i have been clean for almost a year. I am really gald about that. I am having alot of emotional issues. Is it because i have used? Iam i screwed up for life? What can iexspect for my life. I need to know what i did to myself so i can make it right. Does anyone have any suggestions ************************************************* 08-12-06, 12:44 AM Sherasi Getting off any addiction is more than just simply 'getting clean'... often there were underlying reasons that the addiction began in the first place. For example, stressors in your personal, work or home life are just some reasons people begin to use.
Counseling and therapy are good ways to obtain help in identifying and managing problems in your life. I, myself, have used Psychologists to help me learn about and manage problems I have faced in my life.
Let me know how things work out for you. Congratulations on making this momentous choice for Health and Happiness.
08-12-06, 08:33 AM MrsS Join Narcotics Anonymous... you don't have to stay for life, but give it 6 months, at least. No, you are not screwed up for life, and huge, big BRAVAS for getting off and staying off... it ain't easy. I'll have 14 years behind me next month... the first few years were kinda wierd, but I can honestly say that I got my life back, intact... mended nearly all the fences that needed mending, cut all the ties that needed cutting,married, bought a house a couple of years ago, and I am nearly done with a paralegal course. Life is sweet.
08-12-06, 04:50 PM FredPuli Yes, try NA. I'm an alcoholic (we traditionally say 'recovering alcoholic' but I don't hold with such niceties )but an addiction is an addiction and it doesn't matter a tu'penny damn what the chemical is the principles are the same. The really important thing, whether you buy into the programme fully or not, is to understand that you are not alone. In AA meetings I go to sometimes there are three hundred or more people in the one room and every one of them is just like me (and every other addict). It is simultaneously humbling and cheering to find that you are not the only poor B....... in the whole wide world who has suffered, is suffering, the agonies and doubts, the fear and panic that you are suffering or have suffered.There's thousands out there ! Not every one of them out in the wide world has yet accepted the fact: you have.That's the first part done with and you haven't even started yet Big Grin
Nobody but nobody who has never been an addict has a cat's chance in Hell of understanding or helping you to help yourself. They've all been there, are there, and they'll never, ever, judge you.Others may love you, others may despair of you, others may be bewildered by you, others may give up on you, but they understand you. And unlike non-addict 'counsellors' and doctors they will never be mystified nor hold anything you've ever done or said against you whilst affecting to help you.
You don't have to say anything in meetings. Just listen, if you will (and be ready to be amazed by what you hear people say. You'll recognise an awful lot of it as you. You are not alone. )
I expect that NA runs like AA in that it has 'open' meetings where anyone can attend as a complete stranger, a newcomer, and see what it's like. If you don't like it ( and believe me liking any meeting is not part of the conditions: there are no conditions except a desire to be clean) then try another meeting.
08-14-06, 12:20 AM trying2makeit right First off i want to say thanks to all that replied. Your advice is helpful. I thought about going to meetings. I guess iam a little nervous about what to exspect. I really want to put all this behind. So I will look up a local meeting this week. I will let you know how it went. Drinking is hard for me rigth now. I do drink at least 3 times a week. Hanging out with ym sisters or friends. They all drink to get drunk. It was weird when my older sister said to me that i was acting strange. I asked why she thought that she said " you stopped drining and got quiet". My thoughts were yeah i stoped, you didnt, your drunk ass couldnt hear me anymore. lol. Well in conclusion I have bad days , it makes me feel good that i can let it out on hear and know you all are here. Thank you very much you are all appreciated and in ym prayers. Smile
08-14-06, 11:39 AM MrsS The meetings are not as scary as you might fear... I wound up in tears at my first meeting because uttering the words "My name is Shana and I am an addict" proved much more emotional than I had expected, but once past that hurdle, I found a wildly supportive, understanding environment that saved my life... I was an active member for a little over two years and it is largely thanks to the foundation NA helped me build that I've stayed clean. I now drink whenever the mood strikes me, and that creates no conflict for me... everyone's recovery is a little different, you may have a totally different path ahead of you than the one I walked. I highly recommend that you work the program for at least 6 months, no drugs, no booze, do the inventory, work the steps, before you start making other choices. It is good to give yourself that time to "reset" your patterns. Best of luck.
