For myself. I didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family. My dad was a honorable military man. My mother working at a restaraunt as a prep cook.
I started drinking at such a young age. Not hard core. I had a conscience. Alcohol made it go away.
Long story short I started drinking really heavy at about 15 because that was when I really started getting heavy and deep into crime. It numbed my brains. When I'd get sober I felt bad about what I was doing to people.
I felt terrible about lying to my parents about where I was getting my money, how the hell was I able to help them out with a down payment on a house at 16 years old was crazy to them.
How does someone come up with $5,500 washing dishes at a buffet restaraunt?

They knew, ya know. They figured it out, but they didn't want to admit it to themselves. I blame myself. The more I drank and the more I got high, the more I wanted to do anything to get money.
I basically drink to forget and it got developed into my mind and now I'm 26. Alcoholism gets dug into your brains, and you get preset to have a drink. If not everyday, but when you see it around you.
Like I said before I hope to quit one day, but I don't know if I can. I quit cold turkey for 4 months , and I started getting nightmares. Of all the stuff I did in the past.
I don't know if I can quit completely, but I have slowed down a hell of a lot.

Ron, I read your post and it strikes me that you have a lot maturity for your young age of 26. Not many people realize the damage and the danger that this wild ride causes. It took me until I was 30 to realize I had a problem, so you're ahead of the game.
You will soon figure out how to whip this thing, because eventually you will decide it's a matter of life or death. Do you want to hide all those feelings away, or just face them and go on with your life?
Also, the nightmares are my biggest problem too. Mine are so bad, that I act out on them, so consider yourself lucky. At least they're not real, and you can wake up from them. You see, I have night terrrors, so don't think you are out there alone. Mine are from my childhood, and I guess I just can't let it go. I just am glad I don't have to live with the trauma I did as a child, always wondering when the big blowup was coming down. I would hide from the fighting, and pray that it would end soon. I still have to keep from running when there's conflict around me in the work area.
I don't drink and abuse drugs anymore, but I have to take an ativan before I go to bed. Otherwise I try to run and have fallen down my steps while sleep walking...yeh, real fun! But you know what, it's always a beautiful morn when you wake up sober, and not hungover. Life's a beach, or something like that, right?
Just as a side note, I have a brother who likes to party, older than me. It's so hard to see him go thru the drugs, not heavy ones....weed, pills, beer and liquor.(A drug is a drug, so don't think one is just as bad as the other.) I don't say anything to him about it, he can see it in my eyes. He just thinks he's not doing anything wrong, but reality is....he's not growing up. Stuck in his own selfish world, not taking care of himself, not doing the right thing. I just worry that if something happens to him, little sister will have to pick up his pieces. And that ain't right. He needs to make sure all his orders are in line, especially if he's messing with drugs, ya' know?

I know how you feel soaringhorse. Nightmares get so vivid for me sometimes. I would wakeup drenched in sweat and screaming like a banshee. I wouldn't go back to sleep for a couple days. It's been actually a lot better that past year or so. My nightmares stopped ever since I went to confession at Church on my Birthday. My ulcer got better, it's still hanging around, but it's way better.
It felt so good to tell every single thing I've ever done wrong to someone and do penance. I loved it. My guilty conscience is gone to nothing almost.

I think it was just too much of a cross for me to bear. I hated the person I used to be, and I think I was trying to kill it some how.
That person isn't me anymore. I obey the laws , do no harm to people,and make an honest living. I think it was just time for me to find a way to put that past behind me into a box and forget it.

Alcoholics Anonymous and the Disease Concept of Alcoholism

I thought this was an interesting paper when researching the question.

(note the reference dates for some of the comments which may be contrary to current medical opinion)