I was doing my Paid To Read emails this morning and I came across this site. I must admit, I'm pretty shocked. I am a recovering addict/alcoholic and I'm not sure this place would have helped me. I would have loved to have gone though! Seems they would have fed me what I was craving.
What do you think?
"Welcome to Summer House, the liberal and compassionate drug detox center. Our whole mission is to make detoxification comfortable for you! We accomplish this by giving you a liquid narcotic cocktail in reducing doses every four hours around the clock until you are clean. Our staff feels that any addict or alcoholic in need of medical detox has certainly suffered enough. WE WILL MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE! WE KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DOPESICK We know the horrors of delirium tremens and drug addiction. We know what it is to really suffer. No addict or alcoholic need suffer in the stifling confines of a generic drug treatment institution where your identity is reduced to a mere number."
Make sure you check out their Philosophy. Oh, the cost is $600.00 a day if you pay cash. They call it their scholarship rate.
http://www.drugdetoxcenter.com/?source=LookSmart ************************************************************* 02-26-06, 02:03 PM Sherasi This is not an uncommon technique.. I've seen it before. Another contravertial method is to put the addict totally under sedation for the entire time the drug takes to metabloize out of the system and return the patient to baseline (normal levels) of how a non-addict presents.
The thought being that addicts are so scared about facing the withdrawal that they will avoid getting clean to avoid the pain and discomfort. This way, they are unconscious and so have no discomfort.
The major criticisms of this are cost and, surprisingly, that very fact there IS no doscomfort. The opinion being that having such an "easy" transition to being "clean", that the recovered addict has not put any effort into getting clean, so may lapse easily into drug use again.
02-26-06, 02:20 PM Momma Angel The more I research into Summer House the more I see it as enabling an addict.
Satellite TV, four star dinners, sleep as late as you want, no mandatory meetings, no confrontation on your behavior? Yep, I'd have loved it. But, of course, I would have died. This kind of treatment would have done nothing but prolong my addiction and put off my looking at my responsibility.
03-02-06, 10:57 PM DvdGStwrt I quit cold turkey, well not actually, the first 4 months I tweaked ocassionally, then I go two months clean and sober then went back out and tweaked for a week, then went and almost got 6 months, but of course I tweaked... however that was the last time and now I am pushing 11 years.
It comes down to the desire to be clean and sober. If you desire it then you will basically find the method that works for you. I think most of the old timers I know went through a process of several relapses, even turning to "legal" drugs like alcohol, no doze, stay awake pills, col medicines, or "softer" drugs like pot for a while a transition period from being high all the time to being clean and sober.
Granted, there is hardly any physical withdrawls when it comes to coke or speed, but the mental/emotional withdrawls can be hell - getting sober is waking up in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.
Meetings (Program) usually becomes the replacement addiction for some people, and we know What they say about high relapse rates in program - so maybe that isn't the right road for most either.
I think different people hae different needs, this may be a program of adjustment that will work with some people, like NA/AA only works for some people - the rest are trying, but not guaranteed to make it.
03-03-06, 04:46 AM samantha Im not sticking up for the addict or for a gentle detox treatment but just reading all of this dont you think that by the time the addict gets to the point of this kind of help that the have already hit their low or tried about everyother thing there is to try? What is the cure rate on these people that have went through this type of program? I guess i was thinking of if the worse fear is the withdrawl physical symptoms then why not make that part easier if they can afford it? We all pretty much know that the physical symptoms are only the start and do NOT last that long its the mental cravings that are going to be the hard part. Though i think that meetings and all are good things to help one on one with their problems..
my brother is an addict and has been for years. We have watched him on and off on several occasions herion, meth , cank, crack uppers downers whatever he can get his hands on. He likes needles the best though. So anyhow, of course im concerned about him and the long haul of a drug addict. My brother has said maybe three times he is off herion now but then hes only substituting it for something else off the street. I know the first thing is they have to WANT to stop really bad to get off this stuff we don't understand why they just can't quit...anyhow whatever method will help im for no matter if the initial part is easier or not..because we all know really once you decide to stop and go through drug treament that is the easy part in some ways the physical part will pass in time but mentally ...
03-03-06, 02:01 PM DvdGStwrt Cure Rate: 0
Nobody is "cured" from an addiction. Interesting fact is that all substance abuse (including alcohol) causes physical changes in the brain, permanment changes. It sets up a life long change where actually going back out is hard wired in the brain.
The best we get is a life long program of recovery where, through what ever means we use, we keep from going back out and actually using. Even as far removed from my past use and abuse of drugs there are rare occasions when suddenly I find myself wanting to use/drink.
The Nephew thought getting clean and sober means that the cravings will never come back, presently he has 2 weeks, only because he will not accept that being clean and sober requires a little effort to steer clear of the addictive substance in the first place.
If you have never used drugs then you can not understand the feelings that come with them. All drugs that I have done have come with some pretty strong feelings, usually pretty good feelings and it is those feelings that the addict seeks.
EXAMPLE: A person in a meeting recently likened using drgs to the first time she had sex - the power of the feeling is one that you wish to do again, of course as with the First time with sex you actually never get that "first high" feeling, however each high you do get afterwards is so close that you believe that you can do it one more time and achieve that "first high" feeling.
Even today when I get a blood draw I get the "rush" of the needle: I call it Romancing the Needle - most IV drug users have a "romance" with the needle itself - this is not one of the things any recovery program faces directly, the focus is usually on the substance. Again, I can have blood drawn and just the stick and draw can reproduce the "first rush" in my mind.
This is how complex it is, its gets more complex when you consider those who, like your brother and myself, used all sorts of drugs - each drug comes with its own set of feelings.
In my Yearly Depressed Mode, I find that I am more attracted to the uppers (speed coke) and think about them more often - a direct correlation there of how we use drugs/alcohol to self medicate. Under times of stress when I want to relax, I find myself wanting to have a bit of vitamin V (vodka) to "relax". Most Drug Addicts/alcoholics have attending issues (mental/emotional problems) that is the root cause of the addiction in the first place.
NA/AA do not address those issues, I do not know of any program that actualy does. Most people in Program usually end up doing time with a therapist on their own, well at least those who have a decade or more clean and sober.
As a first start though, the program above is benificial in many ways, however its just a start. I have 11 years clean and sober, however I still work at that and I had to expand my recovery to other levels which on the surface does not appear to be related.
I do know that since I went for therapy to deal with other issues, the cravings are reduced. I also reduce the cravings whe they happen because I am aware of Depression = need for speed, Stress = Need for a relaxant. Being aware of the connections in one's self is key to the continuing recovery process.
03-05-06, 03:47 PM Momma Angel Dvd,
Thank you so much for that post! Yes, I agree with you. Anyone that has not been addicted just doesn't know what it's like.
I think that wanting that rush like you said may be what scares me about that program. If you put the smallest amount of drugs in my system it sets off a craving for more and more and more! This type of detox, as I see it, would not have worked for me. I do hope it works for some. I know we are all different but we are all the same in some respects.
04-14-06, 08:45 PM Wildflower63
quote: Originally posted by samantha: Im not sticking up for the addict or for a gentle detox treatment but...
Sam, not sure if I am misunderstanding you message by the way you put it out there or not. If there is a gentle detox for someone, give it to them!
