We passed in the store the other day. I haven't seen him in over 15 years. I heard he's divorced; and also his mother died. I'm sad for him. I'm married for over 15 years w/ 2 wonderful sons. The marriage is a major challenge - too many issues to mention or think about any more.
Would I regret contacting him? - just to talk and offer condolences - really, only for that! Possibly I'm seeking a man to talk to. 'We' don't do much of that anymore. But I'm sad for 'him'. He was so close to his mother and with the holidays approaching . . .
Posts: 108 | Location: Westminster, CO, USA | Registered: 06-05-02
We passed in the store the other day. I haven't seen her in over 15 years. I heard she's having some difficulty in her marriage. Her father died recently, and the holidays are coming up. I'm sad for her. I'm married for over 15 years w/ 2 wonderful sons, but the marriage is a major challenge - too many issues to mention or think about any more. (My wife and I don't seem to talk anymore.) Should I contact her? I just want a woman to talk to, nothing more. She looked so sad; she was so close to her father.
How would you want someone to answer your husband if he wrote the above?
Posts: 17456 | Location: Lincoln Place, Granite City, IL, USA | Registered: 06-03-02
My advice to this person is the same as I would want given to my husband. Lead this woman to a friend that is female, or single. Yes, maybe she needs a friend, but it doesn't have to be my husband or a married man at all.
Posts: 2177 | Location: USA | Registered: 09-13-03
If you are having issues in your relationship then that is where you need to invest your energy- not in an old flame. If your intentions are as pure as you say then why don't you just send him a card signed Julia and family. He has gotten along just fine without you for 15 years. I think contacting him will just create a lot of heartache for everyone. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone that you can not tell your husband and kids about then it is wrong. Can you have your husband go with you to offer your condolences? Would you even want your husband there? If you can't allow your husband to go with you then you have answered your own question. Don't let pity become your excuse to look for happiness elsewhere. That energy could be invested better at home with your family.
Posts: 5308 | Location: The Motor City | Registered: 06-03-02
Thanks for the sound advice. I'd better figure out if there are other reasons to want to contact my old flame. The person I'm really missing is my husband, the man that I still live with.
Posts: 108 | Location: Westminster, CO, USA | Registered: 06-05-02
Originally posted by Julia0802: Thanks for the sound advice. I'd better figure out if there are other reasons to want to contact my old flame. The person I'm really missing is my husband, the man that I still live with.
Live with?, you do not use the word love.
Do you still love him? Is it closeness you miss? Do you know yourself well enough to know what it is you miss?
Posts: 17 | Location: Devon, England, UK | Registered: 07-07-06
