My son is having his first school band experience and was so excited and insistent about wanting to join and play trombone. It's different than he expected, of course and we always have resistance when trying to get him to get in his practice time. I could use some suggestions on how to motivate him. He was real excited the other day when they all played a scale together. It really turned him on! But on his own . . . practice is drudgery.

Have you tried getting him to play along with music? Maybe he prefers playing when others are going with him. So just play some trombone sounds and tell him to try to play along with those sounds.

I think this is common. Kids are used to getting the hang of things quickly, so they always underestimate the difficulty (time and practice) it takes to learn a musical instrument. I was 9 years old when I started the saxophone, and I remember many early fits of frustration and begging to quit. Thanks to my parents I stuck with it, and it ended up as a source of joy (both personal and social) through school and all my adult life.

As you said, practice is drudgery, and it's hard to sell a young kid on the concept of delayed gratification (work now, fun later). His excitement at playing a scale with the other students is a definite sign of hope. Can you "bribe" him to practice by linking it to some other privilege, such as tv or video games, etc.? Maybe his band director has some suggestions. Good luck!

Thanks to you both. I guess this is all very normal. I hope he sticks with it. The band teacher has us sign to verify he practices at least 50 minutes a week and this represents 25% of the grade, so he always wants good grades. I guess my expectations must be off a little to think he's going to just want to do it! Instead, it's more work for me. Oh Well! It's worth it!

"Oh Well! It's worth it!"
It is worth it not only for the enjoyment that music can bring into one's life and the self-discipline that one learns, but also can be worth it in other ways. My son is in his senior year at a private college. His music scholarship pays for most of his tuition. (He also plays trombone.)

"...according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, people with a bachelor's degree earn over 62 percent more on average than those with only a high school diploma? Over a lifetime, the gap in earning potential between a high school diploma and a B.A. (or higher) is more than $1,000,000. What this boils down to is that whatever sacrifices you make for a college education in the short term are more than repaid in the long term." - CollegeBoard.com

It won't be fun always but your role here is to tell him honestly and without hostility that you expect him to practice because he will get better, the thing cost a lot and because it's something he wanted to do and if he wants to do things in the future that cost you money then he will have to follow through. This always worked for me and it was repeated very often. You should also stress that while solo practice might not be fun that he enjoys the group practices, and he won't enjoy those practices if kids start to pass him up because he hasn't been practicing at home.

Set a time before dinner for him to practice 20 minutes a night and wait for him to do it. Encourage him and help him find music that he enjoys practicing with, tell him when you hear improvement, laugh with him when things aren't going so well and take him to listen to some live music with trombones. Try to avoid having anyone in the family make fun of him for sour notes (the trombone is really bad in the hands of a beginner... the guys in our school band that played trombone hit sour notes more often than the clarinets)

It might not work but sometimes it does and it sounds like he enjoys it enough to stick it out with a little careful pressure. Playing an instrument is an excellent gift for himself later in life.

Sounds familiar. I was 11 and going into junior high.
I knew there was band class available apart from playing recorder as I had done in previous grades. There were several of us crowded around the drums and other percussion instruments before the teacher arrived. He quickly assigned instruments to nearly all of us,a quick lip/mouth check and "you're perfect for trombone)", etc. with the clarinet and so on. I have had a life long love of music and was glad to be a part of it. Practicing was never my thing, especially on trombone which was not the drums I wanted to be playing. Fortunately I had an exceptional band teacher who motivated and encouraged getting better. I went as far as I could: I read a bit, even stood up and took solos, praise was my biggest motivator. At around the same time I picked up guitar and eventually bass guitar and from playing with othe people became advanced on those instruments as I was really enthusisatic about playing in rock groups. I did pursue that as a career for several years and also taught. I found out that trombone was not an instrument I could stick with and I don't remember the theory anymore. I was very motivated by playing in bands and almost dropped trombone by the end of high school. I was enthused my the glory, (in those days) of playing a more rock-orientated instrument with other guys. In my case trombone wasn't my "real" instrument but I did find the real one(s) and was never discouraged to do so. Sorry to ramble for so long but I am passionate to this day about my music!

Just a little encouragement...

I went through the same thing at that age, with my piano.

And, my daughter goes through boughts of that with her violin lessons as well. At first she was very motivated but as time went by, she didn't want to be bothered. That was very frustrating for us, because her lessons are VERY expensive. My mom is paying for the instrument itself, so occasionally we have to remind her, that IF she wants to do it, she needs to practice. If not, she needs to stop, because its costing lots of money. We don't mind paying it, and are glad to, as long as she keeps working at it.

One of the biggest motivators is that she sees me still playing piano. She knows that the love of music and being able to create lasts longer than just childhood.

Also, her teacher has recitals where the younger kids play with her more mature students. That is a huge boost to the self esteem.

Are there any district bands in the area, where your child could perform with older, more experienced kids?