I agree with you and other members, this does not sound like a fantastic way to go to me either. Addiction to alcohol is a tame withdraw compaired with other addictive drugs. If you have ever dealth with true detox, you will definitely know what I am talking about.
Decent people often fall into traps in life and find themselves addicted to something, whether it be drinking or even a script drug, during times of huge stress. People have no idea what is even wrong with them until they hit a nasty witdrawl. It is horrifying.
Many continue drinking, script drugs, or what they bought on the street, because the effects of withdrawl and detox are really that bad. So many people destroy their lives over it.
We are human and make big mistakes without even realizing it. The addict hurts themself. They very well may hurt others, but the walk away from that person because they can and often times should. An addict has to deal with life of insanity and fear of a wicked withdrawl.
People seem to think that you just quit drinking, doing coke, script drugs, etc. and you will be just fine. The fact is, even after an ugly detox that makes you wish you were dead isn't enough to scare anyone to be drug free. Drugs cause actual brain changes. Even after the detox, you brain has to recover, which can take two years. Scary?
Fear is why people often can't stop any type of drug use. Fear of withdrawl symptoms, fear of detox, and fear of the brain changes that will last a very long time is enough to make an addict give up. People are left with no mechanism to cope with life, continual stress/depression, and feeling of being insane.
Some drugs are worse than others trying to break an addiction. If there is an easier way, I would love to see it. I don't believe any addict should be punished for stupidity when they want to get off of any addiction, which is why I don't like the phrasing. That very well me a misunderstanding and I realize that.
04-14-06, 09:14 PM Momma Angel I'm glad you responded to this. It prompted me to remember to relay this.
I finally talked to a counselor there at Summer House and I must say, my mind has changed somewhat. I thought this was a rather lengthy stay but it's not. Usually the stay is 7 to 10 days and it seems they are very dedicated to finding support systems for those in recovery once their detox is over.
I was quite impressed with the gentleman I talked to. He had been clean for over 3 years I believe and he went through Summer House. He said it saved his life. And that, is what it's all about.
04-18-06, 04:47 PM FredPuli it's not unusual to give drugs in rehab. When I was in clinic for alcoholism they had me on drugs from day one. One drug was simply to stop me having fits on withdrawal. The other one I remember was a kind of anti-depressant which is especially suited to alcoholics. That was simply to let me down gently and was given in gradually decreasing amounts over quite a long time. That way coming off was painless and the other therapy that much more effective from an early stage. Had they simply left me without chemical help I would not have been in either the state or the mood to listen or think at all.
It is certainly right that only an addict understands another addict Smile The only counsellor whom I hated with a vengeance was the only one who'd never been addicted to anything.She was the only one of the staff who wasn't an ex- or recovering addict. She'd just read the books and done the courses (and was married to the house doctor Wink )
Once you have reached the stage where you are ready for help you may need all the chemical help you can get, just to help get you near sane for treatment.
04-18-06, 05:01 PM Momma Angel I hear what you are saying FredPuli. I had a long talk with the counselor. I told him this never would have worked for me. The tiniest drug in my system and I wanted more, more, more. I had to go completely cold turkey. Thankfully, I got through it with minimal damage, but I'll never forget how bad it was.
I am one of those that the "there is no easier, softer way" was made for. I would have just taken advantage of it. Thankfully, I don't worry about that today. But if this works, then I say to anyone that wants to try it, go for it. If you are willing to do anything to get drugs, you need to be willing to do anything to quit drugs.
04-25-06, 11:42 PM Wildflower63 You drunks are a bunch of babies!! Try being addicted to dangerous drugs your doctor scripted to you..
No, you drunks don't even want to go there!! That is way easy. You might like to be wasted, but being a script addict, all legal, from your doctor, is a very different game.
04-26-06, 12:13 AM Momma Angel Girl! I hear you! Boy, do I hear you! That was my initial reaction to this place. But, after talking to the counselor, it isn't as I thought. But still, it wouldn't work for me.
Give me one pill, one taste, I am off and running.
04-26-06, 12:13 AM DorianGreyed "You drunks are a bunch of babies!! Try being addicted to dangerous drugs your doctor scripted to you..
"No, you drunks don't even want to go there!! That is way easy. You might like to be wasted, but being a script addict, all legal, from your doctor, is a very different game."
Not so different for some. I suggest that you do some reading about Delirium tremens. DTs can cause sudden and severe mental changes (psychosis) or neurologic changes (including seizures). Hallucinations, heart arrhythmia are common, and death can occur. Mortality rate may be as high as 35% if untreated but is less than 5% with early recognition and treatment.* I have known a few people who went into an alcoholic coma and died.
04-26-06, 12:45 AM Momma Angel Thank the good Lord I didn't go through that! I cannot imagine how hard it is. I was blessed.
I never went through terrible withdrawal symptoms. I'm so grateful for that.
07-08-06, 12:58 AM Wildflower63 Using the word 'drunks' sounds terrible, but that is how the world looks at us addicts. It isn't any better for a script addict. Being called a 'drunk' would definitely upgrade opinion of me. People think I am using a doctor as a legal drug dealer. People look down even lower at script addicts thinking we knowingly take advantage and are loaded with excuses.
I called every number for detox in the phone book and I was told by detox centers that they could pull me off of my script benzos in 7 to 10 days, so I tried it at home. Sick doesn't come close to describing the horror and pain I went through only to give up after a week. Cardiac arrest and death is a risk detox off of benzos. The deep chest pain and fear that my kids would find me dead is what got me. I hate the fact that I went through something worse than Hell to give up. I had a real fear of death over a script drug.
I didn't go through anything that I wouldn't have with inpatient detox. In the Cincinnati area, every detox center in the phone book was called. They will keep you alive, but not anywhere close to tolerable pain. I don't expect detox to be pain free.
The average cost for a benzo detox is 10 to 15 thousand dollars for 7 to 10 days being told I would go home and walk into my own walls, but no longer addicted. I could find no government help for any addict. What I found is that it is financially devastating and physically painful worse than anything you could imagine. They only keep you alive and talk you though detox Hell. Not humane!
Many addicts are no longer functional enough to hold a job to pay for health insurance. If functional, but a miserable hostage of a drug, your health insurance my not cover detox. Many health insurance policies do not.
After detox, addicts can expect to be a screwed up disaster for quite a long time. How does anyone cope with this problem? How do addicts hold a job for the duration of time it realistically takes for your mind and body to heal?
Another member stated there is no understanding of addiction unless you have experienced it. How true! I was one of these people before I experienced addiction and drug sick for myself. At one time, we all were ignorant and not too understanding.
I thought addiction had choice. I thought a drinking addiction meant that you craved and wanted that bottle. I thought heroin must be all that because people will sell their soul for it. Even with my nursing experience, what I saw were people demanding drugs without any physical symptoms. Drinkers and druggies were offensive to me. They just want to be high and feel better than good. That really is the way people that do not understand addiction think.
I learned the hard way that addiction is no longer a choice. You actually need a drug to avoid drug sick doom. None of us understood addiction or we wouldn't have touched the things we became addicted to. We all found out about addiction way too late, after our body and brain depended on a substance to function even a minimal level.
Many addicts, fleeing no legal problem, only want their life back. I choose a selective coma before drug detox in 7 to 10 days so sick and wishing I was dead. Talking someone through this isn't all that helpful or humane. Understand the fact that most every detox unit is run by someone who does not understand addiction, just read about it.
