I like humorous "rules" for writers. I am sure there must be others.

1.Foreign words are not always a propos. They are usually verboten in plain English.

2.Please don't give vent to loquacity in your writing by using extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

3.Phonics werks for some, but Fenomal spelling is rarely found.

4.Use spell checkers as they are hear to stay!

5.In English grammer, a "double positive" can never make a negative ......Yeah, Right!

6.Remember not to use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.

7.Subliminal messages(Thirsty?Have a Coke!)are not appropriate in most writing!

8.Avoid cliches like the plague; They are old hat. Seek viable alternatives, or at least get some new cliches.

9.Lastly, remember that literacy ain't everything!

William Safire is credited for some.
If this has been a previous topic, I claim ignorance in my defense.

I like number 6.....

There are some people on this site that should read number 6....

These five aren't mine, but I'll never forget them!

1. Exaggeration is a billion times better than understatement.
2. Be more or less specific.
3. Who needs rhetorical questions?
4. Avoid alliteration. Always.
5. ne word sentences? Eliminate!

These are very funny! Number 8 is my favorite.

Not particularly funny, but worth reading...

Politics and the English Language George Orwell

"1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2. Never us a long word where a short one will do.

3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous."