Shaggy, I know you and I have our differences of opinion. One thing we share, though, in common with all, is the loss of a loved one. While I realize you do not believe much of what I do, I have found the information in the brochure, When Someone You Love Dies, to bring me comfort and hope.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Bibleman

12-26-02, 11:14 AM
Diarmait
Shaggy,

Thank you for sharing your loss. I will keep your family and your grandmother in my prayers.

12-26-02, 12:27 PM
Lydia
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm of the opinion that your grandmother was holding on until she was ready to let go. She made it to Christmas, was able to speak and smile/laugh with you one last time. That was likely the best Christmas present SHE ever had!!! You were blessed to be able to enjoy speaking with her one more time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Lydia

12-26-02, 12:33 PM
juanruiz
My sincerest sympathies to you and your family.

12-26-02, 04:10 PM
Scotty
Shaggy,
So sorry to hear about your Grandmother. You and your family are in ours prayers.

12-26-02, 10:00 PM
vedere
Shaggy,

With deep and sincere condolences, my heatfelt sympathy goes out to you and to your parents at the death of your grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time of loss..

Your love for each other will always remain in your heart. May God strengthen and uplift you in the days to come.

vedere

12-27-02, 02:50 AM
tsaeb
My sympathies to you and your family.

Do count your blessings also.

12-27-02, 06:55 AM
Elexina
Shaggy, everyone suffers loss from time to time but you seem particularly bitter. Not to trivialize your suffering, but are you perhaps angry with your grandmother because she dared to ruin your holiday with her inconsiderately timed death? I am very sorry for your loss, but I do wish you would elaborate more on the point of your post. Do you just want to commiserate? Do you want sympathy? Empathy? What exactly are you looking for here?

12-27-02, 12:48 PM
Katanya2000
Elexina,

Please allow me to reply to this. I in no way want to seem to be answering for Shaggy, but I think I may understand.

You see...recently I almost made a very similar post when I learned that an old friend of mine had been murdered....in a particularly brutal fasion. The loss tore at me. I wanted to shout at the world for it's senslessness. The only reason I DIDN'T post is because I knew that nothing anyone could say could make me feel better about the fact that one of the sweetest people I had ever known was taken from the world in such a terrible way.

Sometimes when someone loses someone they love, they need to tell about it, maybe even shout about it...not at anyone in particular, but for the simple comfort of release. Sometimes they also need the comfort and kindness of others to remind them of the warmpth of life. And...sometimes people put thier pain in a place like this forum because they can't get it out anywhere else....maybe because there is no one to understand or because they have to be strong for the people around them.

Whatever the reason, I consider Shaggy's post as a simple release of emotion and not anything darker.

12-27-02, 08:03 PM
vedere
Your reply is sensitive and well stated. Shaggy may be away, as he had mentioned before that he was unable to see his grandmother. He was anticipating a telephone call on this very matter.

Even when a death is expected, nothing can prepare family members for the unexpected shock that occurs at the news of losing a beloved family member.

Shaggy is part of the Answer Pool family, whether we agree or disagree with his religious views. Those of us who pray will do so for him. Those of us who do not pray can uplift him in thoughts.

12-28-02, 05:17 PM
Cptinsjs
I pray for you, that you and your family are comforted by God during the holidays.

12-28-02, 05:22 PM
Cptinsjs

quote:Originally posted by Katanya2000:
Elexina,

Please allow me to reply to this. I in no way want to seem to be answering for Shaggy, but I think I may understand.

You see...recently I almost made a very similar post when I learned that an old friend of mine had been murdered....in a particularly brutal fasion. The loss tore at me. I wanted to shout at the world for it's senslessness. The only reason I DIDN'T post is because I knew that nothing anyone could say could make me feel better about the fact that one of the sweetest people I had ever known was taken from the world in such a terrible way.

Sometimes when someone loses someone they love, they need to tell about it, maybe even shout about it...not at anyone in particular, but for the simple comfort of release. Sometimes they also need the comfort and kindness of others to remind them of the warmpth of life. And...sometimes people put thier pain in a place like this forum because they can't get it out anywhere else....maybe because there is no one to understand or because they have to be strong for the people around them.

Whatever the reason, I consider Shaggy's post as a simple release of emotion and not anything darker.



Amen to that, Kat. I have lost two friends, one to cancer, and one to a drunk driver. I did not know them that well, but it still hurt knowing that they were gone. They were awesome people of God, loved Him with all their hearts. It felt good, in a way, to talk about it here (and askjeeves, when answerpoint was up).


...I believe I have spoken enough...

12-30-02, 06:11 AM
Elexina
Kat, I know first hand how awful a loss like this can be and how difficult not being there is. It is dreadful and no one can do anything to make it better.
Interesting side note, the night of my cousin's funeral we all went out for Chinese and my fortune was this: "time is the wisest counsellor." Not a truer word's been spoken.