Every addicts worst fear is the nightmare withdrawal. Be humane. Use any drug available to help people be reasonable comfortable to get off of an addictive drug. Given the fact that every addict will be psychologically and physically impaired, give every avenue of help and support available.
I fail to understand why our tax dollars are wasted on simple things, but will not help someone get their life back and be a productive member of society.
07-08-06, 12:41 PM Momma Angel Wildflower,
Since I posted tis originally, I've had to take a good long look at quite a few things. What others have posted about this has made me realize something I had forgotten. There is NO ONE WAY to recovery, is there? I was in that mindset of no pain, no gain. I hope I always am willing to listen to others and learn from their experiences.
Thanx for your post. It was awesome!
07-08-06, 05:34 PM Wildflower63 Momma, you can't imagine how much I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.
With one of my many phone calls, desperate to no longer be an addict, one phone call I found outrageous and offensive. Get this, an ex-heroin addict told me that 'I was not ready' over my concern of 10 to 15 thousand dollars.
I need the ability, as a single parent, to support my teen kids. I also need my owned house for my high school daughter and my 19 year old son who wishes to re-invent the wheel once he falls on his head and realizes he really does need an education.
No, I am 'not ready' to impoverish my kids, lose my house, or allow my kids to pay for my script addiction. You would think that an ex-heroin addict would be understanding, but no one really does understand addiction.
The vast majority of people really do believe that addicts should suffer a painful detox because we deserve it. I believe that addicts have suffered enough. Anyone going through the phone book for detox really does want help, not pain and suffering for a mistake made during a time of extreme intolerable stress.
Addicts are hurting deeply no matter if you used a doctor or self medicated the pain. We all had a valid reason for use of a drug that really did help us, at first. It never ends up that way. We didn't understand 'addiction' any more than 'I want' with high anxiety.
We didn't know the term 'drug sick' of withdrawal. We didn't know how a drug that helped us function will destroy our lives. We turn out to be slaves of a drug, no matter what it is, drinking, pain killer, tranquilizers, speed that helps you keep you job during a grand hardship that you can't even cope with.
I have no legal problems to use detox as something to hide from a warrant for my arrest or a DUI to look good in front of a judge. I am guessing, but feel that addicts look into detox because they are sick of being a prisoner to a drug or be so drug sick they wish they were dead.
Addicts want their life back, not to be ruled by addiction. Time in jail just might be enough for an addict to feel the fear of addiction knowing what detox really is.
In jail, no one will help them. Isn't it better to go to a detox knowing you have serious legal problems? Cops don't come get you there. These people already know jail all too well. They realize that they are going to be locked up in a cement cell while drug sick and detox without any help at all, with exception to inmates trying to help them through it all.
Public opinion of an addict is that we are all some low life and deserve what pain we get. People that are considered criminals of the 'Drug War' only sold to people that want to buy or only had a illegal drug for thier own use, but criminals equal to a child molester. Drugs sell themselves. Addicts are no longer able to hold a job, but need help in many ways, financial and humane detox.
Jail time or prison sentence doesn't help a drug offender at all. The 'Drug War' is hurting American people. Ignorance prevails. No one understands addiction and drug sick, but another addict. The judge doesn't get it. Detox centers are run by educated people who make the rules, but don't get it. There is no government help for an addict that is close to humane.
There really is no government help for addicts at all. People really do believe addicts deserve what pain we get when we really had no idea at all. I tried bezo detox at home and went back on the drug fearing my kids would really find me dead after a week of detox Hell.
Not a single person that became an addict ever thought any drug that helped them feel better with a better ability to function with real stress and responsibility in life. We were as ignorant as the people at a detox telling us, with careful phrasing, we knew what addiction really was and didn't care.
The 'Drug War' is insane! They will put addicts in jail, but there really is no means of helping us with our worst fear, drug sick. If it is ok to ignore addicts and treat them as criminals, why isn't there a government program to help non-violent people who are addicted?
Jail doesn't help any addict. Addicts who broke the law with drug charges live in constant fear of their own addiction, with no realistic means of help and detox in a concrete jail cell, with a horrid withdraw.
Addiction does not equate to being a selfish criminal who will use a gun to rob the liquor store for cash to support their addiction. Addicts still have ethics that will not allow them to hurt another.
Government propaganda says that any addict is a violent person, with no ethics. This brainwashing is far from fact. We are talking about non-violent people hit with a drug charge that never harmed anyone at all, which is the majority. Violent people are an exception.
We live in a wealthy country. Shouldn't there be aid for an addict who wants help? It doesn't exist! Addicts are not criminals even though drug laws have been broken and you end up in jail with full blown drug withdrawal and no one really cares. Even detox centers think we deserve to be punished with an intolerable drug sick withdrawal.
Government never has been able to stop drugs. Sorry, but the 'Drug War' lost. Help people with government aid. Do not make addicts that hurt no one beyond themselves a criminal. Do not ignore their serious detox symptoms while in jail. Help addicts!
You cannot tell me that our government can afford to occupy Iraq, but cannot afford reasonable detox that will help society with a humane detox. This is so wrong!!
Sorry about the novel length post!! I got on my 'soap box' with this topic. Forgive me!!
07-08-06, 07:59 PM jusork
quote: Originally posted by Wildflower63: The vast majority of people really do believe that addicts should suffer a painful detox because we deserve it.
That's a pretty heavy thing to say. The vast majority of people? What makes you think so many people believe addicts who want to get clean deserve any kind of pain? Just because addicts without much money have trouble getting help doesn't mean most people hate addicts. Don't make yourself feel like an outcast, now, Wild.
07-11-06, 06:05 PM Wildflower63 Please understand that I only recently understood what the term 'addiction' really meant. I am also quite talented at making an outcast of myself and that's ok with me. I do get on a soapbox over this issue because I feel very strongly about this. It is not my intent to insult anyone.
To get back on my soapbox, I find a serious problem with 'The Drug War' that has never done a single helpful thing towards society. It failed make a single dent in the many years of criminization of drug use that realiztically curbed any drug use. Our elected government representatives are ok with excessive taxiation and cost for non-violent people with a real problem, drug addiction.
My opinin, however strong, was formed after calling every detox in the Cincinnati area. I quickly learned the harsh reality of addiction and treatment.
I fail to understsand why an educated, experienced RN is not taught the reality of drug addiction. I do not understand why TV ads are using an egg in a skillet to deter drug use. I don't get why public schools will teach our kids safe sex, but use the DARE program as guest speakers telling our youth nothing more than 'don't use drugs' without telling them why.
The US people are told, "Drugs are bad for you." Well, so is McDonald's! Why did it take an experienced RN to have HBO On Demand to watch Methidonia to see what this particular drug really does to addicts? It is horrifying, but I never related that to my script, just methadone that is legally used to get people off of heroin.
I find it an outrage that our government is willing to fund a very expensive 'Drug War' without giving anyone realistic fact. I do not understand why the US government does not support humane drug treatment programs to all. The 'Drug War' was never successful.
I believe in a better way, humane drug rehabilitation. If cost is a big concern to government, imprisonment is much more expensive and doesn't work. Addiction issues have been known for many decades by medical professionals. Addiction isn't exactly a new topic.
