A book I glanced at referred to rich Americans having their 'nannies and au pairs' The writer was English. He may have been referring, I suppose, to Americans when in Europe . Do Americans in the USA have au pairs ? Which countries are they drawn from? What is the international agreement that governs the arrangement?

My son and his wife have had two nannies or au pairs. One was from Sweden and the other was from Germany. I don't know all the details about how it works except that it is done through agencies. You can't just hire someone on your own because of work laws. Evidently the agencies have worked out a special arrangement with the U.S. government to bring in these workers. I think that the contracts are for one year. There are strict rules that have to be followed. My son's biggest complaint was that both the girls coming over and the families hiring them were lied to. The families were told that they were getting girls to come in and help with the children and the girls were told that they were coming to be part of a family with the work part de-emphasized. The truth is somewhere in between so neither party is happy with the arrangement although I am it sure that it must work out O.K. for some.

DD

I have heard similar things about au pairs. A lot of the time, it seems, the girls are under the impression that it's sort of like being an exchange student for older people, and problems happen when she is expected to care full time for a child. This all goes back to really needing a reputable agency who doesn't lie to both parties.

An 'au pair' is a girl who is to be treated as you would your own daughter of that age. She is not some low paid or free housemaid, cleaner,cook, waitress and children's governess and nanny combined (that person does exist and is called, in English,a mother ). As she is 'a daughter' she is like a much older sister to the children. The best au pairs we had were already older sisters at home, so they took to this role perfectly. Their prime role is to help with the (young) children and, in addition, do some light housework.

There is an international agreement between Britain and some other countries which created and governs the arrangement. The primary purpose of the girl's stay is to learn English and she is to be given time for this study, the number of hours and the duties she is expected to perform are very limited.

Provided that the family and the girl both understand the role there should be no problem. Not every family or girl does. That is why the use of an agency for au pairs is desirable for both sides.

My sister and her husband have had many au pairs. They are typically from Germany or Hungary with the agency that they used. The girls take care of the kids for a limited time each day and may agree to do some housework for extra cash. I believe that many countries have agencies that represent au pairs here in the states and I know that American girls go over seas in au pair programs.

The reason some people complain that it is "like" an adult student exchange is because it is an adult student exchange. Most of the au pairs that come to the states are required to take some classes while here. It is not a full time baby sitting service but can be used to fill in after school and on school vacation days while Mom and Dad are at work. It is quite expensive. My sister had to provide a separate bed room and bath and provided a separate car for the au pair... the kids treated the au pairs as an older sister.

Several of my students worked as au pairs in Spain, with varying success. One had a great time, another was treated like Cinderella and left.