I am so pissed right now. My mom will not let me dye my hair jet black with lime green streaks! So, being the generous person that I am, I accepted this unjust fact and tried to compromise and say that I would dye it just jet black, without the streaks. But still, no! So I went even further, and said, fine, just black highlights, so it won't actually be dyed, just the overall appearance will be darker. So by this time you'd think she would agreed by now because I'd given up so many of my wishes. But outrageously, still the answer is no!!! I mean, how much more unreasonable can a person get!
And why, you ask? Because I'm not old enough. What!! Does she think I am all of a sudden going to be some "troubled teen", my grades will drop to straight B's and I will join a gang and commit hate crimes all because my hair has green streaks? Does she think if she allows this to happen, it will be the one mistake of her life and her only resort will be to go on Sally and send me to boot camp?
What is her reasoning? And what can I do to change it? Will bothering herabout it every time we speak work? Will leaving not so subtle notes everwhere around the house do the trick? What can I do to right this wrong?
Parents and teenagers across herport and answerpool, in the name of all that is good and holy, I have been wronged!
And I protest!!! Is this not an abominable crime against humanity and youth itself? Does this not go against the very princaples that our nation is founded upon, ones that men have fought and died to protect?! Rights that are embodied in our very cells as living breathing human beings!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this much I know. When your decent kid, straight A student, never taken drugs, had sex, been arrested for indecent exposure, or commited a murder 14 year old girl can't even do something so basic as dyeing thier hair, we know that this world has sadly come to a rotting shambles. ********************************************************************** 05-01-03, 01:03 AM SeattleRon I personally don't see a big deal with dying your hair. My parents never really cared when i used to dye my hair. I can't tell ya what the reason is that she won't let you dye your hair. Everybody says all the time it's my body and I can do what I want. My parents would say to me, your right it is your body, but it's ours until you turn 18, or the usual, while your under our roof you live by our rules. Maybe try a compromise or keep asking and eventually she might give in. Or you could just Do it Yelena, then it's too late. I'm not gonna recomend it, but If you do just do it anyway I'm sure it wouldn't be a big deal.
05-01-03, 01:21 AM esencia They are your parents. You live under their roof. They make the rules, and you have to obey them. Parents have resonings for everything. They don't want you to dye your hair, they don't want you too. Doing it anyway will only make it worse with your parents. Bugging your parents over and over again gets you nowhere. Trust me, I was 14 once too. If your parents keep saying no, it would take a miracle for them to change their mind. Until then, wait until your 18. 4 more years. Then dye your hair as you please.
I really don't think the world is going down in shambles because your parents won't let you dye your hair.
05-01-03, 02:50 AM Kalena Did she say why she wouldn't let you do it?
05-01-03, 06:50 AM clarebear There could be many reasons your mom doesn't want you to dye it. Damaging your hair is probably one of them. She also may think that once you start dying it, you will ALWAYS dye it. Do you change you mind often? Maybe she is afraid you will regret it. It could just be that she afraid you would look stupid with black and green hair. Let her know that there is hair dye that fades out in a few washings. Try getting her to let you try that for the summer. There is also spray on color that washes out. There are probably things your mom lets you do that your friends aren't allowed to do. Its tough being a teenager. Sometimes life isn't fair. Frown
05-01-03, 02:32 PM Runic StormCrow argh.... parents and their troubling answers, eh?
okay, so you can't dye your hair. that SUCKS. you didn't get to do what you wanted to. neither can i. i HATE THEM SO MUCH, they should find out what it's like to have stupid hair.
look, it's okay. hair is hair. let it grow, cut the crap out of it, tie it in knots, whatever. it's okay. everyone agrees, you didn't get what you want, and that's horrible, but it's not going to make your life crash and burn. you've lived so far, no?
try to see from your mom's eyes.
ALSO, i ABSOLUTELY HATE when parents reject ANY and ALL of the compromises you come up with, no matter how reasonable they can come to be. MY DAD WONT EVEN STEP INTO HOT TOPIC CAUSE "The music gives me a headache." TICKS ME OFF!!@! hate him so much... you know what? i think i'll write a huge rant about my dad, and how he sucks.
argh.
good luck anyways, heh! ^_^
05-01-03, 05:42 PM Yelena LOL thanks RunicStorm! I felt like I was taking crazy pills here!
