A few days ago a friend and I went out. We parted ways at 2 am. I received a phone call informing me that my friend had been sexually assaulted at gun point. I have been a mess. I keep thinking. Was someone following us. Was someone watching us. I should have waited to leave till she left. I didn't hear this from her but another friend told me. It was also brought up that she doesn't want anyone to know. I was told not to mention anything until she tells me. What can I do. How can I help her.
The police were informed.
N2

Well, if she doesn't want anyone to know, the best thing is to wait for her to need your support.

Second, gather materials that will help you help her (websites and other information).

Third, do NOT blame yourself, you did nothing to cause her assault.

Thanks Sherasi. I can't help myself. I have been crying non stop since it happened. I will see her at work if she goes this week. I will let her tell me herself. It is just hard to know what the right thing to do is. Thanks again,
N2

You're right to wait until she tells you, and when she does, I believe you're find the right words to say. If she seems all drawn and worried when you see her, politely ask her if she's okay, because she seems upset. That might be a way for her to confide in you. Good luck, and have your shoulder ready for her.

Nadca, it is so totally awful to have someone you care about get hurt.. especially when you yourself so narrowly avoided injury. That can only load the emotional guilt on you!

I suggest YOU go get some counceling, for at least a short time, to help manage your own feelings on this.

I have also been part of a close-call rape (the only reason he didn't was his kids were in the next room and he was afraid they'd get woken up). And I cried and cried and felt so dirty. And that was even when I DIDN'T get raped!

Nadca - what a horrible thing to have to hear happen to a friend. I'm curious tho...if she doesn't want anyone to know what happen then why did she tell the person who ultimately turned around and told you? Perhaps she knew this mutual friend would tell you and this was her way of letting you know what had happened without having to relive the memories by telling you herself.

Usually I agree with the majority of people who post in these serious forums but in this instance I'm gonna have to be odd man out and say that if it were me I'd let her know that I knew what happened and that "I felt horrible and guilty and I am here for you when you want to talk about it" She might be relieved that you know and it could be possible that even tho you are not to blame for what happened she might harbor some regret that you didn't wait to see that she left safely.

You have to put yourself in her mind's eye. She is scared and hurt and probably not thinking rationally so if she does blame you realize that it was not your fault but that this is her way of coping right now.

If she is at work she's going to need a lot of support and I'm sure you will be there for her.

Thanks guys. I confided in a co worker who happens to be a retired RCMP officer (Royal Canadian Mounted Police). I figured he would be able to help and he said pretty much what you guys have told me to do. He told me don't feel bad there is nothing I could have done to prevent what happened. And go to her work to speak with her. Which I did but she is not there yet. I will go by again tomorrow. He also mentioned that the reason she may not have called yet is because she is also scared that something had happened to me. I plan on doing all I can for my friend. I thank you all again for your input. It has had been a tremendous help. Georgia, the person who told me was not suppose to know either. But is very close to the person in-which house she is at this particular time. They knew I was out with her so figured I would want to know and to see if I saw any suspicious men looking our way. This person is also a very close friend of both of us. Relation too.
N2