Christmas presents last night. He gave me a $50.00 gift card for Hastings. I thought this gift was extremely generous and I thanked him, but I feel as though I don't deserve it. I haven't been the nicest person and I have absolutely no intention of being his friend. Now, I feel obligated to be his friend because of this gift. I'm not sure if I can accept this gift, but I dont want to return it because he might feel unappreciated.
My boyfriend told me at lunch today, "All he ever wanted was your friendship." So is he just being too generous with this extravagant gift or is he buying my friendship?
I really don't want to accept this gift but I would feel rude for returning it. Would it be rude to buy him a gift with the gift certificate he bought me? That is the ONLY way I would feel comfortable with accepting such a gift when I dont deserve this from him.

Friendship cannot be bought, it must be earned over time. And whether he wants your friendship or not is immaterial. I'd return the gift, telling him that you appreciate the thought, but that you don't feel comfortable accepting it. Who knows, maybe next year you'll feel differently.

Well let's see. Why exactly do you feel you've been the nicest person? Are there particular instances or is it just a feeling? So you don't want to be his friend becuase you're just not interested in befriending him, right? Personally, I'd get to know him some more. When he says hi and asks how was your week, you have a conversation, etc. If he does something like have you over for dinner, you can say no thanks and he should get the message that you aren't that interested in being his friend. And I suggest not returning the gift or buying him something with all of it.

"I have absolutely no intention of being his friend. Now, I feel obligated to be his friend because of this gift. "

Well, although it would have been better for you thus to have not accepted the gift certifacte, it is okay even now. It is understandable that you do not want to hurt the feelings or offend him in any way, thus accepted it. So, let's keep it at that and NOT LEAD HIM TO THINK YOU ACCEPT HIS FRIENDSHIP.

As they say, I've been there, done that. Though the situation wasn't as complex. An ex-friend of mine was going home, when she suddenly turned and out of the blue whips out a token for me_ in the common room, in front of everyone. Surely, me being one to create a fuss greatfully thanked her and accepted it. Later on (along with my best chum) I reasoned that it is best to not jump into something about which you are having wrong vibes.
Let's stay on the safe path; leave no room for regrets to enter and continue improving a healthy and friendly relationship you already have!
Good Luck saying no!
[Trust me, being honest is the best bet]
Pin~Jinx/anarchist honest to herself

[Post Script] In case my message wasn't clear enough, let me re enunciate : do not return gifts or no need to be extra nice to him. It was his choice to give you a gift, not yours. Fine you had the choice to decline it, but it would look much bad NOW if you return it. Nothing smug about it. Like, you didn't ask for it. Just focus on your guy.

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Originally posted by Pin~Jinx:


[Post Script] In case my message wasn't clear enough, let me re enunciate : do not return gifts or no need to be extra nice to him. It was his choice to give you a gift, not yours. Fine you had the choice to decline it, but it would look much bad NOW if you return it. Nothing smug about it. Like, you didn't ask for it. Just focus on _your_ guy.

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I like the way you put it.. you're right! By the way, I wouldn't have accepted the gift, but there were several other people in the room and I didnt want to make him feel bad in front of everyone!

Pleasure to be of help!

(Damn! Just saw my typo! I am [u]not[/u] one to create a fuss; else I would have blown my head off and would have incredulously gesticulated my appalled surprise. Seriously. WHAT DUMB NERVE SHE HAD! that too pretending to just remember off hand and in front of everyone)