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Diamond Enthusiast

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Exactly MrsS!
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Diamond Enthusiast

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True love is not that person you are completely infatuated with when you are young. It is not the person you think about day and night, or the one who you cannot imagine being without.
As you become older and wiser, you will realize that true love is what you have experienced together. It is the shared pain and the shared joy of a lifetime you are building together. It is all of the hard spots and how you managed to come through them together. It is my great aunt, sitting with her bedridden husband 24/7 for six years, feeding him, reading to him, bathing him, and cleaning him when he soiled himself.
If your girlfriend were paralyzed in a car wreck this afternoon would you, forsaking all others for the rest of your life, devote yourself to her as my great aunt did my great uncle, without complaint?
"First true love" implies there will be a second true love. I don't see the devotion in your writings.
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| Posts: 8087 | Location: in the backwoods of North Carolina | Registered: 06-07-02 |    |
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Diamond Enthusiast


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Rarely is the first person you believe to be your “first true love” actually so, and even rarer is the emotion you feel for that person actually love at all. Usually it is lust or passion, want or need, but rarely love. As you gain in years and maturity you will discover that your adolescent “loves” were not that at all and that your angst-full heartbreaks were actually quite trivial. Perhaps no one has given you a flat yes or no because it is actually a difficult question. People may have “done it” (and by that I assume you mean “had sexual intercourse”) with someone who they thought, at the time, was their first love, but later came to realize that what they shared was not love. Sometimes the first person you have sex with is not someone you love at all (not that this is appropriate or commendable). Sometimes you find your first true love a ways down the road. It is only by looking back over our experiences from a later vantage point that we can determine who our first true love was. A person who has only been in one relationship and believes that to be their first true love may be correct, but they have nothing to compare it to. After living more and experiencing more you can look back and say, “yes, that person was my first love” or “wow, I was really deluding myself on that whole thing.”
Love is not a pre-requisite for sex, but it ought to be a consideration. And sex does not automatically follow love. Sometimes, a person loves his or her partner so much that he or she will accept not having sex, because the partner is not ready. That is maturity and understanding. Assuming sex is an automatic part of any relationship, even one assumed to be a “first true love,” is irresponsible and uncaring.
Coldfuse has an interesting point. “First true love” does imply that there will be a second. But shouldn’t your true love be your only love? There are different sorts of relationships and different levels of love, but shouldn’t the person you characterize as your “true love” be the one and only, the romantic “great love of your life”? If it is your first, how do you know it’s your true love? If it is your true love, should it be classified as a first? Love (and “love”) is indeed a curious thing.
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| Posts: 4611 | Location: Rochester, NY, USA | Registered: 06-03-02 |    |
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