Not with a boyfriend.... I have a girlfriend that when in high school we were very close and after graduation we didn't talk, until last summer. The problem is we just don't have anything in common anymore and even though I think she is nice, I just don't want to be best friends anymore. She calls me all the time and e-mails me constantly, I usually make up excuses why I can't do things, but it gets old and tiresome trying to avoid her, is there a good way (without hurting her) that I don't really want to always do stuff? This is so hard, if she were a guy it would be easy, help!!!

Hi Kitty:
Before you do anything harsh take a look at
Sonnet's beautiful poem. (To “C”: Wherever She May Be) in the game room, poetry contest, page 2.

I think as we grow older we all will have "Known" a "C"

Best regards
Mike b. (AKA Byter)

sometimes people don't get the subtle, gentle hint of being ignored... other times, people are paranoid of it (like me).

you know her best. just come out and say it. the longer you wait, the more it'll hurt. she will probably be hurt a little bit, maybe even depressed for a day (two at max, any more, and there are other factors at play). try to be gentle, yet natural and "eloquent" (fluid when speaking). you know her best, i should suppose.


stay loose.

Kitty she started talking to you again because she needs a friend and you were responsive. Making excuses is step one of backing away - being less responsive. You can also not reply to her every email or answer all her calls. If she does not take the hint at that and gravitate to someone new then you have to be more direct. Tell her you are not interested in doing this or that instead of an excuse. You may have to flat out tell her you do not feel any commonality. It can be done without bloodying things. Just that your paths have diverged and so on. It really is not different from breaking up with a guy.

Thanks for the advice, the poem sonnet wrote is great. I don't want to stop being her friend altogether (if thats possible) It's just that she calles me a lot and it's always the same, I am her personal cheerleader (that is also okay, once in a while) but it is all I am. I hate to hurt anyone and I feel for her, but I also feel like I am being used, she never asks how I am, she is one of those friends in need people who seem to drain all energy from you. Gatman, I guess the reason breaking up with a "love" is easier is beacause you break up due to the fact that there isn't any reason to continue a realtionship that won't go into something more, like marriage, etc... with a friend what can you say, we have no chemisrty? Thanks again for the good advice guys, I am going to try to be her friend, just not constant buddy!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Byter:
Hi Kitty:
Before you do anything harsh take a look at
Sonnet's beautiful poem. (To “C”: Wherever She May Be) in the game room, poetry contest, page 2.

I think as we grow older we all will have "Known" a "C"

Best regards
Mike b. (AKA Byter)[/QUOTE]

Mike, your referral was excellent. you are right about growing older and having a "C".

i have not seen my "C" since the summer of 1986

the best way is to do whats called the "Phase Out". Slowly start ignoring her phone calls, cancelling plans and such.
Start making yourself very unavalable. If she calls make the conversation short, I.E., "oh i'm so sorry I was just about to leave can I call you later?"
Eventually she will accept the brush off.

Now if that fails, and you still can't get rid of her its time for what I call,
"The Ostrich Method"

This is the most extreme to get rid of an unwanted person. Have her hang out with a group of friends, then like ostriches sorta "stick your head in the sand and ignore the heck out of her" That will definately give her the hint.

Honesty is the best policy.