So, this isn’t really “religious,” but I’m looking for some interpretation and thought I’d post it here. If it would be better somewhere else, moderators, feel free to up and move it.

Anyway, yesterday my husband and I were driving back from helping m father close his pool and dropping off some job applications for me, and we get to our street and it’s all blocked off my police cars and a trooper. Oh man. Now, it wasn’t that long ago that all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men had to come to our apartment complex because this crackhead had run her car into our building. So we’re like, oh what the hell now? But, this time the excitement was on the street leading to the apartment complex.
So we park the truck and we walk on down because I had to get home to change and we pass the excitement area and lo and behold, there’s a silver SUV-thing rolled onto its side in the middle of the road!! Now, I know those things roll, but come on! The speed limit it 20mph on that road!
So, it turns out that the SUV had been backing out of her driveway when this little black car came screaming up out of the apartment complex (and I know he was screaming because he has never just driven out of the complex, he always screams) and nailed her in the rear quarter panel, hard enough to spin her ninety degrees and tip her on her side. Holy crow!
So that was number one.

We walked down to our apartment, I changed, we walked back up to the truck and started off again. Two streets over, they were paving so there was a construction worker directing traffic around the big huge grater. He motioned this white car to go, so the white car went, but he had to edge along to fit between the grater and all the parked cars (everyone was parked on the road because no one could get home anywhere!) and then he had to stop because there were cars coming the other way. So all of a sudden, the guy in the grater (who cannot see the street, by the way, the thing is so big) cranks the wheel and starts to back up, driving his tire right into the drivers’ side door and scraping down a good two feet on that side. Oh My Lord.
So, we park the truck and give the car’s driver our number just in case he needs a witness, and then we’re off again.
That was number two.

My husband drops me off at my friends’ house and heads over to his sisters’. An hour or so later he comes to pick me up, we’re all standing at the door and all of a sudden there’s this crashing sound in the branches of the oak tree about forty feet above us, and twigs and leaves come cascading down. Then CRACK! THUMP! Two freaking squirrels fall out of the damn tree! One landed on the lawn and one cracked his head on the sidewalk. We try to get a little closer to see and the lawn one up and runs away. The sidewalk one does not. Then CRACK! Out of the sky comes another squirrel and lands in the gutter next to the street!
Oh for crying out loud! So we’re thinking we have to get a shovel and help these guys, or gas ‘em or something. Then I think, maybe we can just put them in a box and take them to the vet or something so they can deal with it humanely. While my friend is off looking for a box, the two dumbass squirrels are wriggling around looking really awful. Then the one in the street hops up and runs off and jumps back up into a tree! A few seconds later, the sidewalk one does the same thing! Good grief.
So that was number three. After that, we went home and went to bed. Enough is enough.

So. Omens? Signs? Can anyone translate what the hell is going on in my neighborhood?

IMHO, it's coincidence. Natural occurances. People--and squirrels--are generally kinda dumb.

BUT! That you were there to witness all three coincidental events could be a personal message for you. I'd recommend you be extra careful, and to pay close attention to your dreams.

Check to see if your car, life, flood and house/rental insurance are all paid up!

Oh, and DO NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, watch Final Destination!

It has something to do with me. Yes, this is the best interpretation. After all, my real name is Carolyn, and there was a car in the street, then an o in the street, then two squirrels temporarily lyn (lyin' = lying) in the street. So what does a street mean to me? Well, its a direction which I have to take. I will lay on my side, I will back up after looking behind me so that I do not crash, and if the going gets so rough that I faint, I will shake myself off and climb up to where I want to get. Truly, I had been resting, started thinking about past negative experiences, and am now being told by your story to get over with that difficult chore of filing a lawsuit, which I had been putting off, because it seems impossible to win. At least, when that task is over, I'll be able to get on with living my life on a higher plane. How did you know that God wanted to relay this message to me?

As for the future of two squirrels and one tree, . . . The two squirrels are my sister and me. We have to climb up like wise owls, a little worse for our present financial difficulties but a lot better off for having trusted God.

As I sometimes say, there is no escaping God.

Did I scare you with the tongue interpretation of my name, Carolyn?

P.S. I am happy that God communicates with a witch like you, Elexina, even moving you to post the message to me here.

Here is the interpretation for you, Elexina. You change your clothes and the two of you get transported two blocks. God is present in the Holy Spirit as a double portion Holy Spirit. So you fly high for a time, but not accustomed to knowing the presence of God, you two fall out of the tree. Yet, you are now more openminded to climbing up that tree again. What's up there is for you and hubby to discover.

Nice story Tsaeb.

Elexina, I can't wait for your reply.

honilov: What's all the more amusing to me is that my sister's faith increased when I told her that we are going to climb back up from our present "financial challenges." Also, $695 showed up.

Well, things have been fairly calm since that day, but I did make sure all of my finances and insurances and such were in order...

Um, yeah, thanks, Tsaeb. That clears everything up. Too bad your god needed to throw squirrels out of trees onto their poor little heads in order to send a message. Next time perhaps he should just relate it straight instead of causing unnecessary harm and pain to innocent creatures.

Elexina: "My God" would not cause unnecessary harm and pain. He just does His mighty works in ways mysterious to too many of us. Too bad.

Tsaeb, the only problem with your statement is that it is awful and disturbing. If your interpretation of the events of that day is to be taken as true, then it should be evident that the squirrels were tossed down on their heads by your god, right? That is what you claim? They were tossed on their heads as a message that I was to relate to you.
Well, I would have hoped that there would be less hideous ways of getting messages across. Mysterious ways? No kidding. You seem to feel that causing pain and harm was necessary and acceptable, so that, in the end, you could receive your message. Wow. That's sick, Tseab. And it's also number 465 of "why Elexina is not a Christian."