I know a person who used to drink to excess every time he/she went out (maybe 1-2 times a month) and then, several years into the relationship, started to get verbally abusive to his/her mate, only to apologize profusely for it the next morning. This caused lingering difficulties in his/her relationship, including mate's fear of becoming longterm partner to and having children with an alcoholic, and a great deal of distrust by the mate. The couple has discussed the issue and the person has cut down, however he/she still has a tendency very occasionally to abuse alcohol even after promising not to ruin mate's time at whatever event he/she had been looking forward to. They have a very nice relationship in every other way.

Is this person an alcoholic? Should his/her mate worry?

It is my opinion that an Alchoholic is anyone who cannot drink in moderation. People have images of alcoholics as always drinking - always being in a drunk state. But I know many people who are sober a great percent of the time yet when in an environment where alcohol is served will start drinking and don't stop until they pass out.

Commenting on the relationship mentioned in your post - I would have to say the mate does have cause to worry. Any abuse of a substance, whether constant or occasional, will cause wear and strain on a relationship. When someone is under the influence there is no telling what they are capable of doing or who they are capable of hurting. There are instances where money is spent irrationally, lives are put in danger, objects are lost, tempers are raised, etc. I know I would not want to live in a situation like that - even if it only happened once a year!

I agree with Georgia. Everyone occasionlly drinks too much, but if this person CAN NOT drink without getting DRUNK they have a problem. In a psychology class I had, the professor had said if your drinking... causes problems in your life, with your friends, work, or family it means you need to get it under control. May I ask is this a very young person? A lot of young people 18-23 or so tend to binge drink and grow out of it once they realize drinking to acsess just isn't worth it.

The person is 32 and has been vigilant about not drinking so much he/she gets drunk. Anyone else have an opinion on this?

I also feel that even if it occassional drinking to excess, if when drinking does occur it is excessive, then there is a problem. If the mate is concerned and afraid when drinking occurs it is a very big problem because it is affecting relationships around them. Persons with problems drinking often develop elaborate structures around drinking (eg: I won't drink on Monday-Thursday or before 5pm, I won't drink when Mother visits, but I can when Dad visits, those kind of elaborate plans) to "prove" to themselves they don't have a problem, that they can limit how and when they drink. These plans actually PROVE the problem, but it takes a serious look at themselves and get past the denial. See my link on Denial I wrote in another post on this or a very similar subject or addictions. Really, denial is an issue on any behavior that is out of control and affecting those around you. I hope this helps a bit.

Coming from a whole family of alkies{MOST DEAD.MY SON AT 34}.I've heard it repeatedly.it's not how much it's how you handle it.
i don't drink ,ergo with one half of a beer,I'm tipsy.Which could lead to a ditch and a D.u.i.
or worse murder.
The risks of drinking,are higher then any intelligent person wants to pay,or can sometimes...
Thank You!!

the way to put it would be if you think you have a problem then you probably do. if other people are troubled with your drinking you probably are. there are several diffrent ways to be considered an alcoholic. Myself I think I am, but I don't drink everyday. My problem is if there is no alcohol around I won't drink. If I see a six pack in the fridge I will drink the whole six pack. If I see 12 I'll drink 12, if I see 24 beers I'll drink'em all. I must finish every single drop of alcohol in the fridge and will not stop until its all gone. I'm an alcoholic in that sense, but I do not drink everyday and stay constantly drunk.