12-30-02, 12:39 PM
VelvetVoice
First, Shaggy, let me offer my deepest condolences to you and your family at this trying time. I know what it is like to lose a dear family member at a time when the world is supposed to be a happy place. I will tell you about Christmas past, present, and future, in the hopes that you will have comfort with your Answerpool brethren.

We had planned to have a family get-together at our house this year, inviting more people than ever. We also expected for everyone to be stranded due to the winter blizzard that was coming upon us. Since I had some vacation time off, I decided it would be nice to spend plenty of time on house and home, maybe take a winter drive for a family outing. Still, there were a few personal things that needed attention, I went for my annual physical on Christmas Eve, thinking this was just another errand and duty to perform. I went into the doctor’s office with Christmas hymns on my lips, and a song in my heart. I came out with a few frights and some reminiscence of years past. The doctor is sending me for blood tests for ovarian cancer and for thyroid imbalance. My mother and sister have had both of these things, and have had surgery at young ages. Luckily, my previous high numbers for uterine cancer have been corrected with hormone therapy, and I hope it is the case this time around. As for the thyroid, my mother had surgery and is now on hormone therapy for life. Mine is swollen, at I am much younger to develop this problem. However, I am thankful that I have been given the opportunity to see my future, although it is very hard to learn from the pain and suffering of my family members.

So, most of the family had braved the storm and were assembled for dinner and drinks. My Uncle Raymond, due at 1:00 PM had not yet arrived at 5:00 PM, and we began to panic. We called all the local hospitals, and the local police, left messages, called his friends. There was no sign of him anywhere, so we went to my mother’s house across town to check her answering machine. There was a message from Rocky Hill Automotive, this tow truck man saw my uncle stalled on the side of the road and played the Good Samaritan. He was out of gas halfway across the state, headed in the opposite direction, disoriented, could not even remember our names. The state police wanted to fill him up with gas and send him on his way, but the man called his local police. Rocky Hill police called us, and they rushed him to Hartford Hospital for observation. The hospital was not too concerned about my uncle’s condition, but they agreed to keep him overnight there, due to my husband Ed’s insistence. It was a blizzard, and none of us could get to him, nor he to us. Ed also spoke to the ER doctor, and demanded a blood test and a CAT scan to check for signs of stroke or heart attack.

At 11:00 PM, we received a call that my uncle had a large brain tumor, and he needed emergency surgery the next day. We made plans to visit him in the hospital before his surgery, so he would know that we were with him and we would take care of his needs. He didn’t recognize us, but we held his hand and stood with him. We are his only family, I won’t gossip about family secrets here, but we care about his welfare. And, this episode is also a reply of one of my Christmas past. My grandfather (my uncle’s father) also went into the hospital at Christmastime twenty years ago, he had cancer of the blood, and went into a coma that he never came out of. We buried him on New Year’s Eve that year. I was in the midst of finals at college, and so I was the family outcast for years over the situation. My other uncle had a heart attack two weeks ago, but he does have a loving family to care for him. These are only two of the family dramas we have had this year, but we are steadfast and will stick together in a crisis. I thank God that I have been able to serve my family in a more loving and comforting way this year. My wish for service to others has been fulfilled, and again I sorrow that my comfort and joy comes at the expense of those closest to me.

We had a sermon on 1 Peter yesterday, and let me offer you words of Scripture as you endure your trials and suffering. 1 Peter 4:13 says “rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His Glory is revealed.” For the extent that you endure suffering with grace and patience, the greater and more wonderful will be the love you are filled with on Judgement Day. “Rejoice, I say again, rejoice!”

12-30-02, 03:57 PM
vedere
VV,

You have also experienced a "different kind" of a Christmas present. While you are rejoicing, I will be praying.

Take care,
vedere

12-30-02, 11:30 PM
juanruiz
My Dear VV,

If I believed in the power of prayer, know that I would be on my knees in an instant asking for Divine protection and total healing for you. It seems as though Christmas has been trying for several people here.

12-31-02, 03:30 PM
mahal
My wife lost her mother in December when she was young, and Christmas has been a depressing time of year for her ever since. I asked her a few nights ago if it still was, and she said no, not any more.

Don't compound your loss as my wife did. Not that she had any such intention, but more than twenty Christmas seasons were lost to her until she replaced the bad memories with better ones, just because of the coincidence.

What you received for Christmas, your family shared. Perhaps you could in following years give them better thoughts during the holidays. Secretly, you'll know that you're the cause of their happiness, and their happiness will heal you.

12-31-02, 10:50 PM
sonnet26
My Christmas Present
God Bless all of you in your time of trial.

Pax vobiscum.

12-31-02, 10:51 PM
Sherasi
Velvet Voice, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I had very early stages of Cervical CA and had surgery Dec 24th in 1993. I was blessed with my son under a year later, so miracles CAN happen. God Bless!
Sherasi

12-31-02, 10:52 PM
Chicabird
I am so sorry! To shaggy, to VV, to anyone else who has had an awful holiday season. You know I love you all, and you will be in my prayers.

Love and Chickens to all.
(sorry if this sounded like an awful greeting card- didnt mean it to be)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: DorianGreyed,