I have this bad habbit and I don't know how to stop myself. Sometimes, people will sya things to me that hurt me a lot, but the thing is when I go to tell that person that he/she hurt me, I keep ending up being the one apologizing, and I just feel worse afterwords. I'll think of like every reason why the person would have done that thing, and apologize for every single one of them. I tell myself I won't do it, but I just keep on doing it.

Yafa, people get defensive when approached about something they did or said. If you are not strong and stand your ground, you'll often be the one apologizing. I've found this to be true in my marriage. He would do something totally inappropriate and by the time it was all over, I was the one saying 'I'm sorry'. It's crazy! I finally figured out that it's just a little manipulation on their part. No one likes to admit they were wrong and infact this is our problem, not theirs. You have to remind yourself that it was them that was in the wrong, not you. Maybe try a different approach next time this happens. Something like, 'you know how much I value our friendship, but something you said the other day really hurt my feelings and I'd just like to clear the air.' While they are defending themselves, which they are likely to do, just keep on telling yourself that they are just uncomfortable being called on a situation and that it's not you that needs to be apologizing, it's them. The next time this happens, make a deal with yourself that no matter what, the words 'I'm sorry' will NOT cross your lips. Remember Yafa, what you say out of your mouth, goes into your ears. Does that make sense to you? Everything you say goes right into your ears so naturally you'll begin to believe it.
Another thing is, you teach people how to treat you. I can't say that enough. I got it from Dr Phil, but it's so true. YOU and ONLY YOU teach people how to treat you. If you act like a door mat, you'll be treated like a door mat. If you act like a princess, you'll be treated like one, catching on?

You'll be okay, just keep on trying.

Yafa, it sounds like you are experiencing some passive/agressive tendencies. Someone hurts you, and initially you hold the frustration and pain inside, then you eventually confront the person.

By the time you confront the person, you may have worked yourself up into a real fit, so then you perhaps "fly off the handle" a bit, then you feel bad and wind up apologizing for your reaction. Is this kind of what you're talking about?

One way to combat this is to try to develop your own sense of security and calmness. When someone does something that upsets you, speak up at that time. Do not be emotional, be direct and calm. This way, you are addressing the action at the time the person has done it. They may have not intended to hurt you at all and if you address your feelings at the time it happens, you will be less likely to bottle up any hurt feelings and snap back at the person later. They also will have immediate feedback that what they did was offensive to you.

Does this make sense? Anyway, focus on speaking up for yourself at the time of the incident and you will be less likely to be apologizing later when you address the issue.

Good luck!

This one took me a long time to learn myself. It wasn't until I stopped caring what others think above my own values and thoughts.

If someone is saying something rude, point it out right then and ask for them to explain. Don't go into attack mode. Just say something like, "I think that was really rude for you to say to me. Would you please explain why you just said that."

Many times people blurt out something and don't think. Sometimes people are running you over because you are letting them get away with it. You have to toughen up sometimes and not let others stupid comments bother you. Choose your battles carefully. You don't want to be confrontational over every little thing.

I'm taking a guess that it is usually the same people that are saying hurtful things to you. If that is the case, you have to stand up for yourself immediately, not wait until later. If it is people in general, you might just have to blow it off to their saying something stupid and just forget it. It isn't worth getting yourself upset over.

You may be getting overly sensitive if people in general are the problem and need to put some priorites straight within yourself. Who cares what everyone thinks? I don't. I try to be a good person and treat people in a decent, respectful manor. If others don't, it's not my problem that they happen to be rude.