My pearnts are strict and rude to me and my girl friend. I'm 20 years old and so is she. After each date, we go back to my house and go in my room and make out. On some occations they told me not to take her in my room. They feel unconfortable about it. All I do is feel her breasts, kiss her body and that's it. It's not like we are having sex. By the way, that would be a little hard to do with the door open and perants being home and couild be coming around the cornner. I've done that with her many other times and they would just say leave the door open which I do. I'm 20 years old and that is a bunch of crud. What sould I do? It just makes me want to get my own place and do what ever I want to do in it. Might I add that we have not seen each other in a long time so I think we deserve to be alone in my room and make out after been being away for so long.
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06-10-06, 12:03 PM
DorianGreyed
While I think that children have rights at home that are usually unrecognized, you have to face the fact that you are living in their home, one that they pay for, and that generally, the one who owns the ball makes the rules. You mention your age, but not hers. That could be a factor. But maybe it is just that they feel uncomfortable with you two making out (and, apparently a little more) in the house. If, after discussing the situation with them, you feel that they are being unreasonable, or even if they will not discuss it at all, you still have the option of moving out. You may find, however, that living on your own is far more expensive than you thought.

06-10-06, 12:12 PM
MrsS
Doug, I hate to be the bearer of bad but obvious news.

It is their house.
If they are not comfortable, for whatever reason, with you and your girlfriend enjoying intimacies in their home, you have no right whatsoever to complain or to ignore their standards under their roof.

Feel free to get a decent job and move into a place of your own where your parents' ideals need not be observed.

I do have to point out, though, that without some remedial work on your grammar and spelling, a job that does not include the phrases "Welcome to WalMart", "You want fries with that?" or "D'want your car vacuumed for an extra buck fifty?" may be difficult to find.
I strongly urge you to take a night class or something to improve your skills in basic English and to quit worrying so much about thwarting your parents' wishes.

06-10-06, 01:15 PM
MsSueM
Was it really necessary to insult the original poster -- his language abilities, predicting he'll never make anything of himself, stereotyping all people who hold those types of jobs as "dumb" -- in order to answer his question?

quote:
It just makes me want to get my own place and do what ever I want to do in it.


Exactly, Doug. Your feelings of wanting independence are natural and good, a way to push you into adulthood; try not to focus on anger or trying to change your parents... put your energies into exciting plans to do what you have to do to move out and become a self-sufficient, self-governing individual. Cool

06-10-06, 01:54 PM
clarebear
Your parents house isn't a flop house or a hotel. You don't "deserve" anything. At age 20, being allowed to live in your parents house is charity. If you keep disrespecting their rules, that charity will run out soon enough. Eventually you have to be a man and move out. I think you should continue to get help for your learning disability. There may be some organizations out there that can help you make it on your own.

06-10-06, 02:08 PM
jusork

quote:
Originally posted by DorianGreyed:
You mention your age, but not hers.


He said her age is also 20, actually. Wink

Anyway, if you're just doing make out stuff, you could probably just go into the back seat of your car somewhere.

06-10-06, 02:09 PM
clarebear
Are you speaking from experience Jusork? Wink

06-10-06, 02:11 PM
jusork
Oh, I know all the best places to take the ladies. Wink

06-10-06, 02:16 PM
DorianGreyed
Sorry, I missed her age. My original advice still stands, however. Have you thought about buying a van?

06-10-06, 07:23 PM
MrsS
[QUOTE]Originally posted by MsSueM:
Was it really necessary to insult the original poster -- his language abilities, predicting he'll never make anything of himself, stereotyping all people who hold those types of jobs as "dumb" -- in order to answer his question?
QUOTE]

Actually, Sue, I did not intend my advice regarding his language skills as "insulting" but as a realistic statement that the option of getting his own pad becomes a much easier goal if he has the skills needed to get a better than minimum wage job. I NEVER said that those working such jobs are "dumb", in fact, the word "dumb" never appeared in my reply.I never said Doug will never make anything of himself and I'd appreciate your refraining from putting words in my mouth. All I said and all I meant was that his undeniably sub-par language skills are going to make it harder than it needs to be to become independent and self supporting.
I do think Doug needs to reconsider his priorities and I do think it's a bit ridiculous that, at 20, he is still enjoying the luxury of living in his parent's home, presumably rent free(I feel sure he'd have mentioned it if he were carrying his weight financially) and complaining of ill treatment because the people who are feeding and sheltering him expect him to show a bit of respect for their standards.