I fail to understand support of 'The Drug War' when our tax dollars could be spend helping people get thier lives back, have a job, and not be a drug slave.
07-11-06, 06:10 PM Wildflower63 Please understand that I only recently understood what the term 'addiction' really meant. I am also quite talented at making an outcast of myself and that's ok with me. I do get on a soapbox over this issue because I feel very strongly about this. It is not my intent to insult anyone.
I find a serious problem with 'The Drug War' that has never done a single helpful thing towards society. It failed make a single dent in the many years of criminalization of drug use that realistically curbed any drug use. Our elected government representatives are ok with excessive taxation and cost for non-violent people with a real problem, drug addiction.
My opinion, however strong, was formed after calling every detox in the Cincinnati area. I quickly learned the harsh reality of addiction and treatment.
I fail to understand why an educated, experienced RN is not taught the reality of drug addiction. I do not understand why TV ads are using an egg in a skillet to deter drug use. I don't get why public schools will teach our kids safe sex down to condom use, but use the DARE program as guest speakers passing out free tee shirts telling our youth nothing more than 'don't use drugs' without telling them why.
The US people are told, "Drugs are bad for you." Well, so is McDonald's! Remember that TV show about that health freak on the McDonald's diet for a month, who felt like he was dying with rapid weight gain? Can I order some meth with my fries? I gotta go to work.
Who takes DARE or TV ads seriously? No one!! American people are not educated about the reality of legal or illegal drug use. Not a single one of us knew addiction until we got drug sick. How pathetic is this 'Drug War' if it only sends you to prison and does not inform the people who pay for this nonsense?
I find it an outrage that our government is willing to fund a very expensive 'Drug War' without giving anyone realistic fact. I do not understand why the US government does not support humane drug treatment programs to all. The 'Drug War' was never successful.
I believe in a better way, humane drug rehabilitation. If cost is a big concern to government, imprisonment is much more expensive and doesn't work. Addiction issues have been known for many decades by medical professionals. Addiction isn't exactly a new topic.
I fail to understand support of 'The Drug War' when our tax dollars could be spent helping people get their lives back, have a job, and not be a drug slave. I found out that there was no detox available, unless I had 10 to 15 grand to spare.
The people of the US should demand more.
07-11-06, 06:34 PM jusork
quote: Originally posted by Wildflower63: Please understand that I only recently understood what the term 'addiction' really meant. I am also quite talented at making an outcast of myself and that's ok with me. I do get on a soapbox over this issue because I feel very strongly about this. It is not my intent to insult anyone.
To get back on my soapbox, I find a serious problem with 'The Drug War' that has never done a single helpful thing towards society. It failed make a single dent in the many years of criminization of drug use that realiztically curbed any drug use. Our elected government representatives are ok with excessive taxiation and cost for non-violent people with a real problem, drug addiction.
I think you've got a good point. It's certainly an issue. And a lot of people agree that the whole drug issue is something that could use a lot of work. I really didn't think about it this much until now. I doubt anyone's actually insulted with your argument though.
quote: I fail to understsand why an educated, experienced RN is not taught the reality of drug addiction. I do not understand why TV ads are using an egg in a skillet to deter drug use. I don't get why public schools will teach our kids safe sex, but use the DARE program as guest speakers telling our youth nothing more than 'don't use drugs' without telling them why.
There's much more to drug education in schools than telling kids not to do it. We did learn why. I remember learning the names, intended purpose, and side effects of lots of drugs in health class through school. The American people are educated.
Do you still really think people hate you for being addicted to drugs?
07-11-06, 07:36 PM Wildflower63 Hate is quite a strong word! No, I don't thimk members here hate me for being a script addict. They hate what I post because a long term script and serious personal problems screwed me up.
07-11-06, 10:10 PM jusork Ah, well, you're not screwed up. You just need to get free of your addiction.
What exactly does 'long term script' mean?
07-11-06, 10:15 PM DorianGreyed
quote: long term script'
A refillable prescription
07-11-06, 11:52 PM Wildflower63 No, it's not all good. I have never taken addiction seriously. I didn't take my mood swings seriously either. I'm nice or mean. I never related that to a 'safe' script drug, until I tried to get off of it.
Would any one of you want your emotions to go up and down, never anything in the norm, over a script drug? I seriously doubt it.
Because it comes from a doctor does not mean this is ok. I learned the hard way, years later.
07-12-06, 12:17 AM Momma Angel Hey Wildflower!
So good to see you and what marvelous posts. The thing I like the most about them is their honesty. I know when I was active in my addiction honesty was something I didn't even know the meaning of.
I was addicted to prescription drugs myself for a long time. I suffer from chronic migraines. Well, I didn't used to suffer, I medicated until I passed out. Now, I suffer and I will gladly do it to keep from going back to drugs!
Unfortunately, most of the new medicines I can't take because of high blood pressure. But, I'm doing ok. I do the best I can.
Addiction is a terrible thing. It may be a disease but the symptoms still have to be dealt with. Having an addictive type personality isn't easy for anyone; the addict or anyone around them. It's constant hypervigilance just to be sure you aren't being hypervigilant! And, any addict can understand that statement.
You seem a bit tense about things right now Wildflower. If you ever need a friend to talk to, one who has been through what you are going through, please feel free to contact me.
07-12-06, 06:38 PM Wildflower63 I don't think that any addict off of a drug should have to deal with complications. As an addict, you still breathe and have a pulse it is ok? No, this is far from acceptable to me or my treatment of patients. The medical view of addicts is we suffer because we deserve to. I know that I am not wrong about this attitude. I used to think the same way.
There really is known medical help out there, but once labeled a drunk or drug abuser, script or not, no one will help you in the medical community. I have seen it with my own patients, who I found annoying addicts just wanting to feel better than ok.
I know, for fact, that you are hospitalized over a car accident, but tell a doctor you have a history of a drinking problem, no matter how many years sober, you will not get adequate pain relief. You get to suffer, while everyone else gets a script to make the pain tolerable.
I was one of those who used to think an addict was an annoyance wanting to abuse anything they could get their paws on. I really was not that compassionate, which I now feel shame for this attitude.
I have never seen any symptom beyond 'I want', but did not know anything about drug tolerance. Nurses demand Atavan for drunks because we don't feel like dealing with them continually complaining, even though none of us has actually seen DTs. We just tell docs we want this and why.
RNs do usually get what drugs they want. I didn't know these addicts were actually suffering, while ignoring their complaints. I thought they were drug seekers, which I would have no part of. My time isn't something that I have to spare for an addict that will not leave the call light alone. I had no idea of their suffering or wouldn't blow them off.
Script drug addicts are treated even worse, if you happen to get hurt in a car wreck. Drinkers get something to calm them because nurses don't feel like dealing with the possibility of DTs, which is a very rare occurrence. Nurses know this, but don't want some addict continually hitting their call light. Drugs shut people up.
Script addicts are seen as people who take advantage and suffer, no matter what the problem. RNs cannot agree with their vast demand of drugs that an addict request. We don't get the difference of drug tolerance or addiction and need of anything more than a person that never took anything stronger than Tylenol.
I have seen enough of it to know fact of medical treatment and attitude towards any addict. Why should you suffer with intense headaches when there are drugs available to help you? I know! You were too honest.