08-14-06, 12:28 PM FredPuli You were "braver" than I was Mrs S. The first time I had to have a couple of drinks just to have the courage to go through the door Big Grin If anyone noticed my breath they certainly didn't say. As I say they'd all been there too. But I saw enough and heard enough to slip out again later resolving that next time I'd go in, no drink, no worry ( no need Wink). That was some years ago and, in a short time, I did go back and it was the happiest thing I ever did, drunk or sober! And it is emotional yet, though I have no problem with the 'I am' because it seems so natural now. I never expect it to be but even now it is because I can never get by without thinking, when we have a moments silence for those still out there,that that was once me and hope that they find the place too.
08-14-06, 01:19 PM DvdGStwrt My suggestions are:
1. Go to AA/NA** meetings, get a sponsor* and start working a program.
2. Make an appointment with a doctor, explain to him/her that you are recovering from addiction and explain to him/her how you are feeling. He/she will be able to connect you with the right resources and mental health professionals who can help you deal with this.
Most likely you are suffering from a combination of three things:
1. Pre-addiction issues which you did not deal with and/or treated with chemical dependency. In program this is called “Self-medicating”.
2. Issues brought on due to your coke habit.
3. Very real, permanent and temporary chemical and physical changes take place while using/drinking. In many cases an early recovery program needs medical attention i.e. antidepressants to help readjust your brain chemistry to “normal”. http://www.depression-release.com/biochemical-aspects-of-depression.html states:
“Long term drug abuse has also been known to cause depression. Alcohol, opiates and chemical stimulants like cocaine can all cause depression.”
I assure of this, it will get better, and it will get easier. It is a process, sometimes it is a slow grinding process that wears you down over many years, some times it is a quick, overnight change – most often it is a series of minor changes along with a lot of insight gained through just living clean and sober.
* A sponsor will be a good shoulder to cry on – we all need a shoulder to cry on once in a while. ** AA for you if you are feeling like using, NA is full of potential connections who will be more than happy to help you to break your sobriety.
08-15-06, 12:22 PM SeattleRon Go with what everyone has said for a response so far tryinto2makeitright.... For me one of my biggest habits was cocaine. I loved it a lot. To this day I don't know if I can stay clean. What I recomend more than a shrink or a college ducated person, is someone to talk to that has been through what you've been through. I personally don't believe in a booksmart person helping. It never helped for me. If you want to talk go to my profile and email me.
08-15-06, 02:02 PM DorianGreyed " I personally don't believe in a booksmart person helping. It never helped for me."
You have to trust someone in order to let them hekp you. If a "booksmart" person is someone you distrust, for whatever reason, you will resist any attempts to let them help you. Help is a two-way street.
08-15-06, 03:49 PM FredPuli
quote: Originally posted by DorianGreyed: " I personally don't believe in a booksmart person helping. It never helped for me."
You have to trust someone in order to let them hekp you. If a "booksmart" person is someone you distrust, for whatever reason, you will resist any attempts to let them help you. Help is a two-way street.
It wasn't so much that I did not trust them and so resisted their attempts .I did trust them , in sincerity. But we did not understand. They can give advice and give explanations of the mechanisms of dependency, they can be sympathetic, they know the various stages of dependency, they may have witnessed those first hand in their studies, but they simply don't speak a language that we understand. It's like comparing someone who has learned French though books and in classes under English tutors and someone educated whose native language is French. Unless you've lived the life you don't have a true understanding of it and of the other 'natives' and you can't communicate with them well Wink
08-15-06, 03:58 PM DorianGreyed My point was that, regardless of any other requirements, the addict needs to trust the person helping him.
Trust me, I've lived the life.
08-29-06, 12:55 AM WikkdK
quote: Originally posted by trying2makeit right: i have been clean for almost a year. I am really gald about that. I am having alot of emotional issues. Is it because i have used? Iam i screwed up for life? What can iexspect for my life. I need to know what i did to myself so i can make it right. Does anyone have any suggestions
good for you!! Cocaine is one nasty one to kick,,,,
you are having emotional issues because you used to cover them up. and now you dont have the rug to hide behind and you are still dealing the deal... in other words, you did not get rid of your problems with dope, you only postponed them.
those who say NA/AA is gonna help you are right on the money,,,, quitting is one thing, but living clean and sober is really a challenge to those like us.
go to the people who know your problem best can help, thjose who have walked through it and live to tell the tale from a bright and happy purposeful future. As Addicts, we die alone, but we get better together. I know.... I have been in recovery ever since I stopped using drugs ... 12 years now... and I ont work on my addiction these days.. . I work on my emotional and mental health.
I'm getting better! and so can you!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,