06-10-06, 09:22 PM
FredPuli
Doug, let's face it, if you want different rules than you'll have to find either a) new parents or b) a new address. Finding new parents at your age is hard, but if you did they'd wonder what kind of 'kid' they had who thought he could make the rules in their house and change any he didn't like Wink.You're twenty and should be living somewhere else and making your own rules but if you can't or won't then, tough !

Now I fully expect you to say things like " But other parents let their twenty year olds do (name activity) in their house". Had you been my son you might have been permitted (and the rest); my daughter is younger than you, in a steady relationship, and is fully permitted; but you aren't and whilst you are in your parents' place you must respect them.(Don't worry, you're not missing much: you've no idea just how bad my daughter's parents are in other ways, ways you'd not like ! And that's life).

06-11-06, 05:46 PM
kittypal
Sorry Doug, but I have to agree with everyone else....It IS your parents home and they make the rules...I wasn't even allowed to have a boy in my room with the door opened OR closed. Smile

06-11-06, 09:17 PM
honilov

quote:
What sould I do? It just makes me want to get my own place and do what ever I want to do in it.


That's exactly what you should do. Get your own place, and let us know when you get it. Your parents are not being strict, they just want respect. If you had your own place, they wouldn't care what you and your girlfriend do behind closed doors.

06-13-06, 03:15 AM
HOSS
Doug

There has been some great advice given.
Also Doug there is nothing to be ashamed of because you have trouble writing. But for your own good I would listen to the advice and seek help.
what little I know about reading and writing I have learned after the age of 18. I did not get to finish school. I went on and off until I quit in the 8th grade.
I am still learning and I make alot of mistakes but I have come a long ways.

I know Doug there is a lot of help for this. its just a matter of taking that step. When you start learning you will notice a big difference.
I also agree learning to read and write will help to find a much better job. [if thats a problem.]

Doug I am not picking. I have been there and I know how bad it can make you fill and how much harder it can make life.

As for the problems with your parents I am a firm believer in the my house my rules deal.
I think that is something that can be hard to understand until you are on your own and can see the other side of it.

Thanks.

06-13-06, 04:49 PM
DvdGStwrt

quote:
Originally posted by Doug:
It just makes me want to get my own place and do what ever I want to do in it.



There you have it.

When I was 16 I took the GED to get out of school fast, got two jobs and moved out. Also as a foot note to that, when I was 17 I had a girl pregnant and was on the way to the altar.

What I'm saying is that at 20 you are old enough to hold down a job and get your own place. Old enough to fight in wars and to vote - not quite old enough to drink though Wink

It’s an option. Personally I couldn’t wait to get out of my father’s house and out from under HIS roof. But that is for other reasons than the ones you have.

If you really want to have time with your GF then maybe renting a hotel room is up the alley.

Did I state that I got a girl pregnant and married her (in that order) when I was way too young? Might want to keep that in mind if you consider hotel room.

Parents tend to have odd rules but usually for good reasons – I bet if you got down to the root of the matter your parents are terrified you’ll get the girl preggies and then have to marry at such a tender age.

06-13-06, 04:50 PM
kittypal
Hoss, see what you have to look forward to in about 18 years!!! Wink

06-13-06, 05:45 PM
juanruiz
I admire the way you have ingeniously turned yourself and your girlfriend into victims, when what it all boils down to is that you are afraid you won't have a place to get your jollies. As stated above, get a motel room if the intimacy is worth that much to you. But to make your parents the bad guys in all this is disingenuous at best.

06-13-06, 10:45 PM
coldfuse
Fun? Parents are not meant to be fun. They are not meant to be your friends. You have plenty of friends elsewhere. They are meant to do a job that nobody else in the world will do for you: be your parents.

And you are lucky they are doing their job. Far too many parents let their kids control the household for fear of some sort of childish temper tantrum. And these kids have childish tantrums precisely because they have not yet grown up and need strict parents!

One day you will appreciate every breath they take and count your blessings that your parents weren't cool, that they didn't try to be your friend, that they weren't anything but good parents who raised you the best they could!

And I am assuming that "pearnts" is simply a typographical error. It's easy to do that when your dander is up!

06-14-06, 12:04 AM
HOSS
Kittypal I don't want to think about it. someone told me my kids will be twice as bad as I was. if thats true I am in big trouble.

Thanks. Hoss

06-14-06, 11:44 PM
SeattleRon
Hey Doug, either get a job and move out or deal with it.

Or, get a hotel dogg.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,