I suggest to anyone with a history of addiction to lie. This is the only way you will be treated humanely, like any other person with a valid problem. Please, take my suggestion of a lie seriously, if in need of medical care. Otherwise, you get to suffer when others are treated for the exact same problem.
Momma, I strongly suggest a different doctor. Deny any addiction issues. You will be adequately treated for headaches. You deserve medical treatment, not continual pain.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,
I suggest to anyone with a history of addiction to lie. This is the only way you will be treated humanely, like any other person with a valid problem. Please, take my suggestion of a lie seriously, if in need of medical care. Otherwise, you get to suffer when others are treated for the exact same problem.
I have NEVER lied to a health care provider about any aspect of my medical history and I've NEVER been given sub-standard or unkind treatment by any medical professional. If I ever had been treated badly, I'd have first lodged a complaint with the supervisory staff of the practice or the local medical board, then if that did not solve the problem, I'd have found another provider. If recovering addicts lie and hide in corners, there is zero chance for providers to learn how to appropriately deal with the special issues of such clients. I have had two dentists and a physician ask permission to use my medical history and dental charts as teaching tools, and I agreed on the condition that my name was redacted to "Janis Doe" There are two classes of professional you must always be straight with, your doctor and your lawyer. They cannot do their jobs without accurate information. ********************************************************** 08-13-06, 06:20 AM Wildflower63 MrsS, did you ever have the need to lie about a past addiction problem to your doctor that does not reflect on your health care at all, yet denied needed pain killers or other drugs you may temporarily need, for reasonable medical care? Are you a former addict?
Other than being honest with your doctor about a past addiction problem, you better be honest or may end up dead. Lying about a past addiction gets you humane treatment. Docs think if you had a past drinking problem, you will abuse pain meds after surgery and you get to suffer. That's not right, but the way it is!
I don't lie to my lawyer either!!
08-13-06, 09:30 AM MrsS Yes, I am an addict... 14 years clean and nope, being straight with my doctors has never compromised my care.... there has been more discussion than usual about choosing painkillers, which I consider a good thing. My scripts get written for no more than one refill, at my request, special care is taken with any treatments that are known to affect liver function and after explaining my past, they stop trying to convince me that I should consider antidepressants... I did not claw my way out of the bag only to enslave myself to another substance. I will deal with my depression, thanks. (Mercifully, it is mild- if it ever escalates for a significant period, I will reconsider)
08-28-06, 01:05 AM Wildflower63 I don't understand why you call yourself an addict 14 years later. You are not an addict, but may have been a long time ago.
08-28-06, 09:11 AM MrsS If you believe that, Wildflower, you understand NOTHING about addiction.
08-28-06, 09:41 AM aminator2002
quote: I suggest to anyone with a history of addiction to lie. This is the only way you will be treated humanely, like any other person with a valid problem. Please, take my suggestion of a lie seriously, if in need of medical care. Otherwise, you get to suffer when others are treated for the exact same problem.
Note to self - never go to hospital that WF works at.
Does it occur to you that perhaps the reason all the people around you are such ******* is because you work in a real crap hospital that isn't like the other hospitals in this country? I mean from what you describe, you should not even be a nurse... the standards that you are applying to care are reprehensible. That you understand nothing about addiction is ridiculous to me. You should as a medical professional and apparently it is only through your own selfish experience that you've gotten an inkling of empathy.
It's downright pathetic.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Silja, 08-28-06 06:07 PM
08-28-06, 10:03 PM Wildflower63 What am I supposed to have to say to these blatant insults? If childish name calling is all you can do, maybe you should shut up and listen up!
Go right ahead and be arrogant. Insult others when you run out of valid debate. That always wins a debate, right? When you run out of words, use insults. That works!
If it makes you feel superior, have fun insulting me.
08-28-06, 10:36 PM jusork
quote: Originally posted by MrsS: If you believe that, Wildflower, you understand NOTHING about addiction.
Could you explain it to me? Isn't an addict someone who is currently addicted? Are you still addicted?
08-28-06, 10:50 PM MrsS Jusork, the nature of addiction is such that most addicts, myself included, are never really free of their addiction... to be free of it, really free of it, would mean that I could stop leaving great parties the moment I even THINK someone asked if I'd like a "little something", it would mean that I would not have the most horrifying flashes of how it used to be when I catch the odor of certain household cleaners... I could take allergy meds without having nightmares... But the fact is, if I ever forget what I did, I run a strong risk of falling right back into the trap, I fought like hell to get my life back... and it's a good life, a really good life but fragile... I know that the next line I snort, it all comes down like a house of cards in a strong wind... No, I do not use drugs anymore, I have not for a long time, but the need to continue to monitor myself for old habits, old patterns means that I am still, technically, an addict. Darlin', you and I don't always see eye to eye,and I know what I just said probably made very little sense... My most sincere prayer at this moment is that you never, never fully understand it.
08-28-06, 11:11 PM Wildflower63 What makes MrsS any more intelligent that the rest of this group? My grand apology. I didn't realize you were such an addict.
Given the fact that I have been corrected by a real addict, off the street, my script isn't exactly the same problem as MrsS has.
I have been corrected. MrsS is the true addict and street buyer of addicting drugs. Listen to her. She knows all about drug addiction and got lucky that some guy she screwed for drug money actually married her.
I do apologize. Listen to a true street addict, MrsS. She knows all about street drugs and addiction. She also knows what an addict will do for more drugs, like prostitution.
08-28-06, 11:53 PM WikkdK
quote: Originally posted by Wildflower63: You drunks are a bunch of babies!! Try being addicted to dangerous drugs your doctor scripted to you..
No, you drunks don't even want to go there!! That is way easy. You might like to be wasted, but being a script addict, all legal, from your doctor, is a very different game.
oh what do you know? you need to get a reality check
ALCOHOL is the ONLY DRUG that you can die from detoxing off of.
08-28-06, 11:58 PM DorianGreyed "What makes MrsS any more intelligent that the rest of this group?"
I don't know, but part of it may be that she paid attention as her life went on. (Something I highly recommend to everyone.) But, whatever it was that made her so intelligent, I am grateful that she is around. Her opinion is almost always right on the money, and her advice is generally welcomed as words of wisdom. I wish that I had a friend like her when was young and foolish. (Now that I am old and foolish, it doesn't matter as much.)
08-28-06, 11:59 PM WikkdK ADDICT'S DREAM OR NIGHTMARE??????????
quote: Originally posted by Wildflower63: What makes MrsS any more intelligent that the rest of this group? My grand apology. I didn't realize you were such an addict.
Given the fact that I have been corrected by a real addict, off the street, my script isn't exactly the same problem as MrsS has.
I have been corrected. MrsS is the true addict and street buyer of addicting drugs. Listen to her. She knows all about drug addiction and got lucky that some guy she screwed for drug money actually married her.
I do apologize. Listen to a true street addict, MrsS. She knows all about street drugs and addiction. She also knows what an addict will do for more drugs, like prostitution.
thats ok, betty crocker here seems to think she has a clue... but pillpoppers lie cheat and steal just as lowball as the rest of any addict... an addict is an addict is an addict,,, the only difference is the DOC (drug of choice) and that can be anything at all.. INCLUDING attention!!! arent you prostituting yourself to the doctor by snivelling to the MD and exploiting your insurance... if you had any morals at all, you would stop going to the doctor...
oh but it isnt that easy is it?
you need to get a taste of reality.