No clarebear, she wouldn't let em do the spray on thing either!
I told you guys Kalena, the main reaosn is because I am not old enough. Another arguement for her is what will people think? I don't care! And neither should she! I want my black hair with lime green streaks, and if I care what people I don't even know think, then my name aint Yelena.
I think I'll dye it anyway. I don't think it will be a big deal once it happens, she just wants to put soem restrictions on me, called for or now. Either she'll let it stay like that, or get me an expensive dye job to cobver it up. Its a win win situation. Hmmm....
05-01-03, 06:42 PM jusork When you are born, you belong to your parents. They care for you and watch your back. You are theirs and they want you to grow up to be as productive as possible. When something looks even the least bit dangerous or wrong, they dread you being associated with it and if necessary will wish that you don't do it, whether it's dying your hair or wanting to drop out of school, both are not liked(and sometimes, for whatever reason, it's good they stopped). They want you to be a "normal" person. And everyone associates things that look wrong as things that are wrong or lead to wrong things and I think that's what your parents probably see. It's possible they may learn to accept these things though.
Keep in mind though(if this happens) that yelling and talking back get you know where. You have to be calmly if you explain.
Oh how glad I am to have such tolerable parents.
Good luck.
[This message was edited by jusork on 05-01-03 at 06:51 PM.]
05-02-03, 06:55 AM clarebear If you dye your hair without her permission she will no longer trust you. Trust is takes years to build and can be gone in mere seconds. Think about it. Life will be terrible if the trust between you and your mom is gone. She will question everything you do and say. If you think not being able to dye your hair is a major life trajedy... it will be worse! Its not worth it.
05-02-03, 08:54 AM Kalena Yelena, DON'T do it behind her back! Like clare said, she will no longer trust you and that will just cause a whole new set of problems later on. I'm not trying to take your mother's side on this, but you are my friend Yelena, and i wouldn't want to see you do something outrageous that could cause family problems with you. Instead, ask her what age she thinks would be more appropriate for you to dye your hair. It's not the end of the world, dearest, trust me. I was fourteen once too. Roll Eyes Just wait until your older. Please?
05-02-03, 03:33 PM SeattleRon if nobody rebelled ever or stood up for what they believed in we wouldn't have made any progress. If you really want to dye your hair do it. It's not like your getting a tattoo or a body piercing. Hair color isn't permanent. You're not joining a street gang or selling drugs. I say just do it. If you really want to do it. Sometimes one must do bad in order to acomplish good.
05-02-03, 04:45 PM Oceangurl Be careful what you decide to do Yelena. You say your mom will either accept it or take you for an expensive "fix it" appointment? You better be sure these are the only two options available to her.
You are very lucky to be in your family and not mine. If my mother told me not to dye my hair, and I "rebelled" and did anyway, she'd cut my hair off and make me start growing it over again. You're probably thinking "yeah right, I'd like to see her try to cut my hair off." Trust me my friend, she would and there wouldn't be anything you could do about it. Kids today are lucky that their parents don't beat the snot out of them like years gone by.
I have to tell you though, if my step-daughter came home with her hair dyed any color after her parents told her no, I would not want to be around for the fireworks. I cringe just thinking about it!
Fighting with your parents over something this trivial is dumb (not to mention totally disrespectful).
You're creative, find another way to be unique and express yourself.
And as for Seattle Ron, you're 21 now, you need to start thinking like an mature adult instead of a rebellious teenager. Mad
05-02-03, 06:50 PM LVLF Yalena, I know what you mean, as a parent I too have told the boys no because I'm afraid of what other people might think. Then, after years of learning the 'art' of parenting, I've discovered I really don't care what other people think, as long as my boys stay within the law, don't hurt anyone, etc. The thing is, as important as you think this issue is, which is not necessarily the color of your hair, but your right to choose, learn what battles in life are worth starting. Is the battle for the color of your hair, or the right to choose as important as the battle you will start with your mom? By dying your hair you will be drawing a line in the sand, challenging her to cross it, and she will cross it. Then you are heading for a long walk into the land of rebellion, and trust me, no one ends up happy. I, as a parent, have also learned to choose my battles, and frankly, I'd let you dye your hair, because it is not a reflection of me, or how I raised you...(your mom has obviously done a superb job raising you), but a step in the direction of self expression and finding your own identity. I try not to get into a battle of wills with my kids, it is too exhausting, and I find that they ask less of me and in turn I allow them more freedoms. Maybe that will work for you. Anyway, good luck, and Black with green? Ish, how about black with magenta?
