The group calling itself the Asexual Visibility and Education Network is composed of people who claim they don't want sex at all, never did, probably never will.

They claim they are not afflicted in any way. They say they feel fine about who they are. But sometimes others don't treat them well.

Their families keep asking, "When are you going to get married?'

The opposite sex asks, "Are you gay?"

If someone makes a move on them and they of course refuse, being without desire for the person, they may have to deal with the fury and contempt the refusal causes.

On the other hand, they don't always keep glancing into mirrors to find out if they look 'hot'.

They don't spend a fortune on sexy clothes and then wonder if it makes their butt look big.

Psychologists want to view them as 'sick', so they get a new class of patients to be mined for cash.

But they don't think they're sick, because if you're sick you want to get better, and they don't care, they ask "better what?" They think they're just at one end of a spectrum, and at the other end there are satyrs and nymphs. Satyrs and nymphs have problems because of their sexual aggressiveness. But AVENs don't cause problems.

They don't stay up all night obsessing about someone who dumped them, or spend way too much money trying to impress someone enough to get sexual favors in return.

Frankly there's a lot to envy there, in some ways.

On the other hannd, they don't have kids of their own, though they can adopt.

Well, what is it? A disease? Within a natural range? Is it their duty to try to be 'cured'?

Would you like to be one?

Inquiring minds want to know.
HERE'S A GOOD ARTICLE.

I see no reason to think it's any less credible than any other sexual orientation. And I see no reason not to think it's a reasonable orientation to have either. What could be wrong with it? Wouldn't like to be one though, but perhaps that's because I'm already used to the way I am.

quote:

Originally posted by faber:
But they don't think they're sick, because if you're sick you want to get better, and they don't care, they ask "better what?"

I wouldn't say this is true though. Assuming you're not just talking about sick in the physical sense since we're talking about orientation, you could be mentally sick and believe that you're not sick.

Yabbut, isn't it true that for certain illnesses, couldn't you be physically sick and believe that you're not sick?

Anyway, I'm remembering the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

As much as I am in favour of everybody getting to live honest lives without discrimination or ridicule, I am mighty tired of everybody's assumption that their specific sexual proclivities, or now absence of such proclivities, should be publicly acknowleged....As far as I'm concerned, the correct answer to "When are you getting married" is a coy "I have no idea, but you'll know soon after I do" or a more blunt "Why are we talking about my private life?"
The reply to "Are you gay?" is "Yes", "No", "I have no idea" or "That's a terribly personal question, isn't it?"

Everyone who is not settled into a twosome gets asked dumb, well meaning but invasive questions and I find it silly to feel obliged to answer them.

Now then, as to the actual question: If the absence of desire was triggered by a traumatic event, certainly I think therapy is in order.
If there's no nasty, dark cloud underlying the lack of interest, or if they once had average sexual urges that either dwindled or just plain shut off, then they ought to seek out medical advice to rule out a physical cause like hormonal imbalances or thyroid trouble, which can present problems far beyond stupid questions.
If there is no physical cause and the individual is content with their life, then why is this my business....except that it provides me with an escort who probably will not try to get too friendly after two or three drinks.

Conventional wisdom and anecdotal evidence suggest that both sexes begin life as asexual critters. They seem to remain asexual in most instances until reaching puberty. At that point in their development most appear to peak in their second decade, and then almost imperceptibly experience a gradual decline in arousal by propinquity to others of same or opposite gender. In the ninth decade of life most heteros still alive approach a renewed asexual status, IMHO. It seems reasonable, therefore, to acknowledge that there must be a population of AVEN oriented people out there, between the ages of 12 and 95.

quote:

Originally posted by babthrower:
Yabbut, isn't it true that for certain illnesses, couldn't you be physically sick and believe that you're not sick?

Yeah, that too.

Frank, how did you reason that since we are naturally asexual at certain points in our lives, some people could be asexual from 12-95?

Jusork, I believe that since there is an indeterminate beginning and end to libidinous proclivities, and since some people profess to be completely devoid of sexual interest in others, it seems not unreasonable that there would be a measurable population who are asexual throughout their lifetimes. It doesn't sound like a great deal of fun, but chacun a son gout.

I get what Frank is saying, it's a continuum. So stands to reason there'd be some with zero or very low motivation. I wonder if some religious people would find it immoral - not breeding, I mean.