I've heard all about the human inability to not sneeze with one's eyes open, even in the Pool. But I could've sworn I fairly easily kept my eyes open one time while sneezing. Are you guys sure it's impossible? Did I just think they were open and they actually weren't? They felt pretty wide. What's the deal? Am I a phenomenon?

OH woops! I meant yawning! I definitely can't sneeze with my eyes open.......ok, now I'm feeling doubt. Is it sneezing that you can't keep your eyes open for or yawning?

Perhaps I did mean sneezing actually.

And look what I found. #33

Question solved. Sorry for the confusion.

Actually, you can sneeze with your eyes open; it's just not an advisable thing to do, because your eyeballs would shoot out off your head and off into the distance. The most unsettling part would be that, as your eyes spun away over the horizon, you'd catch glimpses of yourself - gradually receding while standing still.

This very thing happened to a friend of a friend of mine.

It took ages for him to find his eyeballs again. He searched everywhere; in fact, he kept his eyes out for so long that they had to find employment to support themselves. They ended up living eyeball-to-eyeball in a cramped studio.

They hired themselves out doing they only thing they could; looking for stuff. Lost children or jewelry, cheating husbands, missing persons - that kind of work. Nobody realised that they weren't whole people because they were so secretive about how they did everything.

In fact, you could say that they were really private eyes.

It ruined the life of the friend of my friend. He spent almost all his money looking for his eyes. When he finally found them, and set out home, he didn't even have enough left to buy a small souvenir from his travels for his wife.

When he arrived home she was standing there, waiting for a present, but all he had to show for his months away were his eyeballs. When he told her that he only had eyes for her, she left him.

He's become something of an embarrassment since, always stopping strangers and insisting that they listen to his pitiful story. He carries his eyeballs around in his pockets (I guess so he can keep his eyes on what little money he has) and shoves them in the face of anyone who'll pay any attention.

A couple of days ago I met him and asked how things were. He didn't speak; he just sighed and rolled his eyes at me.

Ha!

That almost sounded believable. I was about to do one of these.