Edited for content.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed, 08-29-06 12:02 AM
08-29-06, 12:04 AM WikkdK
quote: Originally posted by Momma Angel: I was doing my Paid To Read emails this morning and I came across this site. I must admit, I'm pretty shocked. I am a recovering addict/alcoholic and I'm not sure this place would have helped me. I would have loved to have gone though! Seems they would have fed me what I was craving.
What do you think?
"Welcome to Summer House, the liberal and compassionate drug detox center. Our whole mission is to make detoxification comfortable for you! We accomplish this by giving you a liquid narcotic cocktail in reducing doses every four hours around the clock until you are clean. Our staff feels that any addict or alcoholic in need of medical detox has certainly suffered enough. WE WILL MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE! WE KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DOPESICK We know the horrors of delirium tremens and drug addiction. We know what it is to really suffer. No addict or alcoholic need suffer in the stifling confines of a generic drug treatment institution where your identity is reduced to a mere number."
Make sure you check out their Philosophy. Oh, the cost is $600.00 a day if you pay cash. They call it their scholarship rate.
I think it's terrible that some selfserving agency is selling bandaids for shrapnel wounds at the price of any promising future.
I never met ANYONE come out of a candyass recovery like that one and stay clean for any length of time.
the ONLY way to get and stay clean is to have a complete transformation of a spiritual nature, for addiction is not a moral issue, but a real illness.
administering librium to alcoholics is to keep them from dying from withdrawals
anything else prescribed to any other type of drug addiction is like giving cake to a diabetic
08-29-06, 03:29 AM Karrow I have just posted in another thread reminding members that personal insults, being overly aggressive and name calling are against the rules. Now I find I have to here! I hope everyone is taking notice as there is a limit to my patience! Roll Eyes
08-29-06, 07:06 AM MrsS
quote: Originally posted by DorianGreyed: "What makes MrsS any more intelligent that the rest of this group?"
I don't know, but part of it may be that she paid attention as her life went on. (Something I highly recommend to everyone.) But, whatever it was that made her so intelligent, I am grateful that she is around. Her opinion is almost always right on the money, and her advice is generally welcomed as words of wisdom. I wish that I had a friend like her when was young and foolish. (Now that I am old and foolish, it doesn't matter as much.)
Funny... I've sometimes wished you had been available when I was young and foolish.
Wildflower... do the math... clean 14 years, met my husband 7 years ago. You come at me with the truth anytime to have some to share, but do not insult my husband when you feel cornered. You might note that I never took issue with your assertions that drugs didn't automatically destroy a person's morals. The reason I never took issue with that is that I agreed. For all my regrets about what I did to my poor body with the poisons I played with I never, never handed it around like a party favour.
08-29-06, 12:44 PM FredPuli Perhaps it is only fair to point out that reputable rehab places administer drugs to help with the withdrawal. Even alcoholics are given drugs to stop the worst effects, some of which effects can be very dangerous. It sounds as though the 'candyass' treatment described above simply lets the sufferer down gradually before starting the true rehab, a process which does indeed involve a big change in thinking and self-awareness.(I feel sick at the very word 'spiritual'or the words 'God' and 'Higher Power' in this context, even after years of sobriety, but if those words mean anything to others then that's fine by me. If it works, it works, though I could never quite get over the idea that God let me into this mess and wasn't likely to change His attitude in a few weeks Big Grin)
08-29-06, 02:29 PM jusork
quote: Originally posted by MrsS:
Darlin', you and I don't always see eye to eye,and I know what I just said probably made very little sense... My most sincere prayer at this moment is that you never, never fully understand it.
It made sense. I won't ever take such harmful drugs. I can imagine how bad it would be. I was just curious about what you meant.
And Wild, why wouldn't I listen to her? Why so easily doubt her experiences? Is it that unlikely that getting clean wasn't such a problem for her? Maybe it's this attitude of yours that caused Ami to become so irritated with your arguments.
08-29-06, 03:33 PM MrsS
quote: Originally posted by jusork:
It made sense. I won't ever take such harmful drugs. I can imagine how bad it would be. I was just curious about what you meant.
Glad to hear it... You're always so curious about everything and you possess a need to "know" like few other people I've enountered, and for a great many people that kind of open curiousity can be the opening to a very hard fall... I'm sincerely happy to hear that this is not an area where you'd want firsthand knowledge... it is just so not worth the price.
08-30-06, 08:55 PM Wildflower63
quote: Originally posted by MrsS: Wildflower... do the math... clean 14 years, met my husband 7 years ago. You come at me with the truth anytime to have some to share, but do not insult my husband when you feel cornered.
MrsS, I did come at you with honesty. You acted arrogant about knowledge of addiction. You really don't have to be a street drug buyer. Your own doctor can and will make and addict out of you, as my well intended doc did to me.
I do apologize for what I had to say, but you acted so superior about addiction and insulting towards me, I gave up. We do need to stand together and stand strong to help others from what we experienced.
You were young and thought drugs wouldn't hurt you. I did the same thing, but used different drugs and never knew a sober moment from 13 years old to 17. I just stopped, without even thinking about it.
One day, it happened to be the same day or such repetition, chasing a high. I passed up the weed. I didn't want it. I was so sick of my life being about nothing but drug associates, not true friends, and the continual pursuit of another high.
I did any drug, but was addicted to none. I had no drug withdrawal issues at all. There was never a singular day that I was ever a sober person. I'm talking a teen that got sick of it all.
I ended up losing all of my 'friends'. People insulted me for my sudden decision thinking I was being insulting to them as 'better than'. I wasn't even old enough to vote, but confused and screwed up by constant drug use. I was not an addict.
I went to vocational school, the only thing I could actually pay for. I quickly found out I was still worth minimum wage. I got married and had kids. I do not believe in raising kids anything but sober. I do think is all good if parents send kids to grandparents and drink till you drop. The next morning, I am in no condition to deal with small children, so make sure kids can spend the night with grandparents.
We shouldn't insult each other, MrsS. We should try to help others or prevent them from our problems of drug use. I honestly don't think you are a bad person at all. I felt very insulted by your posts.
I am no 'Drama Queen'. I do have very difficult family problems and a pressure cooker job. It isn't easy. I fail to understand why we are busy criticizing each other when we should be helping others.
I am very sorry, MrsS, for any disrespect I may have given you. Please, respect me, as you wish to be treated by others, which you failed to do towards me. I don't take insults well either. We should be working together to help others, not some stupid cat fight.
08-30-06, 10:01 PM MrsS Oh, my... let's see... I never called you a whore, and while I don't think it was unfounded, I never called you a drama queen. If you believe that you can actually leave your addiction behind you and walk away unscarred, more power to ya, but for me, and millions, yes millions, like me, that is not possible... I will always be an addict, no matter how long I have been clean and accepting that is part of how I stay clean. If that's not your reality, fine, whatever works for you, but you were coming off like you know all there is know, and you don't. If you were able to just stop as you describe your youthful flirtation with drugs, that's great and you are incredibly fortunate but you don't get to dismiss my reality because it does not match yours and your outrageous statements about meth show very clearly (thank your stars) that you have no realistic knowlege about that particular substance. Your advising people to lie to their health care providers was reprehensibly irresponsible, especially for the recovering speed addict... meth does damage to internal organs that a doctor must know to check for before prescribling a wide variety of drugs, and it helps a doctor make appropriate prescriptions when certain compounds might be emotionally taxing... I can't take most antihistamines because I have nightmares triggered by the side effects, which are reminescent of meth... talking to my doctor about this made it possible for us to work together to find something (Rhinocort) that actually gives me some relief... if I'd lied, I'd still be weeping and sniffling through half the year. You don't lie to a doctor, you find another if you feel you're not recieving decent care.