05-02-03, 08:03 PM Prothero I was trying to think of ways you might find a compromise with your mother, when I read:
"...what will people think? I don't care..."
That is when I realized your mother may be right. Youth, including my own generation and all those going back throughout history feel this is a justified argument for a variety of things. Trouble is, it is rarely true. Usually the very thing they are arguing for establishes that they care deeply about what other's think. It is their obsession to create effect, fit in with contemporaries and quite often to establish independence. All noble enough objectives, but if you don't care what other people think, why should anyone respect what you think, including your mother?
Personally I see your request as harmless, but I am not your mother ~ it is her you have to work through this with. It doesn't seem like you have too long to wait until you can make the decision for yourself, but if your obsession is that strong, try to work it out. Doing it against her wishes will support her case stronger than your own.
Someday you may learn the world is going to be much harsher than your mother ever was ~ there may be a lesson to be learned in finding a compromise with one who loves you. Even if it means losing on this single issue for now.
05-02-03, 09:56 PM gatman I agree with Ron. I personally don't see the big deal with dying your hair. But what is wrong with your natural color?
05-02-03, 10:34 PM coldfuse Through this, you may learn to pick your battles. For now, respect your mom, honor your mom, rejoice in your mom, and let her finish her job of raising you the best she knows how. In this you will gain her trust and confidence and she will begin to see you as a grownup and not as a child. You will have many, many years to express your individuality as an adult.
05-03-03, 06:48 PM Yelena Pick my battles huh? Oh fine. You guys win (but just this one okay)! Wink
I'll dye it next year. Besides I'm planning on asking for a 12:30 curfew in a few months, and that's more important. Better to stay out late with plain ol brown hair then to stay in with green! Cool
[This message was edited by Yelena on 05-03-03 at 07:16 PM.]
05-04-03, 12:40 AM methos Sounds like a good decision Yelena. I agree with the picking your battles strategy. Works wonders.
05-04-03, 01:13 AM Kalena Good Yelena. The curfew is way more important! Wink
05-04-03, 11:34 AM Oceangurl Good choice Yelena.
05-04-03, 04:51 PM Kirby Lynn I think you made the right decision, Yelena. In the long run, this will be so much more beneficial rather than dying your hair without her permission and losing the trust of your parents. And 18 will come sooner than you think. Smile I'm still kind of shocked that it's almost here for me! But who knows if by the time you're 18 you'll still want black and green hair...
05-14-03, 02:55 PM mattlynda i have just one question. why did you want to dye your hair?
05-19-03, 12:07 AM Yelena 1. For fun
2. Because every other Armenian chick in the whole of Los Angeles has plain old brown hair and I'm sick of looking like everyone else.
3. So I can get stares from people on the street and stick my tounge out at them
4. For Fun
5. Did I meantion for Fun?
Evereything should be done for fun (hey that rhymed....that was fun haha see?).
05-21-03, 06:28 AM Elexina So you're that tongue-sticking Armenian chick I keep hearing about! Huh.
This is not for Yelena as you've already made your decision, but for anyone else who is thinking of dying anything: Fun is a great idea, just as long as you're careful and practical. Such a drastic action can affect other areas of your life, and can certainly severely damage your hair.
06-21-03, 09:06 PM Yelena Gues what guess WHAT! I won anyway!!! I just got it done, I have blue hair now!!! Well, not the whole thing, but about three inches at the bottom. I still can't belive she let me do it. I'm gonna have to cut it off before school starts though. Probably a combination of 1. as a reward for my grades, 2. because we're going on vacation and none of her freind here will see and because 3. I have really bad spilt ends at the bottom and I'm gonna and I'm gonna cut it off anyway.
