The Situation: A 16-year-old and a 20-year-old are involved in a relationship. They both consent to the relationship. It is not illegal for them to have a relationship.
The problem: At least one side of the family see it as morally wrong and the age difference is too great, but the two don't see anything wrong with it (well, of course). They are not planning on having children and in the future will be taking measures to prevent it. Which is the bigger issue (if there is an issue).
If there are any questions to further explain the situation, please e-mail me at *****. Please do not post email addresses in open forums. Registered members can view your email address in your profile, if you wish to provide it.
[This message was edited by Karrow on 08-30-03 at 10:39 PM.] ******************************************************** 08-28-03, 07:24 AM Sherasi That is not an illegal relationship. The only "cousin" level frowned upon is First Cousins. The age is the issue, she is a minor he and an adult. THAT could get them (read HIM) into trouble.. and if the family is against it, they could use that as the reason to take action.
Secondly, posting your email contravenes site rules.. (it is to protect you). You can put it into your profile and just tell them to look there if they want to contact you. Smile
08-28-03, 05:33 PM honilov Well, I needed to vote twice since two choices apply. Smile
First, incest is wrong. There are too many people in the world to choose from, than to have to stoop to family.
Second, the age difference is another problem. A 20 year old adult shouldn't have to stoop to a kid for a relationship.
Something is not clicking somewhere.
08-28-03, 06:42 PM frankvan honilov, what do you mean "stoop"? I was a 21 year old "adult" and my wife was a 17 year old "minor". We have been married for 60 blissful years. Of course, we weren't cousins - but if we trace our lineage back far enough, we're all family. And our kids were both "normal" whatever that means. Smile
08-28-03, 07:42 PM honilov Frankvan, instead of stoop, maybe I should say it's illegal, As you know, an adult can be jailed for having a relationship with a minor. It doesn't matter if they are in love.
Just ask R. Kelly. I guess you and many others are lucky. Some win and some lose. Those are the breaks...it's not what you do, but who you are.
And of course, if you are not familiar with R. Kelly, he's the famous singer that I got my username from one of his songs...Honey Love
08-29-03, 12:17 AM SeattleRon Incest is the issue. the diffrence in age is only 4 years. People gotta get over the fact that after a certain point, age is nothing but a number. I'm sure some of you are either dating or married to someone more than 4 years older than you. When I was 18 I was going out with a 29 year old. Age ain't nothin but a number. It's the incest thing thats wrong about it all.
08-29-03, 02:12 AM Yelena
quote:Originally posted by honilov:
First, incest is wrong. There are too many people in the world to choose from, than to have to stoop to family.
If the only reason you have to suport that belief is that there are enough people in the world, then I seriously think you should reconsider that statement.
What idiot came up with the law that cousins can't marry in the first place??
I would have to vote twice too, the last two that is, because I see nothing wrong with this relashonship. I don't think it would be good for everyone involved if they had kids though.
08-29-03, 03:36 AM SeattleRon marrying your cousin is stinkin gross. my god yelena you can't really approve of this. marrying a cousin is marrying one of your parents brother or sisters kid. That kinda thing is disgusting. I'd rather be gay before I'd advance on a family memeber. My goodness. Why don't we all just start having intercourse within our own families then. I'm sorry if I'm vulgar with this, but this sickens me. It's wrong to have sexual intercourse with family members. So you're telling me Yelena that if your brother or sister advanced on you, you wouldn't mind? My goodness, incest is wrong, it's wrong. It's as wrong as you can get. People that sleep with family disgusts me. I don't care if I get suspended for saying this. I'm not using profanity or nothing. Incest is wrong. It's wrong!!!
08-29-03, 10:49 AM Georgia85 Marriage between first cousins is wrong Ron...but anything past that is not considered incest and is acceptable.
If the above two are first cousins than I would be against it due to that fact. But if they are 2nd or 3rd than I say if they were lucky enough to find true love in each other then by all means go for it.
It's not always black and white with cousins. And there is not always a direct family bloodline between cousins. One of my good friends in college met a wonderful man and fell in love with him. It was only while they were dating that she discovered he once lived in the same house as her grandmother...this was revealed while they were out for a drive and she pointed out the house. As it turned out he was indeed a cousin of her's that she had never met. They soon married and have 3 beautiful (and healthy) grown daughters. They are as much in love today as they were 22 years ago.
