So... last week this guy who I used to work with confessed that he's always had a big crush on me. I always had a crush on him too, but was too shy to say anything. So I let him know that I liked him too, and everything is fine with that.

We're in the process of making plans to get together, but it's kind of hard to figure out what to do/where to go because we live in a fairly small town. I don't know him extremely well, only as a friend/co-worker, so we definitely need to do something where we can get to know each other better. The restaurants around here tend to be really busy and noisy with kids and such. So I was thinking about inviting him over to just hang out and watch a movie or something, but I don't want to seem aggressive and/or weird for inviting him into my home so early on.

So I need some advice... guys and gals, do you think that such an invite would be too awkward at this point? All I want to do is get to know him better, and he definitely knows that I'm not promiscious by any means. Please let me know what you all think!

In my experience, the ideal "first date" is to go play pool (or to go bowling, miniature golfing,etc). A specific activity makes any lulls in the conversation less awkward and a fairly simple activity does not require so much attention that conversation becomes difficult... Pool is especially good because most places with pool tables also have juke boxes and that is a great way to learn someone's taste in music.

I would advise against inviting him to your place at this point if you live in a small town. It is inevitable that someone from work will see his car parked there and the gossip will spread like spring weeds, besides which, it is easier to hold off on making someone welcome to come to your house than it is to later tell them you'd rather they did not come over if it should turn out that you're not a good match.

Under no circumstances should you include Italian food in an early date, everyone is nervous enough the first few dates without adding the hazards of marinara to the equation.

I agree with MrsS.

Shooting pool is perfect and leaves plenty of time for conversation. If you don't know how to play then let him teach you. If you go bowling just know he will be checking out your butt.

I agree with the earlier suggestions.

Of course, a pizza place with a movie would also be fun. Roller blading and other outdoor activities are fun.. it depends on the weather and what you are interested in and what is available.

As a guy, I agree with what has been suggested. Pool is better than bowling, not only because of the music, but bowling is a bit too open, too loud, and, in many cases, other bowlers can get obnoxious. I've been a quite a few pool halls, and most are much better, open, yet quiet enough for conversation. Pool is also much cheaper than an arcade with all the traps.

Have fun!

[But Clare is only half right. Yes, bowling is looking time (for both sexes), but so is pool. Or foosball, or pinball, or any video game, or just plain walking, or...]

I think bowling is good. Pool is usually located in a bar and a bar is just not as good a location for a first date. If you happen to have a GOOD pool hall that is a different story. There used to be good pool halls, but the ones I've been in lately are filled with video games and kids, smoke and pretty unpleasant in general. The bars that have pool tables are bars and therefore not the best spot for a first date.

If you take DG's post above and reverse everything he says about pool to bowling, then I'd be in perfect agreement with him. I have been on many bowling dates and it's always fun. The bowling alleys around here are clean, well lit, play pretty awful but silly fun music and are filled with all different kinds of people including some funny obnoxious people. If you aren't particularly good at bowling or pool then go with bowling because it's fun even if you are horrible at it.

Keep it simple - go for pizza and bowling. Have fun!

MrsS - I agree that a specific activity makes lulls in conversation less awkward... but here's the problem... the only pool halls and bowling alleys we have around here are in a somewhat bad part of town, and are almost to the point of dangerous to visit. I understand where you're coming from about not inviting him to my place. Gossip could definitely be an issue, although I don't really care (and don't think he does either) if people from work find out.

clarebear - Of course he will! HAHA

Sherasi - Thanks for the suggestions!

DorianGreyed - I agree that bowling can be problematic (and also kind of dangerous in my area). Even though we live in a small town, there is a sizable gang/drug presence in these parts. Your ending comment cracked me up!

aminator2002 - Thanks for the ideas.


Gosh, I never thought that trying to figure out where to go on a date could get this complicated! All I want to do is get to know the guy better, but around here there's really nowhere to go to just talk and hang out. It's quite frustrating, because a first date is awkward enough without random distractions, you know? I guess I'll figure something out...