Hi, everyone. I am probably the most unhappy I've ever been in my life right now. I am working at a job I hate and feeling totally incompetent every day. I feel like a failure in every way. A good day is a day in which I don't cry, and that's about the best I can hope for these days. I've recently moved and don't have any friends or family (except my husband, who has been wonderful) to go to for support, either. I'm feeling lost and don't know what I'm going to do about this.

I know there are more important things in the world than little old me, and I don't even know if it would actually help, but any good thoughts, energies or prayers couldn't hurt, could they?

Thanks.
********************************************************
10-27-06, 02:28 PM
Julieta Martinez
Hey we all feel that way at times. But if you were incompetent and a failure, do you think you´d have that wonderful husband by your side??

The friends will come to you with time. Give yourself time. I remember when I moved here from LA, I knew NO ONE! I felt stuck in my house because I knew no one. Besides in a small town most people already have the friends they´ve had for their whole lives, but there´s always room for another, and I wouldn´t worry about friends.

But try to look at the good side of things and thank God for the supportive husband of yours, because not everyone is as lucky. And, your attitude can affect his as well.

Good luck to you!!!

10-27-06, 02:36 PM
juanruiz
Cálmate, hija. We all have down times. I suggested that you find another position; a job shouldn't cause such grief. No te preocupes; todo se te mejorará. Give it time.

10-27-06, 02:58 PM
bik74
Yes as JR said give it time. I will pray for you. Dont take any work at home.
If there is an accountancy related matters maybe i could give some advise Smile. It takes time to settle in with any job.

10-27-06, 06:28 PM
Insaf
You will always pass failure on the way to success.
Sarai, from your previous posts I have known that you have the ability to look at the big picture. Think of it as a bad patch. And everyone goes through it. Churchill once said that
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. "

Cheerup! Smile

10-27-06, 09:13 PM
Tree
There's definitely some good advice given here. Sarai, in our area it's an employee's market. Employers are having a hard time keeping people. If that's the case for you - drop them - get another job. NO job is worth crying over.

It's pretty bad to be getting up in the morning, thinking of how much you hate the job that you're about to go to.

10-27-06, 09:59 PM
DorianGreyed
Sarai, I'm sure you'll agree that your health is more important than what the job pays you, regardless of how much you make. Working at a job that you hate will take its toll on your health; I know because I've been there. Give notice (or not), take a few days or a week off, and then go out and find a new job. You found this one, you can find another.

I've recently moved and don't have any friends or family (except my husband, who has been wonderful) to go to for support, either.

You've got quite a few here on AP. You're not alone; we're always here.

Please let us know how things are going. If you feel it's necessary to post daily about things, do it. Like I said, we're always here.

10-27-06, 11:01 PM
Sarai
Thank you so much for your thoughts and support, everyone. You have no idea what it means to me.

Unfortunately, I don't know if quitting is a viable option right now. It's a long, complicated story that would reveal more about me than I'm comfortable sharing on a public forum, but basically quitting would be throwing away what I've studied to become. I would have to start from scratch in a new career, and we can't afford for me to start from scratch right now. I'm not really educated to do anything other than what I do, which is about the most depressing thing about all of this. How can I have so much education that is so utterly and completely worthless? Anyway, we definitely can't afford for me to be unemployed right now, either. I would really like to quit, but it just doesn't seem like a wise option right now.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know how a person can go about getting cheap or free career counseling? Maybe there is something out there that I don't know about, but I suspect that I've just made all the wrong decisions in life, professionally speaking, and I'm going to have to live with that.

Thanks for your thoughts and kind words, though. I really need them.

10-27-06, 11:12 PM
DorianGreyed
I'm not sure if you are in the states or not, but if you are, look at services that are available through the unemployment office or the public aid office. If the counseling isn't offered, thery may be able to put you in touch with somewhere it is offered.

10-27-06, 11:15 PM
Sarai
Thanks, Dorian. Yes, I just returned to the states, and I'm regretting very much the decision. *Sigh.* But thanks for your suggestion!

10-27-06, 11:35 PM
DorianGreyed
If you e-mail me (my screenname at AnswerPool.com) and tell me what state you are in, I'll try to find some free or low-cost career counseling locations. Two books I wish I had read when I was younger may also help.

What Color Is Your Parachute? 2007: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers

The One Minute Manager (Don't let the title of this throw you off. It has applications in many aspects of one's life and personal development.)

10-27-06, 11:43 PM
dance girl
A few years ago your post could have been written by me..all the things you said were the feelings I had then.
BUT things do have a way of turning themselves around and one of the things that really helped me, was to get out there and, even if its doing just a little thing, help other people.
I know it sounds so simple but it really does help and you get to meet new people that way.

This is only my 2nd post so i hope you dont mind me giving you my advice Smile

10-28-06, 05:10 AM
Karrow
Sarai, I hope that knowing you have friends here at AnswerPool has helped. Moving away from friends can be a very difficult, and if you also start a job you hate at the same time then you are bound to be miserable. If you are now in the career you've been working towards it's a pity that you have to leave it. Can't you get the same job somewhere else?

I'm sending thoughts and good vibes as you asked, and I sincerely hope that things get better for you.

Dance Girl, welcome to AnswerPool. Everyone's advice is valued here whetheer they've posted one or a thousand replies. Smile

10-28-06, 05:11 AM
tsaeb
Maybe you can find a veteran at your job who is not in your immediate working area but can act as your mentor.

It sounds to me as though you are in the teaching field. If so, just put classroom management at the top of your list.

In whatever line of work you are in right now, toughen yourself up with the thought that you are the first one who has to get through the day.

When I began a new and challenging career many years ago, I used to grade myself at the end of each day and think of how I would improve the following day. My grades ranged from C to A, never F. Do this, and you will already feel better. Any effort you make is not worth an F.

I am impressed by your humble effort of reaching out to us, and I am certain that you are happy at the responses you have gotten here.

11-16-06, 09:18 PM
Sarai
I just wanted to thank you all for your responses. Things are going better at my job lately. I think I've been going through reverse culture shock since moving back to the US, and it's just been magnified a million times by the type of work I do. I'm hoping that's why I've been unhappy, and that the fact that the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit better is an indication that I'm past the worst of it. Americans are a crazy, disrespectful bunch of morons, but deep down, I love us anyway. Wink

DG- if I find I can't hack it after a few more months, I will definitely email you for help! I'm starting to feel much more positive, though.

Thanks again. Your thoughts really meant a lot to me.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,