08-29-03, 12:03 PM Yelena No I would never marry my cousin. That IS gross, at least for me.
Ron man, if you actually gave me a good reason as to why having relashions with a member of your family is wrong other than that it is gross(which I agree with), I'd consider what you have to say. But the mere fact that something is considered disgusting and morally wrong and objective by today's standards isn't going to make me belive that it is wrong. I'm not going to support an idea just because everyone does.
If you or anyone can give me an honest to God reason why incesnt is so wrong, and this reason isn't "just because" or because you've been brought up to thinks its bad, then I'll change my mind. Until then, to each his own.
P.S. same goes with homosexuality, which I assumed you also dissaprove of since ou put being gay just above incest.
08-29-03, 12:26 PM Georgia85 Yelena, on a biological side incest is wrong because reproduction between to family members close in the blood line (that means brother/sister..brother/mother...on up to FIRST cousins) is detrimental to the production of a viable embryo. It is very rare that a normal and healthy baby would ever be born. Often times there are physically developed montrosities of human nature produced. If a child is born physically normal, then there is mental retardation to deal with. But more than likely a fetus will merely be aborted via a miscarriage. If this continues the mother's health can be in jeopardy.
So this is basically why incest is wrong...from a scientific viewpoint.
08-29-03, 03:57 PM Yelena Well jeez Georgie, at least THAT makes sense.Razz So it's unhealthy for the people involved and for the baby. But I already said that it would be in the best interest of everyone that is they didn't have kids.
So it is wrong from a biological standpoint, you convinced me. I still don't see the moral aspect though.
08-29-03, 04:03 PM Georgia85 Thank you Yelena. I like to deal with facts myself so figured I'd share what I knew with you.
Ok folks...one down...one to go...someone else want to tackle Yelena's question from a Moral standpoint?
08-29-03, 08:09 PM honilov Yelena, there are plenty more people like you that think incest is right. Some people have romantic relationships with their mother, father, and siblings, but to me it's wrong. I understand that the world is made up of all kinds, so just think of my post as refering only to me, and not you. Smile
Ron, it's funny how the age difference is so fine now. It just support my reply to Frankvan, that it's 'who' you are. Not so long ago, you thought it was ridiculous. But, at least your head is straight about the incest. Smile
09-22-03, 03:33 AM grumpybear Incest is wrong!!! Yelena, please see my post in this board....Other than that, I wouldn't see a problem with it. Granted ,my answer is probably a biased answer when it comes to how old is old, or how young is young...Me and my husband have 13 years between us.
09-22-03, 10:26 PM Yelena Honilov, you have failed to give me any moral reason as to why incest is wrong, yet I am the one with my head on the wrong way. What gives?? Confused
Personally, I dont really care. I dont think its right, I dont think it's wrong. But if you're going to say something is wrong and judge the people that are involved in it, at least be able to back up your opinions.
09-23-03, 09:25 PM honilov Yelena, first, I never said that your head was on wrong. I simply told Ron that his head was straight about incest. If it's embedded in your mind that incest is right, then there is no morally way to make you understand.
Morally to me, is commonsense, and please don't put any more words in my mouth. Wink
I would have no desire to...well..er..to do certain things that's morally wrong with my Dad, brother, or cousin. Wink
09-25-03, 07:32 AM clarebear From a personal moral standpoint I feel that having a relationship with my cousin is wrong. I just feel that it is too close to home. I was raised with a set of beliefs and those are the ones I live by. My cousin is family and you (meaning me) don't date your cousin. My cousin is someone I was raised with. My cousin is someone I played with when I was little. We had birthday parties together. We all went to Grandpa's funeral together. My reason is simply that. He is my family.
If cousins choose to have a relationship then they need to know the cost of that relationship. The emotional strain on the family and the dangers of reproducing. There are possible genetic disorders associated with producing children with a relative. That is a risk involved.
From a moral standpoint, it is an individual decision. Afterall, Albert Einstein married his first cousin and so did Charles Darwin. Their children turned out fine. Many people believe premarital sex is wrong. Like I said, it is a personal decision. It isn't against the law everywhere.
