This is to the point of "I can't take anymore of her!" type thing. What I thought was a friend, wasn't. After years, I finally figured it out. The signs were already there that she wasn't the best person in the world, but I didn't want to see it. She had good, kind qualities I liked. I overlooked things she did to others.
When she pulled a big one on me, I couldn't overlook or make excuses anymore. I was sold out cheap to a man I broke up with. This is before I moved back in with my husband. This man has psychological problems. He had stolen my kids keys to my apartment. I walked in on him two separate times after having my locks changed. This was no accident. He threw food on all cars in my parking lot so the kids would get blame for it because I refused to let him come over one evening. He wouldn't ever stop watching my parking lot.
That isn't even half of it. He was always pulling some mean/cruel stunt for things I wasn't ready for, like an exclusive relationship and marriage. Sorry big guy, but I do have that choice. I thought slavery was abolished. He was trying to buy a woman. Whatever! So, he didn't get his way. That is what I did so horrible to him. I said no.
I had told my friend of all these things and why I didn't want to see him anymore. Well, he has enough money to be impressive. Behind my back for four months I was living in fear over his phone calls telling me small, but true information there is no way he should have known. I was horrified for four months over this thinking my apartment was bugged or something was going on, but had no idea how he was getting this information and scaring me with it.
I talked with this man one evening without anger. I told him exactly why I was not comfortable having a relationship with him. He promised to get help for his problems. He decided then to come clean where he got information about me, my dear friend.
You talk about shock! I asked him to leave immediately. I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone kicked me in the gut so hard that it squashed my heart and it was ready to explode. That was betrayal at it's finest hour.
I understand how she was manipulated by him. We had talked about our friends. He had knowledge about her. He told twisted versions of what I said, half truths, and flat out lies to anger her and get her to spill the beans about me. Of course she was furious with me. This guy is a slick talker. But, there were no beans to spill. I was honest with him.
I tried very hard, wrote her a letter, called, everything I could think of to straighten this out and tell her the truth. I said nothing further than conversational. I had no ill words at all. He fooled me too. Once I found out what he was, I stopped seeing him.
She feels she did nothing wrong. She told me to stop choosing her friends. Ummm, her friend? She said that we hadn't been friends in a few years. She had done nothing to betray me. Nothing? If we weren't friends for the last several years, why did she get together with me to see the fireworks (where she met the man I was dating months before)? Why did she still take calls from me? Why did she talk to me almost every morning of the world on IM after our kids left for school? Why didn't she tell me she had a problem with our friendship sooner?
In truth, there was no problem with our friendship until the third party busted it up. Jealous people can be the most hatful you ever see. I always knew she was a very jealous person. I thought that was just in the area of men. Apparently not. I have only petty reasons why, but she has to be jealous of me for some reason. That is the only thing I can account for this sort of hatred.
When I thought we were friends, I invited her to an internet site I liked. Now she is putting up some not so innocent things about my personal life. She will not leave me alone. I do believe this is encouraged by my ex-boyfriend. I have reported her several times and explained personal circumstances.
She just isn't done with me. I have a clue why. I make great conversation of mutual hate that is encouraging her and giving her ideas. I am quite sure her and my ex-boyfriend are having quite a lot of fun with me. I don't undestand the jealousy mentality. They do all too well. I have a lawsuit still pending against him. He is nice to me only because he feels he has to be. Either that, or I get the nasty treatment intended to intimidate.
I have tried to get a restraining order against him and can't. You have to be physically threatened. He isn't that stupid, but takes full advantage of legalities and loop holes to stalk in some way that isn't so obvious, through her and going for walk, that type of thing. I do not need a restraining order against her. I asked if she wanted to talk this out in person and she freaked. I'm not looking for a hillbilly fight. That is her mentality, not mine. I want to look her in the eye with what she will only type. I want to know why she could ever think of betraying me like this. I'm hurting bad.
They are like two vicious predators on my back that never stop. I would have to move away and change my name, this has been going on so long. This isn't the first time he has used a woman to deal with the horrible way I treat him. But, I didn't know her. It was his friend. This time he used mine and she continues to let herself be used.
If she would stop this as I have asked and sincerely apologized to me, I would forgive her and drop it. I get just the opposite. Now she is getting his strange ideas of what I did to wrong her through a mentally ill ex-boyfriend. She will not explain to me what I have done to wrong her. In truth, I have done nothing or I wouldn't feel the hurt and shock that I do. I can explain pages of what she has done to wrong me.
Obviously, this isn't friendship material. That doesn't make it hurt any less to be sold out for some free dinners and used furniture he gives her. She has big money difficulties, which is why she is so impressed with his cash. Hurt and betrayal are the first emotion, fury comes next.
Obviously using the same internet site is not a good idea anymore. She can have it, as if she hasn't taken enough already from me. I do bite into the bait. Both know how hard this last one hit me and I tend to get a little too emotional not to knee jerk say something back. I'm cold to her, but truthful. This has to stop for my own sanity. I know, get control of your own emotions. I'm not doing well on this one. What they did to me was unforgivable and evil. She used to major flirt with my husband too right in front of me. I ignored it because I stupidly trusted him too.
How do you get rid of an enemy that just wont stop?
The question you asked "how to get rid of an enemy" is in my opinion the wrong question for you to be asking. I think that the question you should be asking is "who is the enemy". It seems that your friend (who you implied was the nemy) has been "won over" by your true enemy (the slick talker). I think your friend/enemy isn't to blame here, i mean it's the slick talker's words against yours, and well hes the slick talker so you can see how that works. As for what you can do about this other than what you have tried (talking to them, restraing orders ect...) is ignore them. I dont mean just for a week, month, or year. I mean for good. Block there calls, ignore there little pranks, find different internet sites really anything you can think of just to cut contact off between them. I hope that this has helped you in some way, because by me writing this it has helped me finalize my thoughts on a similar situation.
I was in a similar situation. Every time I tried to go to sleep, my neighbors started up with sexual harassment and noise. Together with the lack of sleep, all these things resulted in my having such bad judgment that the only thing which I resolved to do was to stubbornly suffer the scoundrels, refusing to move. Police never responded, claiming that my need for an improved quality of life was a low priority. Yes, I spent much money suing them and their landlord and lost. Finally, my lawyer impressed their landlord's lawyer to impress their landlord to evict them, which he did. The victory was minor, costly, and hollow. When you tangle with trash, you are reduced to their level. Have nothing to do with them. Realize that they will then have to do to each other what they started out doing to you. My neighbors, a man and a woman, broke up, after making a baby, and the woman's husband returned to her. The last time that I saw the woman on a bus with her husband, she looked remorseful, although she had once treatened to kill me, while her kids stalked me. All I can say is that I can take most anything after one year of continual torture, torment, threats, and terror. Are you also stubborn, determined to win? What is the win? Some shallow victory! Save your strength, wits, dignity, etc. for the next set of dogs out to destroy you. They will definitely show up sooner or later, and you will wait, hissing, "Here kitty, kitty!" In my case, all S.O.B.'s are just plain too damn late to destroy me.