All I can say is WHOO HOO WHOO HOOO!!!!
06-22-03, 07:27 AM SeattleRon Right On Yelena!!!! I"m sure it looks great!
06-25-03, 03:32 PM Yelena Thanks Ron! You're the only one who seems enthused about it. Big Grin
06-25-03, 06:49 PM mattlynda nuh uh! me too!
if i can ever get the money and time, im going for the green streaks. id do it at home, but im sure it will look much better done by a professional.
did you do yours yourself or get someone else to do it?
06-25-03, 08:54 PM Sherasi I wouldn't mind doing some odd designs and colors with my hair.. but as an RN, I have to maintain "decorum" suitable for a professional..Frown
06-26-03, 09:26 AM Texan-In-Exile Well Yelena - maybe your Mom just likes blue better than green! Big Grin
Congrats on a battle "won"! Personally, I may someday dye mine some outrageous color! (And I'm 51! Razz ) I'm glad you two could come to a compromise and that you didn't do it behind her back - trust really is an important thing that can't easily be mended when broken!
Right now, we're going through the EXACT SAME THING with our daughter - the one who also turned 14 in February - she wants blue hair! (I want her to join AP, but she thinks anything Mom likes is totally uncool! Roll Eyes ) My husband doesn't want her to, but he agreed...except I got to adding up expenses and found out it will cost quite a bit just to buy the stuff and do a home job. (The price would be outrageous at a salon!) Her hair is midnight brown, so she would have to completely strip the color. It is pretty long and thick, so she would need at least two applications of stripper, and also of dye. That adds up quick! I am concerned about her ruining the beautiful texture of her hair - but I know it'll grow out.
I guess my main gripe right now is that I'm worried that the color won't all come out of her hair. My son went through that, and came out with - well - calico hair! Roll Eyes (But he enjoyed it! Big Grin )
But y'know - after reading all of these comments again, I'm gonna talk to her Dad again and see what we can work out - maybe just the bottom of her hair...?
06-26-03, 12:35 PM Sherasi I think the bottom of her hair is a good compromise myself.... it won't destroy the entire head of hair with color-stripping...
06-26-03, 04:06 PM dogspit Tex should really like that style, cuz she is a bluehair herself ! Wink
06-27-03, 10:29 AM Texan-In-Exile Roll Eyes
No Dawg - "Midnight Brown" with streaks of "Moonlight Silver" - Which I will have 'til I dye! Wink
06-27-03, 11:01 PM Tree DOG!!!!
Leave TIE alone.. I think her hair is lovely!
Razz
07-03-03, 08:22 AM Yelena BOOO!! Guess who has Internet acess in germany? I do I do!!!
All the blue washed out in like a week and turned into this icky blueish green thing which I do not like Mad, and I was getting bored with it anyway, so you know how the entire bottom half of Avril Lavigne's hair is black (with the top blonde)? Well, now mine is brown with the entire bottom half hot pink! Its fregin awesome (and its good dye that doesn't wash out) Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin. I still don't know why the hell she's letting me do it, but hey I aint complainin. Probably cuy my dad liked the idea (Tex its exactlty the oppisite with me! Your daughter and I have got the exact same type of hair too. Razz)
Matt, my mom did the first job (the one that washed out) at home, but I decided to get it done professionally the second time around, and it paid off.
And as a side note, people, if possible, stay as far away from bleach as humanly possible!! It's horrible. EekI did not expect the damage t be half as bad as it was. But it was still worth it.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,
Posts: 1792 | Location: under the Bridge, california | Registered: 06-09-02
My mom will not let me dye my hair jet black with lime green streaks! So, being the generous person that I am, I accepted this unjust fact and tried to compromise and say that I would dye it just jet black, without the streaks. But still, no! So I went even further, and said, fine, just black highlights, so it won't actually be dyed, just the overall appearance will be darker. So by this time you'd think she would agreed by now because I'd given up so many of my wishes. But outrageously, still the answer is no!!! I mean, how much more unreasonable can a person get! 