Your doctor made you dependant with your full cooperation, you did not ask questions or pay proper attention to the written material provided or check the PDR... this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say you do not accept responsibility for your own life...Until you accept full responsibility for your own choices and actions, your life is never yours to control, as long as someone else is to blame, someone else is in control... you only get one life, take yours back! (I mean that in, believe it or not, all honesty... not that it is easy, but it is crucial)
And I actually meant no insult when I said nothing will get better for you because you don't move to make it better... that was just an honest observation based on what you've told all of us... you allow a problem to overwhelm you before you try to solve it, and so move from crisis to crisis instead of moving forward... I want you to forget that it is me typing those words and consider them cooly, as if you had just read them in some advice column or as a "space filler" quote... but think about them.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MrsS, 08-30-06 10:16 PM
08-31-06, 10:17 AM Tulula Wildflower I have tried so hard to ignore your posts, but they are almost like train wrecks for me -- I don't want to look, but I am simply fascinated that you appear to be so naive in this area. In my opinion -- MrsS IS correct on many levels, and you are thinking like a typical "active" addict.
Now be sure to understand that I am NO addict, street or script -- and, I do not profess to be be an expert in the area. But, I have been extremely active in assisting my daughter who IS an addict (not active -- but a lifetime addict nevertheless - and we do tell the Dr.'s as well because you DO need to be honest in order to get the proper help) face her demons, change her life, accept her weakness, grow from that weakness, learn to accept herself and become proud of the young women that she has become (warts and all) Big Grin.
I have posted information regarding my daughters addiction on another topic that you initiated, and I also stated on that other post that I believed your thinking was not correct and I believe this even more today than I did when I made that observation previously.
Please, please go see a counselor or to some drugs anon meetings because you do not appear to see that your patterns are those of an addict whether you are a script addict or a street addict. I am keeping you in my prayers on many issues because you seem to have a problem stepping up to the plate and taking ownership of your issues and you just can't do that when you want to gain respect from anyone on any level.
08-31-06, 11:16 PM Wildflower63 If I am disturbing the members here, I will just give you guys a break and not post for a few.
Happy now?
09-01-06, 08:33 AM Tulula Wildflower, I am sure that's not what I meant, I can't speak for anyone else, but I was merely trying to help you see that maybe you should view things from a slightly different perspective.
You keep blaming your life circumstances on other people, other things, etc., and really it doesn't matter whose fault it is, it matters only what YOU do about your life circumstances.
It's your responsibility to be responsible for yourself!
Don't run away from here because you're not happy with some of the responses you have received. I think most of the people who have responded to your posts care that you do find a way to be happy in your life.
Growing pains are never pleasant -- and you yourself have admitted that you are entering a different stage in your life -- I think people here are just trying to provide you with some perspectives that you may have not examined yet - you did ask for advise you know -- and in my opinion -- for the most part, you have received some excellent and caring advice.
09-01-06, 11:50 PM Wildflower63 Actually, I have given it a lot of thought how things got screwed up. I believe we all make poor choices at times or may not act on something we should have. Later, you don't know what hit you or why.
I know exactly how my life ended up a bad soap opera. It is caused mainly by my 'inaction'. I left my husband when my daughter when she was five. Soon she will be 16. At the time, I didn't see it as a huge problem not getting a divorce with a marriage that was not going to work for either of us.
My husband gets a bit expensive to divorce. I gave up three times. My mistake of 'inaction' gave me a very complicated life today. For example, to this day my husbsand and I go at it over a house that should have been sold ten years ago.
I didn't make a clean cut and a better life for myself over divorce stress and financial burdon. I am dealing with issues that should have been settled ten years ago.
I am guilty of 'inaction' with my son also. All the signs of a huge problem with him were there. I was always making excuses for his behavior. Today, I have actually disowned my own son. This is such a difficult decision for a parent to make and the pain of going there hurts more than you would believe.
I failed to be harshly strict, which is what parents have to do with a Wild Child always causing a problem at home, school, and law. I failed my own daughter ignoring her good behavior because my son caused another big problem. It taught her the wrong message. I wasn't stupid twice.
It will take time, but I believe that she will understand why I am watching the small stuff she does or doesn't do. She doesn't feel it is fair to her with my rule change. It's just that I wised up and stopped buying lies and manipulation.
I am paying, in grand form, for 'inaction'. I had no idea what this would make my life a decade later. I did what I felt was right by my family. As it turned out, I was mistaken.
09-02-06, 07:01 AM MrsS Wildflower, I almost don't want to reply for fear you'll take it wrong or that you simply don't want to hear it, but BRAVA!!!! Sincerely! Inertia can be it's own evil, and I'm genuinely happy to read that you have taken inventory of how that trap caught you...In my last post, this is the kind of thing I meant about owning your responsibility being part of regaining control of your life. That part I really did not mean in a "witchy" way, and I'm delighted to see you saying these things, not because I'm getting some kick out of you making a public declaration but because saying it out loud seems to be a big part of the process... a part I tried hard to avoid when I was working my steps, I was perfectly happy to make the fearless and searching inventory but I was awfully balky about the part where you must share that inventory with someone else. Ownership equals a much greater degree of control and I'm thrilled to see you taking some!
09-02-06, 06:05 PM Wildflower63 I have no problem with you, MrsS. Don't be afraid of writing honesty, not what one wishes to hear. Disagreement isn't a bad thing. It makes you look at another perspective.
I know all too well why I have huge financial and family problems. I backed off of a divorce when I should have paid the expensive lawyers and settled this matter years ago. At least I wouldn't live every day with ties to the past. I didn't think it was a big deal, at the time. It is a very big deal not simplifying your life or it just gets harder and more complicated.
There is no marriage that can be worked out. We are such different types of people who want vastly differing things out of life. This isn't a marriage with problems that can be worked out.
I never realized that marriage, as I saw to be nothing more than a legal issue, could have such a profound effect on kids. Because of my 'inaction', I raised two confused kids alone. I had no idea that lack of divorce confused kids with boundaries they could understand.
I was always the one who took on responsibility until my brain felt like is was bleeding. I ended up in a psychiatrist office so stressed out that I couldn't function. I ended up a script drug addict. My failure to draw a line that is easily understood by all not only overwhelmed me, but confused my kids.
Today, my daughter has disowned her own father for lack of participation in her life. I have disowned my son for being a horrible, unethical person. I failed to use strict dicipline and made excuses for my son's behavior, for too many years.
Some kids are difficult, but I failed to do the right thing for my son, tough love. I made excuses instead. I honestly did believe he wasn't a problem child, it was just his age. Most kids don't need this, but my son did and I failed him.
Again, my 'inaction' is why my son is so problematic today. It is not fair to my daughter how strict I am on her, but not her brother. It isn't fair to her to be ignored because her brother just caused another big problem I had to solve. I honestly didn't know and did the best I could for my kids. I now understand the mistakes I have made.
