I am a concerned parent about my son's friends, when he leaves out the door, I want to know, who with, is an adult going to be there supervising, and when will I hear from you. The teenagers my son hangs around with are fairly good kids, they haven't gotten into trouble. My question is what are your standards as a parent to allowing who they see. Would you let them hang with kids that do drugs, steal things? Do you believe they should report in?

[This message was edited by soaringhorse on 07-08-03 at 01:54 PM.]
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07-08-03, 02:36 PM
jusork
Well I don't really think it's possible to know if a kid does drugs or steals things sometimes. If my son or daughter meets someone who does something illegal, I wouldn't wish they weren't friends, I'd hope they don't do something in fun where he/she is drawn in because it's fun. I guess I would ask where he's going and to come back at a good time. I'd hope he already knows what can be trouble and to not go into things that are severe and I'd hope he/she knows what AND more importantly why things are wrong. If she doesn't agree with me then he's already going in that direction weather she/he meets kids who do it or not. I don't want to think I know what my kid is thinking though and just say don't do that without knowing his friends. A friend of mine and my brother's went with my brother and some of his friends and stole the speed bumps at school. This was like a fun prank because they don't like having to go over bumps through a parking lot(it usually makes it slower). But I know most of these kids and I really think they know their legal limits and they don't do drugs(infact one of them told me that he thought it was). All and all it's a hard decision to know what to say but I think they should learn the simple small situations on their own.

[This message was edited by jusork on 07-08-03 at 03:05 PM.]

07-08-03, 03:00 PM
puppyblues
You ask: who, what, where, when, what time, who will be there, how old are they, are there going to be adults there and any other question you can think of. Always know where your kids are. You can never ask enough questions, just ask them once...get your answers then leave them alone. Nagging sucks! Big Grin

07-08-03, 08:34 PM
LVLF
I call my sons friends parents to make sure they are going to be home, confirm pick-up times, etc. They need to check in every hour or so, and obey curfew.
There are certain kids I don't want them to hang around with, but there is also no way to enforce my wishes 100%. Parties, school functions and those kind of things. But, both myself and the boys are learning as we go, and so far, they have made more right choices than wrong.

07-09-03, 05:01 AM
Wildflower63
I personally love handing a kid a cell phone. It works great! You know they are alive and well. If they decide not to answer it, take it away from them. They don't like that at all. Works for me!

07-09-03, 07:59 AM
Elexina
You ask who, you ask when, you ask what time. Parents, the anti-drug. Wink
I do not have children, but if I did I would not allow them to hang out with people I knew were breaking the law. Not because it might corrupt my child (I hope that my kid would have better morals than that) but because he would be guilty by association and could end up in serious trouble.
But you can't keep tabs on your kids all the time. They have to have a little freedom to make their own choices. We can't just shelter them their whole childhood or real life is going to be a nasty slap in the face.
As for the cell phone idea, I think it is a fine one. However, in my opinion, it should only be used as an emergency option. I just don't think kids need cell phones for casual use. If they ever need to call parents or have a real emergency, it is good for them to have a cell.

07-12-03, 08:18 AM
clarebear
Get off my partyline! LOL

I have to know too. Smile

look here

07-12-03, 09:08 AM
Wildflower63
I buy prepaid minutes. Kids love the text messaging. They do use it to call friends. They quickly learn to use the time wisely or I wont put any more money on it. Kids love their call phones. There are even games on them. That's the whole beauty of it. It works fantastic to track down kids. They better answer my calls though or I will snatch it. They hate that.

07-24-03, 08:48 AM
Stardust
I don't mean any disrespect here, but how do you not allow an older child to not be friends with who they choose? You can't follow them at school all day. I think you can only put a stop to small children by picking their friends. It doesn't work at all with older ones.

Friendships are built gradually. I cannot imagine an older child or teen abruptly ending a friendship because mommy said so. Wouldn't that be wronging the friend they have by dumping them like that? I think you can state disapproval and that is about as far as it goes. They have to decide who to be friends with, not mommy.

07-24-03, 05:02 PM
puppyblues
Stardust, you sound very familiar, do we know you?

07-25-03, 04:04 AM
hassia
Stardust,
the way to handle that situation is to bring your kids up right with the kind of morals that would tell them not to get involved with such kids. of course, many still do, but if they were brought up properly, they know they ought not be involved and often will end the relationship when they have decided that the other kid(s) are getting to be too much.

07-26-03, 11:29 AM
Wildflower63
I tend to let the kids hang out at my house. It's noisy, but I know who is here and supervise them myself. It works and keeps them out of trouble.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,