First, I tried posting this in the words and language forum, but I keep getting an error page, and I no patience!

So, what's the appropriate way to address a Christmas card? If they are a couple and they are friends, I don't want to use Mr and Mrs..I want to use their first names. Now here's the problem. When those people have kids, do you include them on the envelope? I always do in the card itself, but how to you make it out on the envelope?
Example: John and Susan Smith (do I put, 'and family' here? Or do I use the kids' names as well? John, Susan, Johnny Jr and Cindy Smith??) What's the appropriate way?

You would use "John and Susan Smith and Family" on the envelope.

For an unmarried couple you would put one name above the other, two lines, on the envelope...
example:

John Smith
Susan Jones

or

John Smith
Larry Jones

I would leave off the 'and family' on the envelope, but include it inside the card.

Addressing 'and family' on the envelope makes it fair game for anyone to open it. Many times, envelopes are kept with the cards to use in retrieving addresses for next years cards. If the kids get their hands on it, the envelope may well be mutilated.

NC, good point. My children were not allowed to open any mail that wasn't addressed directly TO them. So I wasn't thinking about that possibility.

In the case of Cards, invitations, etc. Regardless if they are friend or family or acquaintance you should keep in the honorary titles (Mr. Mrs. Miss, Ms. Dr.). This is the proper way to do this.

When Addressing a whole family, it would be:

The Maxwells
The Stewarts
The Smiths

When Addressing split families, the correct address would be:

Mr. John Smith
Ms. Joann Maxwell

If there are any children you would refrain from addressing the children on the envelope.

Which brings me to the proper place for first names, nick names and individual addressing, that would be the interior of the card where you would address it:

Dear John, Joann, John Jr. and Susan, Rover and Kitty. Usually placing males preceding females. If there are Boys and Girls, you would go back and forth with age, say:

Dear John, Joann, John Jr, Sally, Mark, Susan, Rover and kitty, tagging on animals last (yes some people do send cards to animals in the family as well)

Cheers

Mr. Manners (David)

I avoid all that problem with etiquette......I don't send Christmas cards out at all. That's the best way to solve the problem!

I agree with Mr Manners. The envelope is the public face of the communication, the bit that is out there for anyone to read. It should be addressed to "Mr and Mrs" or whatever is appropriate. I tend to put "and family" if they have one, if only to indicate that "This is a greeting card".

The place to start calling them John Boy, Smudge and Fido is inside the card where the world cannot read these private things.

How do you deal with people who address the card to the dog but mention you inside ? Perhaps that is not a problem for many of you. Here he even gets junk mail!

The conventional way to an easier life is to put an advertisement in the Court or Personal sections of The Times, written in the third person, wishing 'all his/her/their friends' a happy Christmas

I was wondering where this post went

Okay, I think I can get these cards out now. Thank you all for your replies. They helped me a bunch.

(and I always include our dogs in the cards! )

So who the hell does John Smith live with?

Susan Jones, Joann Maxwell ....... or is he the gay live-in lover of Larry Jones?

Pup, don't go sending Christmas cards to cheaters who don't even know their own sexuality!!