Since my husband couldn't care less, I should have taken the responsibility to do the right thing, pay up for the divorce and make it more clear to my kids what the reality is. I failed my own loved kids by 'inaction'. I failed myself also.
Wouldn't just spending the cash and get the divorce been worth it? It's a little late for this problem to solve any family problem. I should have acted on this years ago, but didn't want to spend money I needed to support myself and the kids.
I feel the responsibility for this. I did what I thought was right, but was wrong. My husband will not settle for the law of equal asset split. He just makes a simple concept so expensive.
MrsS, I know what I did wrong and have for a long time. I failed to act and didn't realize it would give me a disaster of problems later.
I am not ashamed to admit that I am far less than flawless. I do know my mistakes, but had no idea when I made them. I didn't do anything out of selfish gain, but did it out of ignorance and am paying a high price for my stupidity.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wildflower63, 09-02-06 06:22 PM
12-07-06, 08:09 PM twinkiebear8
quote: Originally posted by Wildflower63: MrsS, did you ever have the need to lie about a past addiction problem to your doctor that does not reflect on your health care at all, yet denied needed pain killers or other drugs you may temporarily need, for reasonable medical care? Are you a former addict?
Other than being honest with your doctor about a past addiction problem, you better be honest or may end up dead. Lying about a past addiction gets you humane treatment. Docs think if you had a past drinking problem, you will abuse pain meds after surgery and you get to suffer. That's not right, but the way it is!
I don't lie to my lawyer either!!
Doctors don't hand out painkillers because they know that there is a chance that a person with a history of drug/alcohol abuse will most-likely go back to old habits under the circumstances.... alcoholism and narcotic addictions do not go away with time... whether you have been sober for 2 months or 10 years.... I have never been addicted to drugs so I don't know everything... however... my mom has been in AA and NA for as long as I have existed and I have gone to meetings with her regularly and built a very large extended family through the two programs... I think if you were serious about your sobriety you would not be throwing such a fit over painkillers
12-08-06, 12:03 PM DvdGStwrt Wild Flower:
As a recovering alcoholic/addict I want for you to know that nearly 12 years clean and sober I am still dealing with stuff that should have been dealt with 10, 20, 30 years ago. Plus stuff from this past year.....
That is part and parcel of Recovery - its called "recovery" because we are always in the process of recovering - it's only called "recovered" when, laying in your casket somebody notes that you have fully recovered from addiction/alcoholism and are now no longer able to relapse.
- - -
Recently I had more surgery (still have the stitches 13 of them schedualed fror removal on Dec 13 - at 1:00 pm (13:00 hours) Eek Razz ) Doctor gave me 50 darvacet, 100 Vicodine and wished me a speedy recovery (from the operation) He is fully aware of my past drug dependencies and alcoholism - I spoke to him in great length prior to the operation about my program of recovery which I consider to be a past condition that is as important as allergies to mediation, past surgeries, blah.
Although I filled the script and although I have those bottles of pills sitting next to the coffee (coffee being the most important meal of the day) it is up to me to decide if I want to be a user (loser Frown ) or if I'm going to be clean and sober (winner Cool ).
- - -
In case you are wondering where I have been this past year: to add to my issues with my unresolved past (lots of trash there as you may know) I have been diagnosed and have been under treatment for leukemia - this past year has been far from a happy one for me - I no longer have a spleen, have been on chemo and have pretty much been ran through the ringer. As one of the highlights of my life I consider this past year to be an experience not worth repeating - I would rather swim in a pool full of double sided razor blades - less painful I'm certain)
Due to being sick more often than well I haven't been able to bring in an income - money is always a problem now it is a huge problem that isn't going to go away in the near future. This year for Christmas we can not even afford a tree - yeah its that bad here. We won't talk about the newly discovered limits of my medical insurance and the wonderful debt that that brings to me (you dislike debt, I loath it).
I confess that I have desired (greatly) to return to drugs and drink on more than one occasion this past year.
But I haven't - I resolved to stay clean and sober even if it kills me.
So A week after surgery I still have 48 darvacet and 92 vicodine. Taking less than prescribed - the pain reminds me that I am alive and tells me that life is worth living clean and sober - even the not so nice parts of life like this.
Those pill bottles do not sit by my coffee to tease and torment me - instead they sit there to remind me that I am stronger than the addiction and that I have overcome their power over me.
It is our outlook on life that will determine our success or failure at recovery.
I fear my dear you dwell on things. I have followed you around on this site and the other pool - and I see that you wallow in your grief and life situations. You don't deal with it and move on, instead you hang these things up and look at them and say "oh pity me, life's sooooo hard".
Your outlook is way down and I fear for your sobriety.
I'm too tired to reach out and give you a strong shaking, but I'm not too tired to ask you to please sit down and write up a list of the good things in your life, post those positive things where you can read them an see them each day and try to focus on them - please for your very life do that.
PS. I haven't said anything about my health because I didn't want everybody to get all weepy and telling me they are sorry - please, please don't do it now.
12-14-06, 08:19 PM Wildflower63 Drug addiction is something that no informed American would ever do. The fact is we don't know the reality of addiction at all. We are told, "Drugs are bad!", but they don't feel all that bad at all. Actually, drugs make you feel super-human.
That's how it starts out, but not what it ends up. Americans are told so many lies about drug use, to the point we believe nothing. "This is your brain on drugs." I see nothing in that to tell us reality of drug use.
Our kids are passed out DARE tee-shirts. They are told "Drugs are bad!" None of us are ever told what is so bad about smoking weed. Americans do not take this seriously, until too late and addicted.
The fact is weed isn't addictive, but people like it. Weed is going to take you down with COPD and unknown brain dead mentality, which cannot be scientifically explained.
Some addictions are far worse than others. I would prefer to be a drunken addict. The withdrawal isn't even close to what pain killer addicts face, which includes everything from Vicodin, coke, to heroin. Benzo addiction is maybe days less of detox, but worse with detox symptoms.
I don't believe our current detox availability is realistic to get any person off of a drug. I would prefer to be an addict than deal with the reality of detox. It really is that bad. Even if you choose to go to detox, it's expensive and addicts can't pay.
All drug addicts would get off of this drug cycle if they had an alternative. Lying in a bed in a detox wishing you were dead, knowing you have at least a week in front of you. Ten minutes of this suffering is too long.
The option of today's detox is not going to get the majority of people off of any drug. It is too cruel and hard. Something has to change, but it will not because Americans think addicts deserve the withdrawl they get.
I don't think our medical system is kind to addicts, financially or medically speaking. Why get off of an addictive drug when you can't pay a hospital detox that is known to be an experience wose than death?
There really is the option of selective coma, so do it. Many people would want to get off of drugs if they felt there was a reasonable alternative, but America thinks addicts should be punished.
Be humane! There is a medically safe and better way.
12-14-06, 11:06 PM Wildflower63 David, I am a nurse and see it all the time. You have a nice doc the is willing to help you. Most addicts don't.
If you feel too tempted by pain killers, get rid of them. If you need something for pain, take it. I would like to know why you look at needed drugs as something you shouldn't. It is intended to make you comfortable, not take four pills and get blasted.
Being a sober person does not include pain control when you need it. Know the difference between drug use and drug abuse. I'm sure you can figure that out.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,
Posts: 2235 | Location: Western United States | Registered: 06-03-02
