What is a reasonable time frame to expect to be introduced to family and friends of a boyfriend/girlfriend in a serious committed relationship?

What reasons would occur to you if the time frame that you'd expect was exceeded by more than 50%? (given that no reasonable excuse has been offered and that the topic had been discussed.)

Would you be insulted, hurt and/or embarrassed by this situation?

Just my .02, but I would have expected the meeting would have taken place before it was a serious committed relationship. When I was dating I inevitably met folks and friends early on. If there is reluctance, I'd inquire into the reasons why.

P.S. If no reasonable excuse is offered I'd say that, for whatever reason, the other person did not want a meeting to take place.

I have to agree with JR on this. There has to be a reason why. Could be the parents are reluctant to meet another person, knowing there is no permanence. Have any more details? I would wonder if there was a husband or wife that has not been mentioned. They just had this subject covered in Annie's Mailbox.

Just a follow-up for clarification: do the friends and family live nearby, or are we talking a major trip to see them?

I think 6 months is a reasonable time frame to meet friends and family. Starting the 2nd year he/she should be bringing the other person to holidays. I knew a woman who was dating this man and she never met his family, his friends or his son. It was later found out that he was seeing other people. I think if a man isn't introducing his woman to his friends and family that there is only a few reasons. He is either seeing someone else, is ashamed of her or really isn't that serious. I suggest you have your friend get the book, He's just not that into you

If it were me, I'd take the hint and get a clue. I wouldn't keep chasing rejection.

If no "reasonable excuse" has been offered, I have to ask if ANY excuse has been offered at all?
That said, there are both acceptable and unacceptable reasons for delaying the "Meet the Family" routine...Acceptable, in my book, might be that Mom is a pushy thing who will start planning a wedding the moment a prospect is in sight (or she's still holding out for the high school sweetheart and will be a royal $^&#@^& to any other person brought home), or dad is a horrendous bigot or something and your partner is embarrassed to have you meet...
And distance, both emotional and geographic, is a factor... is he close to his family or does he consider contact with them a chore to be endured? Does he see them twice a week? Twice a month? Twice a year? Only for graduations, weddings and funerals? Are they across town or three states over?

Unacceptable reasons (based on my own experiences) include: an undisclosed marriage or past marriage that he's trying to keep buried, likewise, the existance of children of whom you have no knowlege, serious "misinformation" about background,education, accomplishments, etc that would be exposed if you meet the family and, last but not least, he's not as serious as he's led you to believe but unwilling, for whatever reasons, to come clean about his intentions or lack thereof.

Whatever the reasons, stringing a person along and making no effort to either explain or make the introduction is not a good sign, I'm afraid.
So much for family.

As for friends, there is no acceptable excuse for not introducing ones partner to ones circle of friends.

Personally I would not be insulted nor embarrassed but I would be a little hurt. I think a lot depends on how the other interacts with his/her family and friends. Some people simply are not close to family members so it might mean nothing for them not to make introductions. Likewise some people don't have a lot of friends that they see often. And MrsS brought up a good point in regards to how often a partner visits his/her family and if they live close by.

The thing to keep in mind is (for me) it's not all that important to physically meet others. But the important thing is whether family and friends know about you. If a partner is hesitant to even mention you to family and friends then warning bells go off. For me that has always meant that there was another woman in the background that his family and friends already knew about...and yes this was during committed relationships (2 of them) and we were engaged. Live and learn.

I've been in a relationship around 10 years. My partner has not been introduced to my parents and I didn't offer any reasons why even when put to the question because I had some serious issues with "sharing" my past experiences with my parents with anyone, even my partner. My partner now knows why, but that took a few years of therapy for me to reach the point were I could talk about the reason.

My reason: The amount of abuse visited upon me by my parents.

If abuse is there s/he might actually lie about his/her past, and the kind of family s/he had. I did it for years and years, I came up with a nice story which did not include the true horrors I endured. I didn't necessarily lie because I was embarrassed, I lied because I was protecting others from "stuff". I told bigger better lies and painted a prettier picture for those I cared for more because I didn't want them to hurt. Being pressed to meet my parents after lying about them... well you can see that problem.

Other contradictory stuff will take place too, such as I called my mother every single week thinking it was my "duty" as a son. I attempted way too hard to make a relationship with both my father and mother. To an outsider it may have appeared we had a "close" relationship, but the reality was far from that.

I'm not saying that s/he was abused, I'm only pointing out that there may be a very good reason to not introduce a lover to his/her parents, further s/he may be pretty messed up over concepts of duty and love or have other hang-ups, s/he might have painted him/herself into a corner with lie upon lie about his/her parents and now has no way out.

It is possible that there are other reasons which are similarly "dark" that compel people to push away from the idea of introducing somebody they love to their parents. For the GLBT community a lot of times its just because we are who we are that prevents meeting the parents of our love. I don't think we actually push the point when it comes to meeting parents because most of are a very aware that acceptance and family are not always the same thing.

Friends and family live near-by.

Excuse offered is that they are just not that social, not sure what their schedule is, couldn't get ahold of them - both excuses apply to both family and friends. I think these can be classified as unreasonable excuses after quite a period of time has elapsed... i.e. within weeks of thinking it appropriate these excuses might apply but after months a further explanation must come.

(by the way, it took ending the relationship to get the real explanation so that's too bad. And life moves on

So what was the real explanation? Enquiring minds need to know....

IMHO he is hiding some secret from you i.e. he's been previously married and he's told you otherwise. Introducing you to family might let the proverbial "cat out of the bag".

Sorry, Georgia but I'll keep that one to myself.

There is no big story or big issue though, so no need to feel you missed out.

Thanks all.

For the enquiring minds, turns out it was all due to a big heap of lies regarding his past - marriages, achievements, relationships, friends, everything you can think of.

House of cards that fell apart all in one big pathetic heap.

Just thought I'd follow up since you all took the time to give much appreciated advice.

Been there, done that. Sorry to hear Ami my friend. When something similar happened to me, it made me realize my "intuition" wasn't something to ignore.