Hi guys.

I think most of you probably know I work for hospice.

Through my job, I became friends with a guy with leukemia. I have been caring for him for about a year (not in hospice). He lost his battle with the leukemia today, and I was at his bedside with his family.

It is a particular sad situation, and he is too young to die (39).

Through this situation I have been having thoughts of stopping my work with hospice. Its too hard not to become attached, and I am sooo exhausted from seeing people waste and fade away. People with lives, and with a future ahead of them.

But, the other part of me says...stay strong...these people need you.

My prayer request is just for guidence and comfort at this time. For me, and for his family.

Thanks my friends.

I do feel for you, I know how this can be - been there, done that.

Along with prayer, I offer a bit of advise, Take a break - a vacation - just get away, especially with a fresh loss on your heart and mind. Take some "me" time and work on yourself. If you push it for too long you will end up running away and never looking back, then feeling like a heel for running.

We are only human and we do tend to become attached to the people in our lives, especially if we are tending their needs during a dark time in their lives. When they pass on we are left with grief and doubt as to if we can do it again. This is all part of the grief process, it is healing, but can be down right annoying.

A break/vacation will give you time to sort through the emotions you have, and come to grips with being human. It will also give you time to get some "me" time, something which maybe you haven't had lately.

Yes these people need you, they need you as the kind caring compassionate person who does extend the human heart to them (attachment) It does them no good if you become hard hearted, or use indifference to keep from caring. Being a cold machine will do no one any good, you, them, no one. It is best to take a break (for a week perhaps, then see how you are feeling) before things get out of control, those emotions can be heavy burdens at times.

If you are tired, rest. The body and soul knows that rest is good. Rest is healing.

David

Thank you David.

I have to thank God that today is a beautiful spring day, sun shining, light breeze, no clouds. It tends to lighten the heart.

I am going to take a bit of a vacation from hospice. At least a week of not seeing patients, but I will be working at the hospital tonight. Thats not so bad, because I won't have gotten attached to anyone there.

My hospice boss and coworkers often say, I need to have emotional boundries, and not get so attached. Apparently I am unable to separate myself....

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen with every patient. I mean, I care about all my patients, but not like this. There is usually one or 2 patients a year that I seem to bond more with.

Anyway, I am going to try to enjoy this beautiful day, and enjoy some quiet time. Thank you for the thoughts, prayers and advice.

Shel my friend - It takes a very special type of person to be involved in Health care AT ALL, much less Hospice care. You have been given a gift, one that I'm sure is difficult to handle sometimes. Just know that you have probably made a huge difference in many people's lives, and I know their families know what you've given of yourself.

Take care my friend, take care of yourself, take time, and know that we love you.

Shelster, I'll definitely pray for you and his family. Just take a little time off because these people do need you. Stay strong.

Shel, I can only echo what's already been said here. I've always admired people like you that can handle situations such as this. If people like you didn't exist, things would be a lot harder on people who NEED people like you.

I don't know if you truly know how appreciated you are. Hospice people are angels to comfort the souls.

Take a break if you wish, of course, but don't waste your compassion - you make a great angel!

Will pray