I seriously doubt I'm the only one having or had problems with this. My son has already drug me through the mud with him. He is calming quite a lot thankfully. I don't even know what to do with the next one, 12 year old girl. The clothes, hair, and make up have to be so perfect for their catty little popularity competition. The attitude is something else.
How do you raise a teen and stay sane???? ***************************************************** 02-18-03, 09:06 AM Texan-In-Exile Wildflower - If you find out - let me know!
I thought I was going to end up in a straitjacket with my son! Somehow we all survived and now - at age 27 - he's really great to have around! (Might as well be - he's certainly never gonna leave... Roll Eyes ) Of course it took some rough experiences for him to figure out that maybe Mom and Dad know a little something after all... And now he (usually) has sense enough to know what and what not to say!
So now - I have a 14-year-old daughter! Eek Wildflower - I know exactly what you mean about perfect clothes, hair and make-up...And ATTITUDE!! She honestly thinks that we are here to serve her! And she lets us know it! Sometimes grounding her from the computer doesn't even make that much difference. It helps - only a little - to add phone privileges to that. Sometimes we have to make the restriction for several days. And there have been a time or two that we added her music to that! (That was the one thing that really got through to our son - taking away his music for a while.)
The thing is to not back down. (Yeah, right!) And if you have to ground her from anything, make it something that counts, something that she'll miss, and for a period of time that makes her think. All this and trying to keep the lines of communication open. ARGH!!
Heck - if you need to, you can e-mail me too! And I'm sure you'll find you have a lot of company in this matter!
For now - I'm just looking forward to the time I can have my very own padded cell where I can sit and smile and maybe weave a basket or two...
02-18-03, 11:15 AM Sherasi My mom had a .. well a poster for want of a better descroption. It said:
"Why take drugs? Having teenagers is as far from reality I want to get!"
02-18-03, 11:55 PM jejelale I guess I was pretty lucky with my first two teens. The 18 and 16 year olds just pride themselves on being themself. They don't like to be part of the in crowd, no expensive clothes, makeup to the minimum and don't care what other people think. They figured it out early that these things dont matter. My 14 year old is quite the opposite.She went from being a sweet kid to the daughter from hell. I love her to death, but there are day's I want to kiss the ground when she get's on the school bus. Makeup, attitude, I know it all, don't tell me, constant phone calls-No wonder I always carry tylenol in my purse. Oh, I forgot to mention the first boyfriend in her life. My god-the world seems to revolve around him, I am really beginning to hate the name Sean. All we ever do is agrue. I have tried the grounding, no computer, phone, friends. It doesn't seem to work. She gets in trouble at school, but it never seems to be her fault,(I know better) I am so glad to hear I am not alone!!
02-19-03, 02:36 AM Wildflower63 Yes Jej, that is exactly the problem I have. They both do their share. Every day there is some nightmare to solve. I wonder about their sanity at times. I then remember we are talking about teenager. Nothing reasonable about that term. At 12 and 16, they both bombard me. They gang up on me too. This is what I never could picture, myself as a parent of a teenager! My mother is probably laughing. I'm getting my paybacks times 100!
Someone please give me the dirrections of this stuff! I'm ill equipped here.
02-19-03, 06:42 AM Elexina What is it they say, that everyone with a teenager should have a pink padded room built into their house?
02-19-03, 09:34 AM jejelale Hopefully, they will grow up and have kids of their own that are duplicates of themselves. AND if they don't drive us to an early grave before then, we could sit back and LAUGH. Big Grin Big Grin
02-26-03, 08:29 PM Wildflower63 That's exactly what my mother wished on my brother and me! It must work.
03-10-03, 06:58 PM southern_belle All I can say is I feel your pain. I am going throught the sme thing. My only sanity is they will be gone most of the summer to the grandparents. Then they will see how their little angels really act Smile. I know it's cruel but hey the Grandparents asked for them. Smile
04-03-03, 05:34 PM Oceangurl My heart goes out to you Wildflower! My fiance has a 12-year old daughter and she's at my house quite often. She's a good kid, but she's into all that "perfect hair, perfect clothes" nonsense too. She actually told her dad and I that she and her mom joined a gym together so that she can get rid of her "pooch." I thought Gordon was goingto wreck his truck. She's 12-years old an already thinks she has to watch her weight at 4 ft. 11 and 75 pounds!! Her mom has had so much plastic surgery over the years that I think her proper self-image is damaged.
You're raising your kids as a single mom and for that I give you enormous credit and applause! Do the best you can and hope that they have listened well to you over the years so that they don't make dumb mistakes.
In the meantime, please don't forget to be kind to yourself. You deserve some pampering and time to yourself to unwind.
You'll all survive and look back like "whew, how did I ever get through those years!" Hang in there girl, you'll be stronger for the wear Smile
04-03-03, 07:12 PM gatman I feel so lucky with my girl. She has twice the sense of her mom (and my good looks to boot Wink). She is into clothes a bit but nothing really overboard. If I had a major problem on this I would give her an allowance and let her buy the clothes and make up - with advice offered of course. The idea is to teach them priorities and budgeting. Nothing like a serving of real life to jolt them to reality.
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